(Closed) The bridesmaid saga that won't end.

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I say stick to your guns.  You thought the friendship was toxic, and you cut her out.  The ONLY reason you’re contemplating letting her back into your wedding and your life is because she made you feel like a bad person for getting rid of her.

You are not benefitting from this friendship at ALL, and friendships should improve BOTH people’s lives.

Post # 3
Member
3529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

View original reply
justwondering2015:  I had a friend like this.  I finally ended it once and for all after she got pissed at me for putting some distance between the two of us… FYI she was doing drugs and other unhealthy things in her life.  She accused ME of not working on the friendship, when I’ve bent over backwards in the past to try to keep our relationship going.  The sad thing is that I still miss her, or I miss having a close female friend, and will think about contacting her.  And then I think about our entire friendship… it would be no different now, and I don’t need that drama in my life.  

I know it’s hard to sever ties with a friend you’ve had a while, but is it honestly a healthy relationship for you?  It seems like you are seeking approval from her and, considering the dynamic of the friendship (and the type of person you say she is), it’s not a healthy situation for you (or for anyone, really).  

This is YOUR day.  Even if she doesn’t cause a scene- won’t you be a nervous wreck all day worrying that she could start something at any moment???

Post # 4
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Yikes, stay far away from this woman. I can understand you (I can be a pushover sometimes) but she’s clearly guilt-tripping you and I agree with PP you are getting NOTHING out of this friendship.

 

Post # 5
Member
1153 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

View original reply
justwondering2015:  cut your loses and walk away. She sounds manipulative.

Post # 6
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

It seems like nothing good can come from this friendship. It’s time to move on.

Post # 8
Member
3529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

View original reply
justwondering2015:  But this seems a bit more complicated than just “her ex hubby is a groomsman”.  And if he wasn’t in the wedding, wouldn’t you still be questioning inviting her???  I think this has more to do with the friendship, than it does about anything uncomfortable going down the day of (although that is also a HUGE factor).  I could be wrong though 🙂

Post # 9
Member
832 posts
Busy bee

It almost seems like she’s being emotionally abusive to you. I’d be careful with her. It seems like shes only looking out for herself, and maybe shes trying to use this as a way to get back into favor with her ex? I dont’ know. I’d hate for unnecessary drame to erupt on your wedding.

Post # 10
Member
322 posts
Helper bee

In any relationship, once the bad starts to outweigh the good, you should cut your losses. 

Post # 11
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
justwondering2015:  There is not 1 reason that you mentioned that would make this friendship worth “working on”. None. Zip. Zero. Nada.

…And she sure as hell should not be a bridesmaid. You already gave her more time to defend herself and she used it to attack and manipulate you so that way YOU would think you were the one with the problem.

You need to stop letting her do this and the only way would be to let her go. Completely cut her out of your life and move on.

Post # 12
Member
7362 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Really OP, you typed out all of that and you’re really confused about what to do???

If I typed this out and asked for advice what you tell me to do?

 

Post # 13
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Why is this even a question? She’s bad news. Why would you want a feuding divorced couple in your bridal party anyway? 

Post # 14
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee

You got me at this: “This girl has consistently forgotten about my wedding-related events like engagement parties and vendor meetings (which she of course gave excuses for and refused to acknowledge any wrongdoing).”

Attending engagement parties (or party) is not required, nor are any vendor meetings, unless you’re going to a bridesmaid dress shop, and she wants a vote for which dress you choose.

Many bees will tell you that all a bridesmaid really has to do is show up the day of the wedding, in the chosen dress. Period!

 

The topic ‘The bridesmaid saga that won't end.’ is closed to new replies.

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