The "Did I Cheat?" Continuation Thread

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 422
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@kvliner:  It is.  But just like with ‘real life’, there are people who can’t see eye to eye.  It doesn’t make your experience any less important or real. xo

And with that, I am out!  It’s been …. uh….interesting, kittens.

Post # 423
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@pinkzebra:  I hope you never do jury service. This is so screwed up. You think being drunk gives someone the right to forcibly have sex with you?!

Post # 425
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Unless a person consciously agrees to sex, anything else I would consider rape. I don’t care if there was kissing or anything else going on prior. Unless a person agrees to have sex, it is rape!

Post # 427
Member
1086 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This is still going?

 

Wow. What a rise they got out of this.

 

I’m sorry to all who can relate to this thread and to all who were hurt by this thread, even though I didn’t participate, someone who has been there, I know how shaky these topics can be.

Post # 428
Member
4867 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@AnAppleA_Day:  

I’m not getting into it. This whole discussion disgusts me. No one has a say on what a victims experience is except the victim. I’d appreciate it if the rest of you did not involve me in the discussion further. 

Post # 429
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Post # 430
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

I’m a little perurbed by a poster that insinuates that if a person gets drunk and possibly high “They are asking to have sex with someone”. Out of all the times in my life I have drank a little too much never ONCE did I ever think “I’m setting myself up for unwanted/unwarrented sex”. Just because I’m out having a good time with my girls and I flirt with a guy does not mean it is ok for him to continue to force kisses or any other kind of contact on me. That is what I’ve been taught from teachers, from my parents and from other law enforcement professionals when I was younger. No means NO whether you are drunk or sober. And in some states if a person is under the influence of substances and another person is not and those 2 have sex and later the drunk party says they were not ok with it…that is considered rape. It depends on the state though. Just like a 20 year old and a 17 year old are considered statutory rape in some states but not others even if both parties consent.

Post # 431
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

@PinkMermaid:  +1 I should have read your reply before I posted. Well put Toni

Post # 432
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Man, some of you should just stick to wedding and engagement ring talk.

Gobsmacked.

Post # 433
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@PinkMermaid:  +1. This is very well put. I love the example of a prostitute, because it really puts it into perspective that ANYONE can be raped, whether you sell your body or not. It’s a choice, and no means no. 

To me, there’s a very fine line when alcohol/drugs are involved. I know a lot of people that get drunk/high and sleep with someone, then in the morning regret it and say they were raped, when they actually consented at the time. It’s a tough call to some people on what “consenting” is, so I can see how many take advantage of blaming one night stands on rape so they don’t come off as a whore. To me, if you go home with someone and willingly sleep with them, alcohol or not, it shouldn’t be rape. If you go home with them, decide you don’t want to, or are unsure of where you are, who they are, and what you’re doing and they push you to do it anyway, yes, that would be. 

It makes me angry reading some of the earlier posts, and I can see how a lot of bees are offended by the words used. As a victim myself, I’m very sensitive about the topic and have strong feelings on it, but others here seem to generalize and make the situation very black and white, when there is in fact a lot of grey area. I was raped when I was WITH my boyfriend, whom I had been dating and living with (I did not consent, I said no repeatedly and was trying to leave him) and I didn’t receive a lot of support from friends/family since their overall opinion was “you can’t get raped by him, he’s your boyfriend.”

Post # 434
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

Jesus, can we just let this thread die already… Really wish it would have been closed. 

Post # 436
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

@artichokey:  I’ve requested it multiple times through flagging posts… No go. If this kind of thread is what the admins want to have here… The bee may not be for me after all. This is too triggering. and what does it have to do with weddings?!

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