(Closed) The Case of the Assuming Bridesmaid

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

OMG! that stinks! and sounds like something i would do!!  the only suggestion I can think of is for you to say that when you said you wanted her to be part of the wedding party, you meant that you would like for her to do a reading (or something similar), and that you’re sorry if she assumed you meant that she would be a bridesmaid but actually because she has such a lovely voice/knowledge of poems/pick some other nice thing about her/  you really want her to do a reading/sing a song/help you with your makeup that day/whatever.

would you be ok with her being involved in some way just not as a bridesmaid? surely there must be something she can do? good luck!

Post # 4
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would suggest making her a Hostess. She can still have a part in the activities and be apart of your day.


Post # 5
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with Londongal. Break it to her with another task. Even if you were drunk, there was a part of you that really thought you might want to include her in your wedding some day.

People should NEVER assume though. I am not a fan to say the least.

All you can do is hope that she will understand and move forward

Post # 6
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have one of those. A friend who I’ve only known for about 6 months. She’s a lovely girl but I don’t know her that well and there are other people I’d add to the bridal party before her. 

She keeps trying to get involved with my decisions which is the thing I find most frustrating. She’s organised a makeup trial for me, offered to get her mum to make favours for me, etc. It’s very nice but I’m a control freak at the best of times and I want to be deciding on this sort of thing! 

I had to make it very clear that I am only having one bridesmaid and it was a done deal so there were no arguments to be had. It’s rude to assume anything in life, let alone something this big, so she is being rude. I would tell her who the bridesmaids will be, maybe just conversationally, and hope she takes the hint? 

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