Post # 1
Member
23 posts
Newbee
Ok so here is the deal. I wanted to have our ceremony at my church… the church I grew up in and had all my sacraments. . . (as a Catholic). But my mom had said maybe I should just do it at the church we go to now since we are already registered there.
So I had an appointment to see the Father at my parents church (to book our wedding date) and the appointment is on Nov. 2nd. Last week they called and said we had to change the appoiontment date to Dec. 2nd. (a whole month later!!!) Of course every bride wants the date finally set, so now I have to wait an extra long month. I finally came to the conclusion that I did not have any other choice so just live with it. I called today to ask about the classes my fiancé has to take in order to have his first communion (which his mother CLEARLY forgot he NEEDED as a catholic) and they tell me that he missed his first class…. Well how could he miss it if we never got a phone call advising us when the class was 😮 then she decides to tell me that our date to see the father might change again. Not to mention, they take FOREVER to get back to us.. if even!! AND not to mention she respondes with ATTITUDE!!!
I’m going CRAZY!!!!!
I’m starting to get the feeling that I should go with MY church. They have everything we want, including appointments in the evening times where we don’t have to miss work! And it’s more convenient because it’s 5 minutes away from my house! They actually called me back on time, and the Father himself had called me.
What do you all think I should do? Go with my first feeling as to going with my church?? PLEASE HELP ME!!!
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper
This is a tough one! It depends on how attached you are to getting married in the church you grew up in. I really wanted that, so it wasn’t really a choice for me. Luckily, my church was very accommodating.
If you’re ok not getting married in the church you grew up in, and you’re starting to really establish yourself with the church you attend now, then I would go with them! They sound much more accommodating and willing to help you through everything.
Post # 4
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
It sounds like the problem is with the secretary.
Regardless of her “issues”, you can schedule your husband’s confirmation class at your own parish right now. Technically, you don’t need a class for first communion, you just meet with the priest, make a valid confession, then receive the Eucharist. The reason you have to be a certain age to receive first communion is because you need to have reached the age of reason to perform a valid confession (and be in a state of grace which is a prerequisite to receive the Eucharist).
As for “where to get married”, one option is to perform all of the premarital work at your own parish, then get married at your parent’s church. You can even bring your own priest if he’s willing. If people ask why you’re doing that (particularly if the churches are nearby), explain that you need the evening meeting times for meetings and that you’d like to be married by your own priest.
Post # 5
Member
23 posts
Newbee
That’s something to think about.
Thanks girls =)
much love XOX
Post # 6
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
I would go to the church you prefer. It’s your wedding you should be comfortable.
Post # 8
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
Snarky secretaries stink! I would go with the church you’re currently registered at. Although it would be nice to go to the church you grew up in, setting it up might be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, at your new church you will be creating new traditions of your married life together. Good luck!
Post # 9
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
Am I missing something? It’s the church she’s registered with that is giving her the hard time. Go with your home church. Not only are they more accomodating, but I’m sure deep down it has some sentimental value as well.
Good Luck
Post # 10
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
@Ms.Shamrock: The way I read it “So I had an appointment to see the Father at my parents church…” it sounds like it’s the parent’s church that’s giving her the run around.
Post # 11
Member
23 posts
Newbee
Yes, my parent’s church (which is the church they are registered at) is the one giving me the hard time. I originally wanted to go with my church that I grew up in. However, my mom had said to just go to the one that they are all ready registered at… and that’s the one giving me problems. So I wanted an opinion on if I should stay with them anyway, or just go with the church i grew up in (they aren’t giving me a hard time at all) .. plus i have so many childhood memories with that church.
Post # 12
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper
We had our Dirty Delete baptized at the church I grew up in (in a different state) rather than the church I’m registered at. I think you should go with whichever church makes you feel more included. I hate when churches get elitest. The same rules apply to ALL why do SOME feel the need to add extra stress?
Post # 13
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
So the church you grew up in, the one you wanted to get married in to begin with, the one that’s five minutes away, the one that has convenient class times, vs… What exactly does hard-to-work-with church have to offer? Is there even a decision here? Tell your parents how much easier to work with the church you grew up in is. Shouldn’t be an issue.
Post # 14
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
@hiswifey27: You don’t have to be registered at a church to get married there. However, they sometimes charge more if you’re not registered.
Post # 15
Member
23 posts
Newbee
Thanks for the feed back ladies!!
@MightySapphire ; I agree with everything you say! I don’t know why some of them have to be so extra!!!
@cyneswith ; the issue was we orignally wanted our mass to be in Portuguese, and my church doesn’t offer it there. But my parents church is Portuguese, but they were giving us to much trouble, so FH & I talked it out and we realized what was best and easier for us. We have decided that we are going with my church that I grew up in, and just have the english mass. It works out much better for us. Thanks for your input!!
@CoffeeHound ; We have to regesture ourselves at a church in order to get married. Thats the first thing they ask, is if we are regestured with them. I guess every church is different. Thanks for the advice to hun!
XOX
Member