(Closed) The Buzz: When will you have kids and how many will you have?

posted 6 years ago in Weddingbee
  • poll: How many kids do you and your SO want?
    None : (30 votes)
    10 %
    One : (31 votes)
    11 %
    Two : (112 votes)
    38 %
    Three : (60 votes)
    21 %
    Four or more : (16 votes)
    5 %
    We haven't decided yet. : (21 votes)
    7 %
    We want children but we aren't sure/don't care how many. : (18 votes)
    6 %
    Other (please explain) : (3 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    346 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    We would like 2 but have also discussed that 4 is the absolute max. We are also considering adoption as well. I was adopted and Fiance and I are very open to it. We will probably try and get pregnant in about 2 years and we will see how that goes and go from there, depending on how difficult it is to get pregnant for us. I have a gut feeling we will end up with 3 though. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    1218 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @Mrs. Mouse:  This has come up a fair bit with Darling Husband and I, because he’s older (I’m 25, he’s 31) and a lot of his friends have just had children.

    Emotionally I think we’re both ready for a child, but financially we’re a long way off. I work part time at the moment while I’m finishing uni, and DH’s job pays peanuts, so we’re struggling a bit. Once I’ve worked for a couple of years we’ll be in a position to think about having kids (we would like two!).

    I think it does make Darling Husband sad when he thinks about being an ‘older’ dad (he’ll probably be 34 or 35 by the time we have our first child). But he shouldn’t have married a woman six years younger if that was such a huge issue!

    Post # 34
    Member
    9129 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    We’re still not ready for kids money- or career-wise, and we’re 31 and 33. We’ll start TTC when I’m 33. Two kids, most likely (*knock on wod*)… my husband is one of three and likes that, but I’m not sure we’ll  have the finances / fertility / stamina for three!

    Post # 35
    Hostess
    11165 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    @Mrs. Mouse:  We are TTC right now (here’s hoping for my BFP anyday now). I have always said if we are lucky enough to have a girl I would be happy with one child. If we end up with a boy for our first I might be encouraged to tempt fate once more in trying for a girl.

    My Darling Husband would ideally like two kids, he grew up with three other siblings. I am an only child and absolutely loved it. Obviously nothing is ruled out quite yet.

    Post # 36
    Bee
    6474 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

    We knew we wanted kids from very early on in our relationship. Our fur babies {two cats & a dog} were our first babies, and watching Mr. Jaguar interact with them gave me warm fuzzies. Having been diagnosed with PCOS before we were married, we knew TTC would be a potentially challenging journey, so we tried before the wedding to no avail. After 20 months & two rounds of IVF, we met Baby Jag – our beautiful daughter, who has made it all worthwhile. As for how many we want, well, that’ll come down to finances & planning ahead for another round of IVF… but if it was up to me, we’d be trying now for Baby #2! 

     

    Post # 37
    Member
    919 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    He’s more hesitant about kids than I am. I think 2 is a nice number. He thinks we should have 1 first and then decide whether we want another one. We both agree on not having more than 2.

    Post # 38
    Member
    1935 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    The topic of children came up fairly early on between my Fiance and I. Growing up, I just never had the urge to play house, or have baby dolls. As I got older, I never liked the idea of being pregnant, and when other friends were oo-ing and ahhh-ing over babies, I was emaotionally detached from them. After telling my Fiance I was unsure if I’d ever want kids, he was very supportive – mostly because he feels the same way. We’re not 100% ruling it out, but right now, and for the foreseeable future, children are not in our plans. 

    Call is selfish, but the fact that my Fiance is older than me is also part of my decision to be CFBC. I want to spend as much time with him as possible, and give him as much love and attention as I can. I don’t think it would be fair, or right, to bring a child into the world that we’re not 100% sure we want. 

    I always hear “oh, you’ll change your mind about kids, I guarantee it” from people who hear we aren’t planning on having children. This bothers me a lot. Just because it’s the social norm to procreate, doesn’t mean I’m going to fit into that mold. I’m 27 years old, and I’ve grown up not wanting to be a mother. To imply that it’s just a phase and when I “mature” I’ll change my mind is pretty forward. I respect people’s decisions to HAVE kids, and I wish they’d respect ours not to. 

    Besides, our friends will have babies, so I’ll still have plenty of opportunities to spoil children!

    Post # 39
    Member
    2571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I put “haven’t decided yet,” bc Fiance and I really don’t like other people’s kids. If we have them, I will need to be sure that he will split child rearing duties w/ me bc I don’t want to deal with it alone. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I am 25 He is 26.  our wedding is next year…. I wouldnt mind having our first child around 28. Then maybe another one or two ..,, who knows 😉

    Post # 41
    Member
    3552 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We plan to have a child somewhere between 28-32, so in 5-9 years from now. We plan to have one and will make the decision on if we want 2 after we have the first (I get slightly more say as it’s my body). Right now I think we’re both leaning towards just 1.

    Post # 42
    Member
    1108 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Since we got engaged we have thrown around 5-7 years alot.  I’m not really sure where we came up with that, but that would put us at 30-32 years old, which would be good for us.  Neither of us are even close to being ready for kids, plus we want to enjoy a few years of ‘just us’ time. 

    And since we both enjoyed growing up with one sibling, we want to have 2… one day.

    Post # 43
    Member
    3276 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We have agreed to start TTC summer 2015! I will be 22 and he will be 24. We want to have 3-4 and I would love to have twins! My dad was a twin so it’s possible. We wanted to graduate college, buy a house, get a dog, travel to different countries, and be financially stable first which we have already done all of that! Now it’s just a matter of time. I personally wouldn’t mind having kids sooner but Fiance wants to wait until we’ve been married a year and travel a few more places. 

    Post # 44
    Member
    6739 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Well, Fiance made it known that it was very important to him to have kids and I was on board with that. We chose 2 because we both had siblings and we wanted for our future children to have that experience, as well. We also wanted to make sure that we had enough resources (time and finances) for each kid; we didn’t want to spread ourselves too thin, so we thought 2 was a good number. We are waiting until we are a bit more settled and financially stable before having any kids (likely next year, after the wedding, planning to start TTC on our honeymoon). We will both be 30 before we start trying. We would consider a 3rd child if we had the money/time for a 3rd one, but that is something we will decide after the first 2.

    Post # 45
    Member
    186 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Blue Horse Farm

    We both want two kids.  We have talked and decided that after a year or so of being married we will go off all forms of birth control and just see what happens.  If after awhile I don’t get pregnant we will go in and see what’s going on, but we don’t want to have a ton of pressure on it.  We also decided that if we can’t have kids naturally then we would be childfree, but who knows, that may change someday.

    We are getting married September of next year, so I would imagine we would start “TTC” in late 2015.  I will be 27 then and my Fiance (DH) will be 31.

    Post # 46
    Member
    370 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Mrs. Mouse:  Our goal is to start TTC in 2 years.  By then, we should be financially safe to do so and have enough in savings; other than that, we’re married, have a home and a dog, and want to enjoy 2 years of newlywed child-free bliss!

     

     

     

    We will definitely only be having one (unless we get pregnant with twins or something).  After that, I will go back on BC and hubby will probably opt to have a vasectomy.  We want a baby, but neither one of us have ever imagined having more than one.  For me, pregancy is one of those, you do it once in a lifetime occurence type things, and we both agree that with one child, we’ll get to experience being parents, but still have the time and energy for our own relationship as husband and wife, with all that devotion to our only child, too.  

     

    In two years, I will be newly 25 and Darling Husband will be about to turn 33.

     

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