(Closed) The controversial “monetary gifts preferred”

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

You can mention it on your website, or try to have your bridal party and family convey it by word of mouth….and it is bad etiquette to mention it on your invites as per ALL the etiquette books out there.

 

By the way, you live in Placencia, Belize and I live in Placentia, California!

Thats kind of cool 🙂

Post # 4
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Hmm….What do people do for gifts normally for destination weddings?  I’d imagine you would do the same thing.  Is there any sort of store near you where you can set up a wish list?  It wouldn’t be a fancy registry like at Macy’s where you can check it online, but it would be an option for people who would like to give a gift, and since they’d be buying it in Belize there’s no extra lugging involved.

Post # 5
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

If it is the norm where you are from, then you may want to follow that.  Otherwise, you can say something like registry information included on website (when you are asked).  The reason people don’t include it on the invites is because it’s like telling a guest they’ll have to bring a gift and that’s consider improper etiquette.

Post # 6
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I would do what is normally expected in your country. If you have never received an invite that DIDN’T say monetary gifts preferred, then I wouldn’t worry about it. If there is no good place for people to register in your country, then the people coming will know. For people coming from other countries, I would bet they would give you money anyway since it would be so much easier.

Post # 7
Member
286 posts
Helper bee

Since guests will be traveling from another country I would say put it on the website and word of mouth. You might also want to explain but like others I am sure your guests have thought about they will have to carry a gift around with them. Many of them probably will bring monetary gifts anyway, simply because it is easier.

Post # 8
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Personally, I don’t see a problem but I think that is because I’m only 23. My mom thinks it’s awful.  However I think it’s fair to assume people won’t haul a toaster from the US to Central America.  Maybe put something about not buying you appliances because there are different plugs?  Or you could register at a pay for our honeymoon type site like honeyfund.com.

Post # 9
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would not include it on the invite, but you can use a different type of registry if your goal is to get cash in my opinion.  Similar to us– we’ve combined a honeymoon registry with a wish registry, we’ve listed a bunch of ‘wishes’ like flights, nights at a hotel, dinner with a private chef – our guests contribute to the wishes, and then we’ll be getting cash after the wedding.   

 

Personally I just liked the idea of breaking the list up  into different items, rather than just a big honeymoon fund.  Our list is with http://www.uponourstar.com – there are others out there, but so far it’s been a fun experience!   


Post # 10
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It’s so cute how you posted this under “paper” lol

We put it  out there – word of mouth

Post # 11
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@JennaBride: I gotta say… On Our Star looks awesome! My Fiance and I are saving to buy a house and really, really, really have nowhere to put the traditional “stuff” that folks tend to put on their registries. We have housewares that we make do with (especially since we live with other folks right now), but we don’t want to have to find somewhere to store new things until we have a home together. When we’ve thought about what we want to register for, all we can come up with are books on relationships and healthy marriages and a family Bible. This option looks like it would be great for a mix-and-match sort of registry, where we could add “rooms” like one of the sample registries has, and include a few more traditional gift items for the more traditional folks 🙂

Post # 12
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am attending my cousin’s wedding in May and while browsing his website I noticed that there was no mention of a registry or anything of the sort so I politely asked him what sorts of gifts they accept, and he said anything you want but preferably money – and he jokingly mentioned that weddings are expensive, which I totally agree with. 

The registry idea is mainly an American concept and a lot of other cultures don’t see giving money as a big deal – and neither do I. 

I don’t think you should mention it in the invite but perhaps people will bring it up to you if they are not sure, or if they don’t expect a registry they will bring moolah without asking?

I don’t know if I helped but I have no idea what I will do for my wedding..:(

 

EDIT: I just saw that the last answer was one year ago so this topic is probably over….whoops! lol

 

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