(Closed) The Bridesmaid and Best Friend that CANCELS!

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m so sorry this happened to you!! I agree- if I were her, I would ask to take the final early/late so that I could be there. Also that she cancelled on such late notice after you’ve begun to count on her and bought her gifts. If its only this one time, I would try my very hardest to get over it and not let it ruin years of friendship. If this happens a lot, I’d start wondering if she cares as much about the friendship as you do and rethink the relationship. I’m sorry!!

Post # 4
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I understand you’re upset, but you can’t expect her to “reschedule” her final (if that’s even possible).

At least she didn’t ask you to reschedule your wedding. I am having my wedding towards the end of the school year, so I understand the pressures, if one of them had told me their final was around the same time, and they felt they couldn’t make it, I would completely understand. 

Post # 5
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Wow.  I feel for you because a professor will always work w/ you if you a reasonable explaination.  And a wedding is.

I say not to worry about it now and enjoy your wedding.  Your marrying your Love and she’s going to miss out.  Have another good friend, sister, or Mom stand as your Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I know your frustrated but sometimes ppl are just flaky and they become an acquaintance instead of a Bestie.

Can’t wait to see and here your recap.



Post # 6
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would assume she can’t swing the money and is too embarrassed to say that. I had to miss a Destination Wedding I was supposed to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in because it was the week of my finals, too. I could have rescheduled them, but either way I would have had to make a 12 hour drive and I wouldn’t have had time to study for my finals. It’s just not feasible for some people to fly somewhere, spend a day (your wedding) and then fly back the next day for a final.

Personally, I would have lost a ton of money and probably my credit. I know it hurts, but the way I saw it was that I would still be able to see her after her wedding, but I couldn’t afford the trip or the lack of study time.

I would maybe talk to her, but I wouldn’t end the friendship over it. Destination Wedding are great, but they also mean it’s very hard for some people to make it. 

Post # 7
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m sorry and I know it stinks.  I agree with PP that the most likely reason is actually finances, instead of the finals, because I have moved finals before.  But it’s embarassing to admit she can’t afford it and doesn’t want the “if you just saved $100 for the last year, you could have afforded it” lecture.

I’ve been in her shoes.  I had to pull out of a very close friends wedding because I simply couldn’t afford to go.  I know the friend was really hurt and I feel 100% awful for it.  And it definitely took a little while for our friendship to get back on track.  Eventually she came to realize that I do love her and her family very much, and it certainly wasn’t for a lack of wanting to be there!  Now she’s actually a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my wedding, because we were both able to see it from the other person’s perspective and move on with the friendship.

If she’s truly been your best friend for that long, there must be a reason by and as hard as I know it is, understand that it’s also likely a huge disappointment for her not to be able to be there for your big day.  Talk to her about it, but don’t write off the friendship.

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