Post # 1
When my moms parents died she took custody of her 10 year old brother who was MR. That same year I was born. Technically Dana was my Uncle (and darn proud of it!) but in retrospect he was really more of a brother. When I was 16 he died suddenly of an accident caused by his seizures. The closer I get to the wedding the more I realize he isn’t here. He was going to play a major role in my wedding one day and not having him physically there makes it hard. When the Rabbi asked us if we wanted to have a moment of silence for those members of our family who weren’t able to be with us I immediatly thought about Dana and started to cry. Mr. Shef was really close to his grandmother and wanted it in rememberance of her but understanding how upset that would make me because of Dana he agreed not to do it. I want my wedding day to be full of joyful tears. Not painful ones. Even still… I miss him and HATE that I can’t share that day with him. I can picture the huge smile he would have had and know he would have been so proud to be standing up at the alter with us.
Thank you for letting me get that out.
Post # 3
I will be having my wedding without my father, so I understand how you feel about someone very dear to you not being present. I was always afraid to get married because I knew that one of the people I wanted there the most, wouldn’t be there. I’ve spent some nights, when I was all alone and trying to busy myself with wedding planning, in tears. I’ve often wondered if I’m really going to be able to do this without my dad.
I felt the same way about my high school graduation. I didn’t want to take part in it because it didn’t feel as special without him.
I’m sure that I am going to absolutely bawl my eyes out at the wedding, seeing that empty seat where my dad should be sitting after he gives me away. I’m almost in tears just thinking about how, despite the happiness of the occasion, there will still be a little bit of emptiness there.
All I know is that, I am his child, so I am a part of him, just like he is a part of me, and he will be there with me anyway. Just like Dana will be there with you because he was a part of your family.
I know, it sounds really cliche, but that’s really the only thing that’s been getting me through all of this wedding stuff.
Post # 4
I’m sorry for your loss. It is definitely hard to have to deal with grief from a loved one passing. My best friends father passed away months before her destination wedding, but they did a nice tribute to him.