(Closed) The Buzz: When People Ask You About Having Children

posted 7 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 32
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Generally, something like “not anytime soon” or “right now I love being an aunt.” If its someone I know better, I explain that I’m not sure, but leaning towards not having kids. 

I think either way, it’s a really personal question that people shouldnt ask you about. Someone may not want kids, someone may want them but can’t have them, some people may have already had a kid and given them up for an adoption. It’s none of your business, so don’t ask. 

Post # 33
Member
4845 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

“Fuck that”

“When are you planning to be sterilized?”

Or look at the floor and cry. 

Post # 34
Member
1143 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I hate it when people ask! I realize they probably aren’t trying to be rude or nosey (just making conversation), but sheesh. It’s gotten worse from family since my cousin, who is the same age as me, had a baby a couple of months ago. So now it’s the “Just think, next Christmas you could have a baby, she’ll have a bigger baby, then you can rotate Christmases!”

Then we get it from my husband’s side, as his one step-sibling just had a baby, and the other two are expecting.

Usually I say, “I have a dog, she’s enough for now,” or say “Why don’t YOU have a baby if you want one so badly?”

Post # 35
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2000

Whenever I read about this phenomenon, I always wonder what I’m doing ‘wrong’. We’re a heterosexual couple of childbearing ability (that we or anyone else knows of), we have friends, we have family, and have been happily married (and fianacially stable) for three years…

It’s never come up. 

Post # 36
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m not married yet, but I get this question ALL THE TIME. Me and Fiance always respond with “We have time”, and that usually shuts down the conversation pretty well.

 

We do want kids, but I am pretty easily offended when people try to invite this conversation because I think our reproduction is no one elses business! 

Post # 37
Bee
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Schloss Heiligenberg/ Spearfish Canyon Lodge

We’ve been married 1.5 years and luckily haven’t had to deal with this question too much for two reasons: Those close to us know that ‘Yes, we’re planning to have kids’ and Mr. B is still in school. The only people who have seriously asked us are family friends when we visit other churches, but the school answer satisfies them. Once Mr. B is out of school, though… we’ll probably get a lot more questions.

Post # 38
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

we dont want kids at all, but since some people are so pushy we just say:

“We’re waiting until we’re better of financially” “In about 5 years we’ll start trying”

but if it’s a friend we just tell them we already have 3 babies: a dog and 2 cats.

Post # 39
Member
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We got married a month ago and people, our families especially, have been asking us from the time we got engaged when we’re planning on having kids.  I can never think of anything witty to say.  I usually just say “soon”.

Post # 40
Member
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - parent\'s backyard

our answer was: “we’re not sure if we want to have children.” it’s been a couple of years and we’ve made our decision so now we’ve changed it to “we don’t want them.” I think it’s good to be straightforward so nobody gets their hopes up. I think people deserve an honest answer in this type of situation.

Post # 41
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

“After 30” 

DH and I are both 27, so we’ve got some time. We do want kids and have stated as much, so it’s not a very awkward question. All of our people are fairly polite about it, nobody really tries to pry much. 

Post # 42
Member
1863 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

“We’re waiting until we have a bigger place.”

“We’re enjoying the “us” time before kids.”

“I’ve already helped raise 4 siblings, so we’re going to wait a few years.”

For close friends/family who were starting to get obnoxious with the “when are you going to have kids? hurry up!’ mentality:

“I have some health issues and we’ve been told that having kids naturally might not be possible and I’m not mentally ready to deal with that yet.” Works like a charm 🙂

Post # 43
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

I’m not married yet, but people have been asking Fiance and I since we got engaged when we plan on having kids. I just tell them the truth: 4-5 years. We want to finish paying off our student loans, which will take 3 years, and we want a year or 2 to enjoy being debt free and travel. 

Post # 44
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I have been very vocal about our indecisiveness regarding children, so no one really asks us 🙂  I am just starting to get into my career so now isn’t a good time anyway! 

Post # 45
Member
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I usually reply that we are planning on having children in the future, but right now we are waiting for my husband to finish his Master’s degree and that we should probably move into an apartment with at least two bedrooms. 

Post # 46
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I say, “We definitely want kids, it’s up to God when!”

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