(Closed) The Buzz: When will you have kids and how many will you have?

posted 6 years ago in Weddingbee
  • poll: How many kids do you and your SO want?
    None : (30 votes)
    10 %
    One : (31 votes)
    11 %
    Two : (112 votes)
    38 %
    Three : (60 votes)
    21 %
    Four or more : (16 votes)
    5 %
    We haven't decided yet. : (21 votes)
    7 %
    We want children but we aren't sure/don't care how many. : (18 votes)
    6 %
    Other (please explain) : (3 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 62
    Member
    141 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011 - Downtown 202

    Oh man. We discussed having kids before we got married, and I think we’d both like to be parents … eventually. But a couple weeks before the wedding, I flipped out about how after marriage the next step is kids, and wound up sobbing that I didn’t know if I wanted kids or not. And I told him that if that was a deal-breaker, I would understand. But it wasn’t, and since then, I have realized that a LOT of things are going to change for us over our lifetime, and that we choose to be with each other anyway. I still don’t know what I want, and we have no timeline for trying (though for sure it would be after he gets out of grad school, because neither of us are ready now). I think we’ll both know if/when the time is right.

    That said, I’ve always had this feeling that I’ve been called to adopt children, so if we do pursue parenthood, that would be a route I’m interested in. Mr. H is open to that option, though he would like to have biological children first.

    Post # 63
    Bee
    615 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012 - Mother of the Bride\'s residence

    Before I got pregnant I thought I wanted three. Then I started thinking two. Now that I’m less than three weeks away from my due date… we’ve talked about this being our one and only. Pregnancy was a lot more difficult on me than I expected, and our finances have really taken a hit. I’m not sure that we can afford two — in fact, I know that we can’t afford more than one unless something changes for us, financially. Right now I’m content with one, but open to two. I suspect if we have another, he or she will not be coming for a few years, though — I need a bit of time and space to think about pregnancy again!

    We just sort of came to the decision organically. Had we been REALLY logical we would have waited another year to have our first, but because we went with our hearts vs. our wallets this time around, it will have to be different for any other kiddo.

    Post # 64
    Member
    578 posts
    Busy bee

    We started discussing this VERY early on in our relationship actually. I tend to picture us with 4 kids, he said he likes 2. We compromised on aiming for 3 🙂 But honestly, I see us being happy with however many we get. 

    Post # 65
    Member
    1425 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

    We talk about it a lot, and still don’t have a definitive idea of if/when we’ll have kids.  I tell everyone it’ll be at least a decade, or a million years, but in reality I think I don’t want to wait more than a year and a half to start trying (if we decide to have kids, I don’t want to start too late!  I’m almost 28, and he’s 30 now.).  I’m the indecisive one, moreso, as I’m kind of terrified about the idea, so some days I don’t even know if I would be able to handle it, while on days that I decide I do want kids I want 3.  My husband wants 2, I believe, and he pretty much definitely wants kids.  I knew that going in, and I’m pretty sure we’ll end up having kids, but you never know.  

    Post # 66
    Bee
    91 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Catholic church followed by a botanical conservatory

    Mr. Funnel Cake wants two: “No more, no less.” I am a believer that you have to see how the first one goes before you decide about having more, but I love kids and I’m sure I’d try to convince him for a third or more.

    We plan on having kids in 5-7 years when I am in my early thirties and Mr. FC is in his mid-late thirties.

    Post # 67
    Member
    358 posts
    Helper bee

    Ideally between 30 and 35.  I can see us having only one kid as we both plan to run our own businesses and have lots of sweet hobbies…and travel!  But we’d be open to two seeing how the first one goes.  I really can’t imagine after going through nine months of pregnancy, labor, sleepless nights, diapers, toilet training and finally getting to a point where they are independent, that I would want to go through the whole thing over again.  But who knows

    Post # 68
    Member
    1443 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    One…somwhat due to our ages (I’m 32, Darling Husband is 29 and we’re expecting our baby in January).  I’d want to have a few years between kids if we had more, but I don’t think I’d feel up to this whole pregnancy thing again when I’m later in my 30s.  Also, we conceived while Darling Husband was on shore duty in the Navy, and since now he is looking at several years of deployments because of going back to sea duty, logistically it won’t happen.  

    Post # 69
    Member
    3194 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Mrs. Mouse:  2, but if we have 2 of the same gender we’re going to try for a third. the only way we would have 4 is if we become unexpectedly blessed and are able to adopt a 3rd or 4th.

    Post # 70
    Bee
    91 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Catholic church followed by a botanical conservatory

    @TwoStatesBride:  haha yeah I told Mr. FC he’s in trouble if we have two boys and no girls! I’d really want one of both… but then it’s great having same-gender siblings. This is why people need 4 kids!! Two of each in a perfect world. 😉

    Post # 71
    Bee
    30 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - The Grand Hotel, Cape May, NJ

    Undecided between two and three – but definitely no more than that!

    As for the timeline, probably within the next five years or so – ideally, Stallion will have completed his doctoral program and we’ll be settled down in one place for the long haul. Kids, like a lot of our long-term plans, are on hold until he’s got his Ph.D.

    Post # 72
    Bee
    1466 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Father\'s Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

    How did you decide when to have kids and how many to have? Take the poll and let us know in the comments below how you and your SO came to your decision!

    We decided to start trying right after getting married. We decided that since we had been together 7 years before getting married, that we didn’t really want or need the time to adjust to being married. It took us a year to get pregnant though, and looking at the timeframe, I would say that it was for the best! We have also talked it through and decided that we are only going to have two children and be done. Mr. D will be getting snipped right after #2 (who we will start trying for in about 1 1/2-2 years) and that will be that. We may open discussions about adopting an older child, but that will not be until the children we do have are also older.

    Post # 73
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - The Island House, Charleston, SC

    Not too long ago, I had this conversation with Cam. It went like this:

    Me: How many kids should we have?
    Cam: Enough for an offensive line.. so five. All boys. I want to look down at them playing football and see the backs of their jerseys say “Camera, Camera, Camera, Camera, Camera.”
    Me: Well how many do I have to have at a time, then!?
    Cam: Just twins and triplets.

    We’ll see how long that idea lasts. 

    Post # 74
    Member
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We both decided to have at least one. We may change our minds and have a second down the road, but for for now we’re happy having one. We have no interest in having a baby for another 5-7 years.

    Post # 75
    Bee
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012 - El Faro Convention center, Aguadilla, Puerto Rico

    I was swepted off my feet before we started dating when at 18, I asked Mr. Boa what he wanted to be when he grew up, his answer was “The Best Dad in the World”. I loved that parenthood was as important to him, as it was to me! We had originally discussed having 3-4 kids but the past year has really opened up our eyes to the kind of life and experiences (and the expenses associeted ) we’d like to offer our child, while still being able to nurture both our careers, which has put us in the one and done camp.

    We were lucky enough to find each other early in life and have already been together for 6 years, so we agree on wanting to be parents sooner rather than later. We discussed what should go on our Pre-Baby Bucket List,which includes getting in shape and having X amount in savings before addding a baby to the mix and we started working towards those goals. We plan to start TTC 2-3 years after the wedding, sometime in 2015, making us somewhere between 25-26 years old. Baby fever is rampant in the Boa household, some days we can’t imagine waiting another year to start TTC but other times we feel pushing the date back and enjoying the time for just us.

    Post # 76
    Member
    3246 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I think we both want 2. That won’t happen until after I’m 30, as we probably won’t be married for anothe couple years, and I would like a couple of years of marriage with just the two of us. We can’t wait too long, though, because he is older than me and doesn’t want to be getting “old” (as he says, 55+, even though that isn’t super old!) when we have teenagers. And I won’t wait much after 30, as my mother had terrible issues conceiving in her 30’s (I’m an only child, born when she was 35), and I would rather avoid that struggle if I can. Oh, and around 30 is also when my IUD will have to come out, so hopefully we’ll be ready by then! If we aren’t, I’ll get another one right away, but I have a bit of baby fever now so I don’t think starting in 3 or 4 years will be a problem.

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