(Closed) The Buzz: When will you have kids and how many will you have?

posted 6 years ago in Weddingbee
  • poll: How many kids do you and your SO want?
    None : (30 votes)
    10 %
    One : (31 votes)
    11 %
    Two : (112 votes)
    38 %
    Three : (60 votes)
    21 %
    Four or more : (16 votes)
    5 %
    We haven't decided yet. : (21 votes)
    7 %
    We want children but we aren't sure/don't care how many. : (18 votes)
    6 %
    Other (please explain) : (3 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 77
    1835 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

    We had the kids talk within the first few months of dating. My husband and I both love kids and starting a family together is something we’ve been looking forward to for ages.

    Early on, we talked about having two kids. But now that we spend so much time around my husband’s huge family, we’re starting to think three or four kids could be really fun. We’re planning on starting a family in a few years when we are finished with grad school, so we’ll see how we feel about it once the time comes! I don’t think it’s vital to agree on how many kids you hope to have early on in the relationship, but it’s worthwhile to broach the kids subject before you get engaged and commit to spend your lives together.

    Post # 78
    1835 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

    double post, sorry!



    Post # 79
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Mr. S and I had known each other for six years before we started dating, so he knew going in that I had really bad baby fever.  The timeline we’ve discussed is getting engaged within the next year, getting married next year or the year after, and then TTC either immediately or within 1-2 years after that.  So we are probably looking at 2-4 years for our first baby.  We are 26 and 28 currently.  I was pretty set on wanting four kids, two bio and two adopted, already.  Luckily, Mr. S is all on board for that plan, although I know he thought 2-3 kids before me.  I know that sometimes your plans don’t work out the way you expected, so we will see what we end up with.  I have a medical condition that makes miscarriage more common, so that may be a reason why our plans change.  I was told in HS that I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant, so that’s when I fell in love with the idea of adoption.  My doctor now thinks that I will be able to, so we will see, but I still want to adopt regardless.  Also, I’d love to have twins, but it’s probably not likely.

    We are also open to adopting older siblings later on, after our kids are out of the house, but that’s too far down the road to decide now.  I like the idea though, because there are so many families of children that need homes too and we would have the parenting experience by then to hopefully be able to deal with the issues that are more common with older children in the foster system.

    I know we would be thrilled with any number of kids though, bio or adopted, as long as they are our kids.

    Post # 80
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Wow, that was longer than I realized >_<

    Post # 81
    1019 posts
    Bumble bee

    DBF and I are unsure if we want children, but our desire for kids goes in phases. We might want one or two one month, and none the next. If we do have children, we will have no more than two biological children. I’d be open to adopting one more, though.

    Since I’m 19 and DBF is 18, we thankfully have tons of time to figure out what we want. We do both agree, however, that we shouldn’t try to get pregnant right after we get married. At that point, we’ll still be young (at this point, I can’t see us marrying any later than 25 for me and 24 for him – we already discuss and dream of marriage a lot) and he wants some time where he’s just my husband and I’m just his wife before adding kids into the mix. 


    Post # 82
    1311 posts
    Bumble bee

    I want 2 and SO wants 3+… So I said that we’ll start off with 2 and, if all is well and he does a phenomenal job of convincing/bribing me, we may have #3. ๐Ÿ˜›

    Post # 83
    8146 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We are still talking about the when! Possibly next year. We want at least 2, but if we have 2 of one gender, then we might try for a third.  ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 84
    6117 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    How did you decide when to have kids and how many to have? Take the poll and let us know in the comments below how you and your SO came to your decision!

    We are not having kids.  Neither of us have any desire to be parents, which I think is the #1 requirement if you’re going to have kids!  I always say I was not born with the mother gene.

    Post # 85
    453 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014 - Philadelphia, PA

    We want 2 kids.  We both are one of two and think that it’ll be a nice balance.  We’ve decided to enjoy being married for 1.5-2 years before TTC.  This way we’ll be able to travel, explore the world, cross some things off our respective bucket lists, and save up before starting our family.

    Post # 86
    885 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I would prefer only one, and unless there is an accident, we wont TTC until 2016, at which point we will have been together 10 years and married for more than 7. 

    Post # 87
    1150 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Either 0 or 2. We’re leaning towards not having kids, so that’s how I voted. It’s something that we’ve discussed many times over the course of our relationship and we are very much on the same page about it. 

    Post # 88
    1531 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We started TTC right after our wedding (I’m 26 DH is 31).  We decided on 2 or 3 kids.  If we have 2 of the same gender we will try again for the opposite gender – but no more than 3 kids!

    Post # 89
    23593 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    This has been a point of contention for us, but not in the way that one would usually imagine.  DH has always known that he wanted 2 kids, and he wanted them both before we turned 30.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t quite ready – it’s just recently (in the last year) that I’ve just started thinking about having kids.  So, I am a work in progress over here, but stay tuned! ๐Ÿ™‚

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