(Closed) The Church says contraception is NOT ok…do you agree?

posted 10 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well, you can always practice the Natural Family Planning method they teach you.   I know what you mean and we are open to kids if they happen, but we are taking some personal precautions so we can have kids a little more when we actually want.  So, if those super sperm can get through the condom, then we were just meant to be parents now because apparently it’s God’s plan!  I hate to say it, but I just don’t agree with their reasoning.  Glad for the people who do, though, to each his own, it’s a free country!

Post # 5
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Im not catholic, im christian so I dont think there is anything wrong with contraception. I think that if you save sex untill marriage, and you know you do eventually want children (because I believe children and marriage GO together) then making it slightly more convenient for yourself isnt going to offend God. If God intends for you to have children at a certain time, no contraceptive is going to stop it 🙂

Post # 6
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ahhh this is such a touchy issue for people who really value living by the Church’s teachings! It’s actually one of the few things the Catholic Church says that I don’t completely agree with, and I’m glad you brought it up b/c I’m looking forward to reading other brides’ responses. 

I just feel like it makes more sense to have children when you can fully provide for them, rather than bringing them into a world that is unstable. I feel like the Church calls you as a mother to provide for your children as best as you can, and for me that includes waiting to conceive them until I’m completely prepared to take care of them. Luckily, my Fiance feels the same way as me about this, but it does bother us that many Catholics believe that the way we’ll be doing it is wrong.

Of course, it could be argued that NFP is a perfectly fine way to accomplish all those things, but personally I don’t see a significant difference between NFP and birth control/condoms (I know a lot of people do see a big difference, and I can see why you do, but I just don’t feel that way).

It is important to me that we be "open to the idea of starting a family," so my Fiance and I will be frequently discussing/considering stopping the birth control, and when we feel like God is calling us to do so, we will.

Post # 8
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Holy Family Catholic Church, reception: National Infantry Museum

I have to be honest, without birth control, I’d probably have 4 kids right now.  Even on the pill, I still make him use a raincoat!  My mother got preggers twice on birth control and using condoms, and Mini was conceived while I was on birth control.  I understand the churches teachings, but they just aren’t practical to me.  And it’s usually the first thing out of my mouth in confession.  My priest expects it of me now. 

Post # 9
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I really recommend getting a copy of the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" so you can learn how to time intercourse to avoid pregnancy. It’s a lot to learn at first but the benefits in terms of learning about your body are wonderful! If you are dilligent and careful about charting, you should be able to postpone pregnancy until you and your husband are ready.

Post # 10
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

"Natural Family Planning" hah.  Yeah right.  Scientists have discovered that women ovulate more than once per month (and sometimes more than one egg per time).  Some women ovulate continuously, which is why they can get pregnant on their period.  My roommate did the NFP method, and it didn’t work.  Like she got pregnant…her first time ever…on her honeymoon!  You can’t work around "magic dates" because you just don’t know.  Go with the next best thing to contraception: coitus interuptus.  At least he can’t argue that you’re using anything!

Post # 11
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I come from a very devoted Catholic family.  They dutifully followed church teaching for a long time, but with many kids and little money there comes a time when you have to make some tough choices. 

NFP can be somewhat effective, but it is not foolproof (better if your cycle is regular).  However, I believe that until men have to carry, deliver and take care of the children, they have to respect the wishes of their partner in this matter.

I don’t think it is God’s will for millions of innocent people to get AIDS in Africa, and as we know, condoms are incredibly effective at eliminating the spread of AIDS.  Here’s a nice article by a Catholic physician in a Catholic news source.

http://www.catholic.org/international/international_story.php?id=19561&page=1

I think as long as there is vigorous debate in the church (which there is) then we have to decide for ourselves what is right for us at the time.  Even the pope has been re-evaluating the church’s stance on condom use to prevent the spread of AIDS in the ast year.  Many bishops and Catholic thinkers disagree with the pope’s stance, and as we know, the church is slow to change… but I and many others think that it will. 

In light of all that, I don’t see anything wrong with using condoms for a year or two until you are ready for a family. 

Post # 12
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I am so excited you brought this up! Regardless of whether you believe contraception is okay or not, I want to toot the horn of natural family planning (NFP). Personally, I understand the church’s teachings, but I follow them not because I believe contraception is evil (I don’t) but because, having used both, I think NFP is so much better.   

My husband and I are using the sympto-thermal method (STM) of NFP with success. We decided to try NFP in part because of the Church’s teaching but mostly because I do not tolerate hormonal bc well AT ALL. I have been on myriad different kinds of pills, and the ring, and I dislike the way it makes me feel, the cost, and the environmental impact. We thought about condoms but my husband doesn’t like them and I don’t think they are effective enough when used alone.

NFP allows you to postpone having children until you are ready to take care of them and not have more than you can handle. When used correctly (which is NOT difficult), the STM is as effective as the contraceptive pill and more effective than condoms at preventing pregnancy (so, not totally perfect, but pretty close). If you would like some current, well-done research about STM effectiveness in particular, check out a big study published in the major reproductive sciences journal in Europe, Human Reproduction Today. This article talks about the findings.

Yes, it requires some abstinence if you don’t want kids (for me this is 10-11 days). An unexpected benefit for me was that it keeps you looking forward to sex—it’s like another honeymoon, every month. During the abstinent times you connect in ways other than sex; my husband gives me backrubs and I give him footrubs. Mmm, backrubs. Some couples do use condoms or diaphragms etc during the fertile window, which you could do too if you want to try NFP out but you’re not totally sure you can handle the abstinence aspect.

It takes a few months to really feel confident in using it. It doesn’t matter if you are regular, because it’s a real-time system. It does take diligence, self-control, and cooperation though. But it’s not difficult to understand or implement. It’s taught to women in third-world countries who do not have access to contraception as a way to help them plan their families, with great success.

Taking Charge of Your Fertility, by Toni Wechsler, and Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition, by Marilyn Shannon, are excellent books on the subject as well. If you want to talk more about it but in private, please pm me and I will email you or call you. I hope maybe some of you will be more interested in NFP now. 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

@MightSapphire, I don’t know what your roommate was doing, but I don’t think she was doing it right.

As to multiple ovulations, most women ovulate once per month (mid-cycle). When women ovulate more than once a month (like in the case of fraternal twins), the two ovulations happen within 24 hours of each other 99% of the time. The STM NFP method (which is the only one I know) takes this possibility into account when calculating safe and non-safe days. It’s got nothing to do with magic.

Can you get pregnant on your period? Yes, you can. But, it’s unlikely (not exactly the most friendly environment, is it), and you can calculate your personal likelihood on the basis of your own past cycle history. Then, with those data, you can decide whether it’s prudent for you to have sex on your period. For most women with cycles 26 days or longer (where your period start is day 1) it will be fine to have sex up until at least day 5 or 6.

The whole method is tailored to your body in real time, with supporting information from how it has been in the past. It teaches you how to read your body and from that you know how likely you are to become pregnant. For someone who ovulates continuously, I do not think the NFP signs would be readable, and so it would not be the right method for someone like that.

Post # 14
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

If getting pregnant on your honeymoon is not something you’re a fan of, take control. I’m Catholic and this is one of those things that really gets under my skin.

Communicate your concerns to your fiance. You have financial concerns. Those are legitimate. And are the medical reasons for which you were originally on birth control gone?

Perhaps you should tell your fiance that unless he’s never masturbated in his life (and thus "wasted" those precious sperm), he really has no ground here. This is your life too.

Post # 15
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@diorable: Good point to make to him about "wasting" his sperm!

Post # 16
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Chelseamorning, I’ll join you in tooting NFP’s horn! We’ve been very sucessful with it and I love love love knowing EXACTLY what’s going on with my body. It’s also brought us closer as a couple. Is it always easy to abstain? No. But it’s easier knowing we’re in it together, you know?

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