Post # 1
There’s been a lot of talk of strippers and bachelor(ette) parties lately. I just want to get it out there, for the record, I’m pro-stripper. I feel a little like there’s a double standard for guys who go to strip clubs/hire strippers and girls who do. For example, one post dwelled on the impropriety of having a stripper come to a hotel room because of the “expectation.” Another post glosses over the fact that a bee had male strippers at her bachelorette.
I have to say, in this case, I think the double standard is fair because it’s not exactly apples to apples. For one main reason: When girls hire guys to come strip at a party, it’s campy, it’s funny, it’s entertainment. One party I was at had a male stripper for an hour and after 15 minutes we were all like uhhh okay an hour is a really long time, so the guy sat down and ate a sandwich. LOL. It’s not meant to be titillating. It’s NOT titillating, in my opinion. It’s jokey. On the other hand, I’ve been to several gentlemen’s clubs and it’s tawdry and sexy and a little raunchy but overall . . . pretty hot! The thoughts that would go through my mind when an oiled up beefcake is gyrating for dolla bills is a far cry from what thoughts my husband would be having if a lace-undy-wearing tan vixen with double Ds shook her ass in his face.
Does anyone else see what I’m saying? I’m wondering what YOU ladies see as the difference?
Post # 3
@daybyday: I agree. Male strippers, not sexy.
I would, however, compare male stippers to burlesque dancers. Campy, fun, no expectation of sexual gratification, etc. Of course, male strippers still tend to do it for money whereas most burlesque shows are just for fun.
I would never go to a stip club, be upset with Fiance if he went to a strip club, but we’ve gone to burlesque shows together.
Post # 4
Don’t know if it’s an issue of sexy or not. I’m perfectly straight, but I can walk by a naked woman (and I have been to a few strip clubs before with an ex back about 9-10 years ago) and it can be either sexual or sensual or w/e. it depends on how the woman acts. A man with their ding dong out – excited or not – screams sex!! some many find it funny, others may find it offensive….. but I actually don’t really believe in the double standard the way you have presented it.
I just can’t understand why women get upset about their FH just going to a strip club. There’s no difference between looking at porn on the computer and going to a strip club (and if both are rarely or never done, then who cares?)…. whether or not it’s a male or female strip club, touching or behaving inappropriately regardless of it being you or your FH is not appropriate and warrants being upset.
Post # 5
@cmvmph: You think?! I can think of few things less arousing to me than a flacid penis . . . regardless of size. LOL.
Post # 7
I think it depends on the party…some male parties, the strippers are campy in that same way you think all female parties are. In the right mood, I’m sure female parties are equally sexy. If there is a difference it’s likely because women feel awkward about it and thus reduce it to jokes to make the situation more comfortable. I think the same potential for issues lies in either gender party.
I’ve seen one male stripper, at my college sorority. There were about 40 women, celebrating one person (a dancer’s) birthday. The stripper asked out the birthday gal (who declined, had a bf…), so I’m guessing he thought it could be sexy… In this particular case though, the stripper got his face cut on a belt buckle, and the mood was a bit ruined when he started swearing up a storm before the manager persuaded him to return.
Post # 8
@ daybyday I agree with you that male strippers are not sexy at all and most girls just find it as a joke. My friend who got married last year had a stripper at her bacheloertter party and he was brought by her sisters. Lets just say she was extremely uncomfortable with it all and the rest of us just had a good laugh.
I wouldnt get upset if my fiance went to a strip club cause I know he would never touch any of them regardless of how good looking ther were. I feel like so many girls are so woried about strip clubs about strip clubs abd I dont get why. Obviously they trust the guy they are marrying so whats the problem.
Post # 9
That’s the problem. We find it to be a joke while men find it exhilirating to be around a naked women and get turned on by it. It disturbs women to know their men are excited for a lap dance by a naked women among other things. It is what it is.
There’s the problem of people knowing that if you really wanted a little extra more, you could get it if you had the money. It’s a shame it has to be that way though.
Post # 10
@daybyday: I think male strippers are incredibly unattractive–the whole oiled up in a g string thing is just unmasculine I think
Post # 11
@sweetchiquita12: My objection to strip clubs, prostitution, pornography, etc, comes not from my relationships or jealousy, but my objection to the industries and the misogyny therein.
I don’t think any of the above should be illegal, but any partner I would choose would share my views on the marginalization of women that these things create.
Post # 12
The main difference is that female strippers know how to move… and male strippers typically don’t. Its very easy for a female to dance around and look sexy, males just look silly. Speedo underwear is also silly, in comparison to women’s underwear. I suppose men are more visual so it also has more impact for them than it does for women.
I’m personally fine with either… I’ve been to events with both and the people I was with all had a good attitude about it. I’m not morally against them and if its all in good fun, then its fine by me.
Post # 13
@cmvmph: “There’s no difference between looking at porn on the computer and going to a strip club “
Hmm I would say there is a difference, even if you are ok with either.
Porn is not interactive, you are looking at images of sex–a flesh and blood woman is not straddling you
Post # 14
Want to know the difference? I will tell you. Most male strippers are gay. 80-90 percent conservatively. Most female strippers are not gay. Maybe 2 percent tops are gay, 10 percent bi. The biggest difference in how straight women react to a male stripper & how straight men react to one. Women think its kinda funny, don’t take it seriously. How can you take a fake baked dude with highlighted hair and cut off jorts seriously. He’s probably wearing cowboy boots too. Gross. Add to that, he’s most likely gay. Great. Exciting for us. This is fair… Not. The women strippers however many have a sob story of how they wound up working there, many actually have some truth to them. Many want your man to “save” them. Pay their bills.. Etc. some will wind uphaving long term affairs with your man. I have seen it all. Trust me. Many will offer sex. These lap dances often last a hour. They are professionals who will get your man arroused then offer a hand job for a hundred bucks. Don’t even get me started on the strippers that go straight to a hotel room for a private show. These women are hookers. No other way to explain it. That is what they are. Even many strippers who work in clubs, just won’t go there. And the strip clubs in Vegas, sometimes these women may kiss your man, they are allowed to grind on their laps until they ejaculate in their pants, they are allowed to touch their breasts, sometimes for extra $ they tough their vaginas as well. Wake up. Know the truth. This is not some stupid rite of passage, you are not a shrew if you are not ok with this. Don’t be a door Matt. Don’t risk getting a disease. Read this to your man if you have to. Be wise, I found god & got out of those places. It’s no place for your future husband. And by being ok with it, you are also putting all the other men and their wifes & girlfriends in a horrible position. Women need to stick together &protect one another. Let these guys know we respect our selves and this is notacceptable.
Post # 15
i was trying to explain this to someone the other day.
there is NOTHING that i can do that would be the equivalent of my fiance going to a female strip club for his bachelor party. nothing. it’s frustrating.
a guy said “oh well you could get a lap dance with junk in your face.” no… i dont want junk in my face. id actually rather get boobs in my face, but im not a lesbian… so it’s pointless. really.
Post # 16
@September29: I would not tell my Fiance he CANT have a stripper, I just told him if he chooses to have one I want him to know he is choosing to be utterly disrespectful to me. The equivilent of him having a naked chick bump and grind him while he sits in a chiar is me half naked and rubbing my self all over some guy. Would you be cool with that babe? no. I didn’t think so. Her breast in your face, my breast in a strangers face..that to me is apples to apples and ladies, IF that was how girls celebrated their bachlorettes, I think less guys would be down to have one of their own. Am I totally off about the apples to apples thing?