(Closed) The bridesmaid saga that won't end.

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
533 posts
Busy bee

 I predict lots of drama no matter what you do. So I say choose no drama at your wedding and uninvite her. Do it on a day that is already not good( tax day, annual exam day, ripping up carpet day etc.).  

Tell her that the two of you can talk about rebuilding your friendship after your wedding. But that if she wants to be friends with you, she has to earn back your trust. (She doen’t have to earn your friendship, but she needs to earn back the trust that is an important part of being friends.) 

Post # 17
Member
5151 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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justwondering2015:  Don’t let her back in. This girl has drama written all over her. She turned things around on you and made YOU feel bad – classic signs of a manipulator. You do NOT want that drama on your wedding day – what if she freaks and makes a scene during the ceremony? 

I am a pushover too (totally) but you REALLY REALLY need to stick up for yourself here. Please don’t let her back in the bridal party. 

Post # 18
Member
3163 posts
Sugar bee

What’s a b!tch anyway? An assertive woman typically, right? And you have every right to be assertive in this situation and walk away from this toxic “friendship”. If you re-read what you’ve written you’ll be able to see what we can – that you know in your heart moving on is the right thing for you, and that you and your friend have very different values.

Good luck 🙂

Post # 19
Member
1031 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - His Way Church & Chesapeake Room @ Downs Park

If you let her back in and try to work on the friendship, the only person that will get anything positive out of it is her, while it will affect so many other people negatively (including you). Tell her you’ve changed your mind about letting her back in and end the “friendship.” Doing that to her wouldn’t be half as bad as what she’s put you through. 

Post # 21
Member
4295 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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2XMOB:  This is true, unless the bridesmaid agrees to attend (or RSVPs in the case of an engagement party) and then backs out with no warning and no explanation. I invited my girls to do a walk through with me at my venue and a couple couldn’t make it, but the few that could seemed really excited to do so. The day of, one of my bridesmaids doesn’t show up or answer her phone and we stood around waiting for her for nearly twenty minutes before just going on with the tour. Later, I find out she went to the gym and ran late and figured she couldn’t get home to change in time, so she just went home and took a nap. This tour was not required, but rather a “Hey, I’m doing this next Thursday if anyone wants to attend” and the girls reached out to me as such.

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justwondering2015:  I think everyone has made great points: This girl sounds like a nightmare. Why is this even a question? I would not let her be a bridesmaid and invite her as a guest. If she chooses not to come that’s not on you, that is a direct reflection of her character.

Post # 22
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

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justwondering2015:  It’s okay to grow out of friendships. At some point, you have to ask yourself what you’re getting out of the friendship. If you’ve giving your time, effort, and sanity and recieving nothing in return, it’s a toxic frienship.

One of my best friends of 5 years at the time introduced me to my Fiance in college. My friend grew into a pretty bad person and my Fiance and I ended up cutting all ties with him. Now our lives are drama-free and happier without him. He will not be invited to the wedding, and that’s okay! We are thankful that he was the reason we met one another, but that isn’t a reason to keep a bad person in your life. Better to end things before they get even worse and ruin your wedding.

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