(Closed) The cliche B list

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

I’m personally okay with B-lists, but I would at least send them a paper invite. Michael’s has some invite kits that you can get for relatively cheap I think if you don’t want to re-order your originals. 

Post # 4
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Send out the invites. Even if it’s too late, it will make them feel more wanted than an email. I don’t think a B-list is tacky, it’s generous of you to invite more people rather than choose to save that money. If I was on someone’s B list, I would appreciate the invite. After all, they already know they weren’t on the A list. 

Post # 5
Member
2216 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We called/texted our B-listers first and then told them the invite was in the mail. 

Post # 6
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

I would rather not be invited, and would decline an invitation that I thought I was B-listed.

Part of the reason for so many declines may be that you made people decide too early, so if you aren’t sure you decline.

I wouldn’t do a B-list.  Enjoy your 45 guests and either do something extra special for them, that you wouldn’t have had the budget for, or do something extra jazzy on your honeymoon.

Post # 7
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

In your case, I would probably attend even if I thought I was B-listed.  I would assume that your small guest list was made up of family and a few very close friends, so unless I thought we were really tight, I wouldn’t be offended to have not made the initial list. 

I would definitely prefer a paper invitation, however.

Post # 8
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have happily accepted B List invitations in the past, so I would absolutely send out paper invitations asap.  You can still get them in the mail 5 weeks ahead, which would allow for a 3 week turnaround time for an RSVP date 2 weeks before your wedding.

Post # 9
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

If you send them this weekend, people will have 5 weeks notice. It’s close, but still acceptable.

If you want to send an email, I sent this to one couple. They couldn’t attend, but appreciated the invite- 

“Hi! As you know, Mike and my’s big day is coming up- Friday July 13th. Due to our budget (my being unemployed put a damper on things), we had to keep our numbers down. We limited the number of invites each family had and the number of friends we could invite. I’ve had family decline, so I’m able to invite a few more friends. I would love it if you two would be able to join us- it would great to celebrate this with you. I know this is short notice, but I wanted to extend the invite to you both, and I hope that you can attend.

love,

Rebwana”

 

Post # 10
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a B-list invite. I do, however, think there’s something wrong with an overly explanatory, apologetic approach to said invite. I would argue most folks only have a clue they’ve been B-listed if you indicate that. So don’t!

@Ms-Lace:  Also, personally, I would evaluate whether I can attend a wedding based upon whether I am available/want to attend, not on which letter list I reside.

 

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