(Closed) The double standard of engagement rings?

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 17
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t understand why anyone should have to explain their ring choice! When I see coloured gemstone rings I see it as a TRULY traditional choice, because in the olden days people gave eachother colourful rings as a token of love. Diamond rings are seen as traditional but it’s relatively recent if you think about it. Plus it’s just rude to comment on other people’s finances/gift-giving decisions.

 

Post # 18
Member
934 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I had no idea Heidi’s ring was so beautiful. That is now my favourite celebrity ring!

I have a “non-traditional” ring and I never explain it or specify what it is when someone wants to see it. I don’t think anyone should have to, obviously. 

Post # 19
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Lavender amethyst?! SO PRETTY!!! I’ve never seen one – I think it’s great! People who criticise her have no imagination and are superficial. That’s their problem

Post # 20
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

The problem with general developed societies today is that we’re NEVER happy.

We’ve become so obsessed with keeping up with everyone else that we rob ourselves of happiness every day. Women especially are vulnerable to this, especially because the high volume of magazines, shows, and other related stimuli that is directed towards us. It breeds a sense of disappointment in our men when they don’t live up to the expectations of society: “Why did my friend get a bigger diamond than me? Did her boyfriend love her more? Cosmo says that CLEARLY that means my boyfriend loves me less…”

Of course this isn’t all women, but enough where it’s noticeable. And additionally, the insecurity it breeds towards ourselves. “OMG Look at that girl with that pretty dress I mean who is she trying to impress anyway? I would never wear that dress.”

We’ve become too judgemental, and I don’t see it changing anytime soon, unfortunately.

Post # 21
Member
3229 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I love Heidi’s ring although I can’t say the same for your choices with plastic surgery.  The pressure from society to have or be what everyone else wants us to be is just too much.  The more we rebel by commenting to bloggers and that their comments are unjust the quicker we change it.  We live in such a unique time where we can give feedback.  Let’s all make as many comments to bloggers and news outlets when they make idoitic comments like that so our daughters have the right to choose without receiving criticism for their decisions.

Post # 22
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I detest the pissing contest that engagement rings are. Doesn’t that say something about us as a society if we insist on using a dug-up piece of rock on someone’s hand as a measuring stick for their value as a person? Why aren’t people at least judging the MARRIAGES, if they have to judge? Having a good or bad marriage has way more impact on the quality and outcome of ones life than the type of rock on their hand.

Post # 23
Member
3226 posts
Sugar bee

@BrittanyE:  I agree. Nobody should have to “explain” their engagement rings. Thanks DeBeers for ruining the true meaning of engagement…. LOVE! Everyhting is about diamonds when some gems are truly more rare and expensive than diamonds.

Post # 24
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@EffieTrinket:  I TOTALLY agree.

 

 

I teach middle school in an upper-class area (an area that I definitely cannot afford to live in, although I work there!) and I remember last year, students would ask to see my ring when they found out I was engaged. To my surprise, many of my 11-year-old students would then comment, “How big is it? My mom’s ring is way bigger.” (Good thing I am NOT a generally insecure person!) I would just say something to the effect of “Oh I bet it’s pretty!” but then I would internally shake my head that now even freaking 11-YEAR-OLDS have internalized the ENGAGEMENT RING insecurity complex. It’s ridiculous and sad. I don’t remember even being aware of ANY adult’s engagement or wedding rings at 11, besides maybe my mom’s. It wasn’t even on my radar. I remember teachers getting engaged plenty when I was in middle school, and their ring was something that never even entered my mind. It’s sad.

Post # 25
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Honestly, I did not want a diamond. But my husband wanted me to hve one, so thats what I got. I love my ring, but would love anything he got/gets me.

I don’t give a crap what people choose to wear, don’t know why anyone would. Someone could wear a dried up turd on their finger, and if its what makes them happy ( and they arent serving me food) then more power to them.

 

Post # 26
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I love Heidi’s ring..

I never understand why people insist on judging others for decisions they make. Who cares if she doesn’t have a diamond? She has a beautiful ring and it was purchased for her out of love. Isn’t that enough?

Post # 27
Member
2267 posts
Buzzing bee

AUGGHHGHGHGHGHG!!!!!!!
This drives me nuts!!

I have an Alexandrite and I’ve overheard people talking about how “cheap” my fiance is because it’s A) not a diamond and B) not that big.

It’s .73 carats, not that I care, but it’s smaller because Alexandrites ARE MORE EXPENSIVE THAN DIAMONDS!

I’d rather have a smaller gemstone that I ADORE than a bigger one that is pretty, but not my first choice.

So annoying especially when they’re wrong! I mean nothing against cheaper rings (I love budget stuff, I would NOT have paid the price he paid!)

Oh and I remember reading some “research” and people found out that the ruby she has is WAAAYYYY pricier than a diamond because it’s flawless or something.

It’s so frustrating. I love how accepting this website is. I love you all and I am drunk. Goodnight. 

Post # 29
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee

This is just another awesome example of what our society chooses to care about. Nobody wants to talk about the positive things anymore. Lets not congratulate people for getting engaged, lets just feed the monster and hack down everything that is supposed to be a special moment for a couple, just to sell more magazines or whatever. It really makes me sad 🙁

SO and I aren’t engaged yet, but I have had several breakdowns over what I think I “deserve” in terms of a ring and wedding, all the while knowing that I’m being completely irrational and unable to accept anything heart felt because I’m too busy sniveling over the fact that I don’t have a ring which apparently means he doesn’t love me. Preposterous. (Disclaimer, this is not to say I don’t deserve a ring or a wedding – but when I’m freaking out, I’m not exactly being rational in terms of expectations.)

Post # 30
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wouldn’t surprise me if the diamond industry was behind all this backlash against celebrity non-diamond e-rings. After all, that’s the exact tactic they used to convince the public that an e-ring had to be a diamond. (NOT against diamonds myself, just speaking as someone who has taken a lot of jewelry history classes).

The best thing we can do is not participate in any negative gossip about anyone’s rings for any reason.

Post # 31
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I like the lavender amethyst, I think it’s gorgeous.

I personally don’t care what people choose. It’s between them and I don’t think about it one way or the other.

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