Post # 16
So many red flags. I really think you should cut this guy loose. The issue of him cheating just goes without saying, but the fact that you’ve been together 4 years and he’s NEVER bought you anything is very telling. If he is not willing to invest in you and your relationship, then its not worth it imo.
Post # 17
Bee, do the math here. He’s been cheating on you for 3/4’s of your relationship!!! It wasn’t a one night, small indiscretion… he has knowingly been deceiving you for THREE YEARS, and it probably would have been longer if you didn’t find out!
Would a 10,000$ ring make up for that?!
You need to get your priorities straight. Cut contact with him and maybe look into therapy for why you even need to think twice about staying with someone who quite obviously doesn’t love you.
Post # 18
- Wedding: December 2018 - City, State
I am very concerned about the comment about you would call the police….
then there’s the long term cheating? He is the father too? He is doing the bare minimum…. I think you are definitely dealing with concerns and pinning it on the ring – although just another example of him ignoring you and doing his own thing..
Post # 19
Oof, yeah you need to peace out.
Post # 20
- Wedding: September 2018 - City, State
missvickyd : You deserve to be someone’s world, not a creeper’s sidepiece. The cheapness of the ring isn’t the problem – although it is proof that he’s not really “invested,” because he’s going to hold onto it and string you along forever – the problem is that he’s a lying, terrible asshole. He’s not sorry he did this to you, he’s sorry he got busted. I’m a huge fan of small weddings (I’m having one!), but I suspect he’s talking one up now so he can continue to hide you from his girlfriends. Yes, there could be more than one!
Post # 21
It completely grosses me out that you would call him even your sort of fiance.
Find yourself somebody who will appreciate and not lie to you. And get counseling…. it’s not healthy to love a guy who treats you like this.
Post # 22
Is this a joke? This guy sounds like the big scum bag ever. This has got to be a joke.
Post # 23
So he’s winning you back with harassment? That’s all you need to know. OP, you have a seriously skewed vision of what a relationship should look like. The question is why are you tolerating this? Forget the ring (although we can add another quality to his sterling characteristics: cheap), do you even trust this guy?
Everyone is going to tell you to leave the worthless bum, but you won’t do that until you learn to value yourself.
Post # 24
You dated a garbage human being. And now you’re surprised when they act like garbage and they treat you like garbage? Ok.
If it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck, it’s a duck. Congratulations on your garbage relationship and engagement.
Post # 25
Agreeing with everything PPs said. How has it not occured to you that he has made so many excuses about moving with you because he’s with HER!? He can’t leave her because she actually lives where he does if not with him and that’s his real relationship you are the side piece. That is why he didn’t buy you a really nice ring because this is phony. I can’t believe your post is actually about a ring. You should be running for the hills. I’m speculating and could be wrong but I’m going to guess that there is something you are specifically supplying for him which is why he is doing bare minimum to keep you on a string while he lives his life with his girlfriend. Sex? Monetary gifts? He’s never bought you anything. What kind of relationship is this? You sound desperate.
Post # 26
Of course he thinks he can buy you the cheapest ring he can find. You already let him know he could keep a whole other girlfriend and tell you lies about her and tell her lies about you and you would take him back.
Your heart might think you love him but I’m wondering how you could love someone else more than you seem to love yourself.
Your brain needs to come online and recognize that, love or not, this is NOT someone who is beneficial to your life and well being. Your heart wants him but sometimes your brain has to say “Look, I’m running this. Shut up, heart.”
If you can’t see that, you might want to think about getting some therapy before you agree to marriage. Tell yourself it’s so that you can be better prepared to be a wife.
Post # 27
I’d dump & block him asap.
Post # 28
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
Do you think for a second this guy has actually broken up with the other chick? Why do you think you deserve a guy like that?
I married a guy like this… We dated for 5.5 years before getting married. I thought I’d done my homework and knew what kind of man I was marrying. I ignored a lot of red flags and made a lot fo excuses for him “he’s not very social”, “he works a lot and is really tired”, “he’s a private person”. NO. He was a liar, a cheater, and a manipulative asshole. I would give my right arm to know then what I know now.
You DO know then what I know now and you’re still considering a relationship with him. DO NOT willingly sign up for a lifetime of being cheated on and treated poorly. He’s already manipulating you and love-bombing you to try and convince you to stay. He has some nerve pursuing you after you found out that he had been cheating the entire duration of your relationship. He’s really got you pegged… do you really want to be this person? Do you really want to marry a man who intentionally lied and cheated on you since you’ve known him?
I would bet money on the fact that he sent the same photo to his other girlfriend/sort-of-fiance.
I’m sorry bee. you need to dump this piece of garbage and find yourself a real man.