Post # 1
My sort of now fiance and I have spoken about getting married and living together and kids very early in our long distance relationship. The first 3 years were amazing and then things started to become uncomfortable he didn’t wona move here and making excuses why we can’t live together there yet along side a few other things.. After another few months I learnt that this whole time he had another gf of 6 years (who I had met many times when I stayed at his! Him telling each of us the other was a long family friend who was more like a sister to him) who he didn’t want to be with but when ever he ended it she would attempt to take her life guilting him into staying. Over the last 7 months he claims (we have been together just over 4 years) he’s apparently left her and been working towards winning me back with continuous harassment – if I didn’t love this guy I’d go to the police.. I know how messed up this is. I decided last month to visit him and we got back together starting over. Only he sort of proposed last week when we were face timing and then sent me a message with the receipt order confirmation and put a heart emoji over the price tag. So I went onto the site (I know I shouldn’t) and he had litterally bought the cheapest ring. 9ct gold cubic zirconia and super tacky and huge nothing like any of the dainty pretty white gold diamond rings id shown him and told him I’d love a small simple white gold with real diamond. He already said many times how our wedding will be registry with a few friends at best because he doesn’t like weddings and begrudges wasting money especially on food and drink for guests and especially if I want a nice house together.. I guess it always upset me but with my anxieties I hadn’t even planned a big wedding anyways.. I have a small family and close network of friends so I guess it’s more his stupidly huge family he is more talking about but his argument was he wanted to marry me not put on a show for people who half of them we rarely see from one year to the next at best. So ok fair enough. But I feel this ring is supposed to be winning me back, proving to me how important I am to him and that he wants me and just me. But I’m so upset he litterally picked the cheapest gold £50 ring on the site. When he makes between £100-3000 a week, oh yes he is well off though its never been about the money until now. I don’t know if I’m pinning my relationship anxieties on this ring. My last engagement ring was a sterling silver heart shaped pink sapphire which I’d purchased myself second hand for £30 on ebay and the bf stole to propose until he afford a diamond and he as a barman with debts couldn’t afford but I loved it more.. Until he cheated anyways. But what do I do. He hasn’t actually presented me with this gaudy ring yet in person and I’m supposed to be thrilled but I’m just so upset.. He has money (or at least he tells me he does) but he doesn’t like spending money (outside of season tickets and collectable figures)… He has never actually bought me anything before….. But I have my own money so guess I never needed him too.
What would you do if your man got you the cheapest fake diamond ring he could find?? Xx
Post # 2
missvickyd : Vicky, this sounds like a very difficult relationship. It sounds like he has broken your heart and you need to talk face to face and see if he is really serious about marriage. Don’t let him waste your time, if he’s not treating you with respect then run for the hills.
Post # 3
It doesn’t matter if he spent 10k on the ring, you should still run for the hills! He doesn’t plan on marrying you, he probably hasn’t broken up with the girl that he had been with for 7 years and probably lived with by the sounds of it! You are the side chick here, it’s time to move on from this guy.
Post # 4
He cheats, he lies, he’s cheap (with you but not himself), and he ignores your wishes–funny thing–I think you should dump him.
Post # 5
I fully stand by the cost not mattering, but the thought, love, and effort put into buying a ring.
However, I feel he just bought a cheap ring to hook you back in this dramatic relationship.
Did he really break up with the other woman? Did she really guilt him into staying, or is that just what he is telling you? He could be buying her a cheap ring and telling her the exact same thing.
I agree with the previous posters, cut ties and don’t look back. The dude is bad news.
Post # 6
Dear OP, you are not seriously contemplating marrying this man are you !!?? A man who is capablee of this sort of deception
<em style=”background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 11px; min-height: 0px;”>” I learnt that this whole time he had another gf of 6 years (who I had met many times when I stayed at his! Him telling each of us the other was a long family friend who was more like a sister to him) who he didn’t want to be with but when ever he ended it she would attempt to take her life guilting him into staying” . is not, imho ,capable of redemption , as evidenced by all the other stuff including the ring .
Dont let yourself get involved with these types, he is not the first by your own admission. Value yourself more highly, there will be someone loving and kind and honest for you , but this one is definitely NOT him.
Post # 7
This isn’t about the cheap ring– it’s about him being a lying a-hole! He’s been with this other woman for 6 years and lied straight to both of your faces. Dump his arse.
Post # 8
This man is garbage. Even if he bought you a 10 grand ring, you should run! Why would you even want to marry someone who literally two-timed you and another woman, for years?!!
Post # 9
Just get rid of him. This moron is not even worth my time to type out all the reasons. You already know you should get rid of him.
Post # 10
The ring is not the issue here!
Post # 11
You deserve so much more…and I don’t mean the ring 😣
Post # 12
missvickyd : I am not even going to touch the amount spent on the ring issue. Why on earth do you want to marry someone who has been cheating on you the entire length of your relationship? Do you have no self esteem? You sound so desperate to get the ring and get married you are ignoring the fact that he is a total scumbag.
Post # 13
He wants a small courthouse wedding because he still has the other girlfriend. I also doubt that would ever happen.
Post # 14
. . . if I didn’t love the guy I’d go to the police.
Let’s see, should you call the police? Or should you marry the guy? Tough call. Sounds a little like Stockholm Syndrome.
Bee, what has happened to you in this life that compels you to spend three minutes on a guy like this? An emotionally healthy woman would run screaming the other way. And probably have pepper sprayed him for emphasis.
This guy is awful. Sticking with him is signing yourself up for nonstop drama and heartache. By the time he’s done with you, you’re not going to recognize yourself.
Have you considered therapy, Bee? There are reasons that you are drawn to and tolerate a jerk like this. Get to the bottom of that and stop hurting yourself so much.
Post # 15
missvickyd : I stopped reading after you told us about him cheating/deceiving you and another woman for AT LEAST 3 whole years—who knows how long he’d actually been lying to the other girl. This guy sounds like scum and if you let him buy you with a pretty, sparkly ring, it’ll be the worst mistake of your entire life.
Why do you think that this is okay? You sound completely unphased by the deceit for 3 entire years…it is concerning and points to the fact that you may want to consider therapy :/