(Closed) The Doctor thinks it's melanoma.

posted 7 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
8723 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK



I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I will be keeping my fingers crossed that it isn’t as bad as your fear. I hope he can have it removed and it isn’t cancer. Be strong for him and stay positive. I know it is hard to think about the what if’s etc, but just focus on the first stage, getting it removed etc.


I am not religous but you have all my positive vibes coming your way.

Hopefully some other bees can give you a bit more advice and comfort at this difficult time.



Post # 4
1335 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Kempinski San Lawrenz, Gozo

Why has this post only recieved one reply? 

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.  I wish I could ask you not to worry until you know for sure what’s going on, but I cant even imagine the fear you’re feeling right now. Keep yourself around the people you love, they will remind you that you’re not alone. 

fingers crossed, everything will turn out ok!


you’ll be in my thoughts! xx

Post # 5
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I’m so sorry you and your Fiance to be are going through this. There is no way to turn off the worrying completely, unfortunately. I had cervical cancer cells removed numerous times. My doctor once told me what the next step would be treatment wise if the tumors returned and I was terrified. My SO told me that it was okay to spend the day in bed, crying and sleeping and just feeling scared. He then told me that there’s only so much I can control and while the fear lingered in the back of my head, I did my best to stop worrying about something that was entirely outside of my ability to control. The tests would show what they showed whether or not I spent the month carrying about my business, or wringing my hands over a steady flow of wine. Your Fiance might feel a bit isolated for a while. No matter what kind of support system you have, ‘cancer’ is a very big word and it feels like it’s something you go through alone. When he is feeling overwhelmed, remind him that you are right there beside him. You’ve talked about what would happen if it tests positive for melanoma, which is very good. Now try your best to return to your normal routines. Give him time to freak out when he needs to freak out but neither of you are without some control. You can’t control what the tests will show, but you can control how you spend your time waiting for the results. Participate in your hobbies, work out, take a weekend to go sight seeing in a near by city, spend time with family, go eat at a restaurant you’ve never been to. This isn’t where life ends. You may have lost your footing a bit but your world is still turning. I know it’s hard but you need to balance the scary with the wonderful. I’m sending so much love and positive thoughts over to the both of you. Take care of yourselves and each other xo

Post # 6
1335 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Kempinski San Lawrenz, Gozo

I’m bumping this because i’m SURE there are more people out there who are willing to show their support 🙂

Post # 7
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

@Mischka:  I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to think and worry about it until you know for sure what it is. I’ve had 6-7 moles removed and each time the doctor told me he’s very concerned and none of them were cancerous. So sorry you have to go through this. If caught early, melanoma is VERY treatable!!

Post # 8
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I am very sorry but please try not to worry right now. I know people that have had moles removed and are just fine. My thoughts are with you.

Post # 9
8038 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Mischka:  So sorry to hear about this but hopefully it’ll be alright. If anything, at least it was caught early (good for you for checking him regularly)!

My fingers are crossed for you. Please keep us posted.

I am sure it will all work out!

Post # 10
35 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

Praying for you and your FI!  That sounds horrible and I’m sure you are both having a hard time dealing with this! Hopefully you will get the results back soon, because either way, it’s better to know than to be left wondering.  Praying it comes back negative!

Post # 11
6107 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I want to give you big hugs!! I went through something like this a few months ago. While my family doesn’t have a history of skin cancer I do have a lot of moles and since I was feeling particularly vain one day, I decided I wanted this big one on my neck removed. Well when I went to the plastic surgeon (my mom is a NP and wanted me to go there istead of the Derm. because it will leave less scarring) he decided to scan some other moles with this machine he has. When we were almost done I showed him one on my upper arm and he immediately showed concern. He scanned it (it’s like a picture) and the computer showed that it was a risk for melanoma. We had it removed and I’m not going to lie I was pretty nervous for the results. It came back as a pre-melanoma. Essentially if I had waited too much longer to get it checked, it was a high possibility it would have turned into a melanoma. I was relieved and freaked out at the same time. On one hand, I didn’t have melanoma but on the other, I’m obviously susceptible to getting it. I had to go in and get a ful body scan of all my moles and have them “mapped” and photographed and labeled in the computer system. Every six months I have to go in to the office and get everything checked out.

Sorry for the long story. I just want you to know that even though it may look bad, it could come back fine. There might be a silver lining in that the doctor will see the need to have your Fiance come in for regular checks. I know it’s hard to not worry or think about the worst possbile outcome, so I’m not going to tell you “don’t do that”. Just try to think about how things aren’t always as bad as we imagine them and that good things do happen. Please keep us updated so we can continue to give you support.

Post # 12
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am so sorry to hear that the past few months have been  tough.  I just had a mole removed less then a month ago that sounds pretty similiar to your FI’s, expect mine also openned and bled.  I was super concerned, but they removed it, I got 3 stitches and waited about 10 days for my test results to come back. I made myself physically ill with all my worring and my stitches decided that it would be a good idea to grow back into and under the skin so it got infected and hurt.  Best news, the mole was just a normal mole that decided to show all signs of being cancer.  My tests came back fine and it was such a great relief.  I wish for only the best for you and your Fiance and that your test results are only healthy.  

Post # 13
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Although don’t get too upset yet– most moles that get biopsied for suspected melanoma aren’t melanoma! My mom had melanoma. She had an odd looking mole on her arm. I begged her to get it checked for a long time. Finally she called the dermatologist (after about a year of me asking) and had to wait 6 months for an appointment. Long story short, it was melanoma.. they removed it, she was fine, and has been fine the last 7 years! It was only stage 1, even though it had been there for a very long time. Since that time, she’s had lots of other biospies, and so has my brother. 

One of DH’s moles on his back has recently changed and I don’t like the look of it. I finally convinced him to get it checked and there is a 7 month wait for his biopsy. I’ll be keeping you guys in my thoughts! Chances are it’s nothing.. but you definitely want to be safe rather than sorry when it comes to any kind of cancer. You guys are doing everything that you’re supposed to do! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or want some reassurance!

Post # 14
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

When I was 19, my doctor thought I had melanoma. They removed the mole, and the tests ended up coming back normal, although waiting for the test results for two weeks wasn’t fun. I hope that the two of you have the same outcome!

Post # 15
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. 

When I start worrying about something I try to look at the facts objectively. It helps keep me calm. In your case:

–you guys found a mole that had changed into a weird shape, very soon after it had changed.

–you did the right thing and immediately went to the doctor.

–you’re going to have it removed next week.

–you don’t know if it’s cancerous or not — most moles are NOT.

–if it IS cancerous, your FI-to-be is in te best possible position, having noticed the mole very early on & having taken action immediately. 

I don’t know if that helps you, but it always helps me to think this way.

I had a mole on my leg (where melanoma likes to be) last year that I was sure was cancerous. It changed suddenly, grew irregular borders, became raised, and caused me pain that radiated up and down my leg. I was freaking out on the inside. I had it removed in a somewhat painful procedure. The test results showed that it was notihng. I hope you guys have the same outcome.

Post # 16
1360 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Huge hugs, I’m keeping you both in my prayers

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