Post # 1
I think the title of this blog and post really shows my initial reaction to the thought of getting married again, to the disbelief that he FINALLY asked me, and to my confidence in the institution. Yet, here I go again. Wiser, stronger, happier, and full-steam ahead!
Mr. Granola and I have been dating for almost 3 years. We have both been married before, and both of us get the hives at the thought of another marriage gone bad. We have no illusions of grandeur. We know the dedication to compromise that a life spent together takes and are still excited.
Now, though, I must plan an intimate non-wedding wedding in less than 4 months. Planning a second wedding holds different, unique issues for me. Here were a few of my initial thoughts:
-We want it to be unique (in ambiance), yet be representative of us.
-We will be inviting people who were at the first weddings. (We want to avoid eye-rolling)
-Mr. Granola really liked his first wedding….me-not so much. (It was beautiful but not representative of who I am now)
-We want it to be VERY small. (So feelings will probably be hurt)
I can feel the drama brewing already, and apparently EVERYONE has an opinion. The attire, the color, “Please, elope”, don’t register, follow the proper etiquette…….
Then, I started searching online and there are whole websites dedicated to it. What are we? The red-headed stepchild of marriages?
Has anyone else planned a second wedding and had these types or other big issues solely because they were getting “re”-married?
Post # 3
I haven’t been married even once, but I know you can navigate this. Your intimate, original wedding will ROCK. Here are some original, non-traditional wedding site sthat will inspire you… although not encore-related- I hope it helps! Follow your gut!
Post # 4
Oh sure, there are a lot of us encore brides on here. I just told people to shove it. I actually didn’t get a wedding for my first one, but it wouldn’t have matter if I had. They could come or not come! 🙂
Post # 5
I’ve only been married once, but this is a great community full of lots of support, and a lot of “who gives a shit that it’s a second wedding. its Your wedding!” We have a great and supportive encore board here where a lot of bees discuss the issues they’re facing with a second wedding. I think your goals are great, and I think you’ll be able to meet them all with as much ease as anyone planning a wedding. Congratulations, and welcome to the hive!
Post # 6
I’m an encore bride too and I totally feel your pain – some days it really does feel like you’re a second class citizen if you’ve been on the bridal carousel before. And our wedding is additionally complicated by the fact that my guy has never been married before… There’s nothing like a combo Encore/1st wedding to put you in a tail-spin.
After about 2 months of constantly feeling like I needed to dial it back and that he shouldn’t have to compromise we just decided to ignore the “rules” – we don’t care what “they” say and “they” aren’t invited to our wedding anyway so why should we care what “they” think? (All of those quotation marks just made me dizzy…)
We’re doing our wedding our way and we’re so excited about it!
Post # 7
My best friend just went through a nasty divorce with an abusive prick. She is now with an amazing man (2 yrs.) that treats her like a princess and loves her so much. I feel that a wedding is a celebration of a couple’s love and commitment to each other, therefore they should feel free to throw a party of their style preference. Do not allow anybody to make you feel like less of a bride because of their own insecurities. I’m really glad you came to WeddingBee there are a ton of supportive ladies on here.
Post # 8
Oh yes! We encore brides are certainly here! And yes- everyone does have an opinion about it- just like they do at first weddings. But now its a new set of things to think about- do you register, can you wear white again, etc. etc. I am actually enjoying the process now more than the first time though- I can do whatever I want and anyone who really cares about me will be happy for me. Good Luck!
Post # 9
I’m an Encore Bride/Wife. We had a beautiful/intimate wedding that in the end we were both happy with. Anything goes anymore for encore weddings, so don’t let people get you down about that. Do what you want.