(Closed) The drama-rama begins over my ring.

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Why are they upset? Why was it a secret? It seems like it is the grandparents ring to do with what the please, right?

Post # 4
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@DesireeAnne: I’m confused.. what did she say to you??  Is she just mad that you have the family heirloom??

Post # 5
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m confused – what’s the source of the conflict?  Why weren’t they supposed to know?

Post # 6
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Tell her to stuff it. If it were hers to give, she could have done whatever she wanted with it, but it wasn’t.

Post # 7
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Still confused…

 

Post # 8
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

But at any rate, if Aunt got mad and that’s what the whole mess is about, then: 

1. He gave you the ring. It belongs to you now. 

2. The ring wasn’t your Aunt’s to give. It was the grandparents’ and they decided they wanted it to go to you. So if anything, she can take this up with the grandparents. 

3. You really have to let the Aunt’s problem with it be her problem. It’s over and done with and she doesn’t have to like it, but your FI’s right–lots of things happen in life that we don’t like. As adults, we learn that there are appropriate ways to react and inappropriate ways to react. Doesn’t sound like her reaction is appropriate. 

Post # 9
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t get it either…there is no way his parents thought that no one would ever notice whose ring it was. If this aunt is around she was going to see it eventually.

 

Were they going to make an announcement later?

I don’t see how you did anything wrong but I also don’t understand what anyone would be upset about….

Post # 10
Member
747 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i’m sorry you’re having to deal with that! i’m a little confused as to why people are upset, did she want the ring? i’m not sure how they wouldn’t have seen at eventually, what were you to say if the asked about the ring? either way, you didn’t do anything wrong and cannot be held at fault for whatever misunderstanding transpired within his family regarding what should be done with the ring. don’t let it ruin your engagement! make them proud that it was given to you, they’ll come around eventually! 

Post # 12
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I say again: Well, that’s just a big bowl of disappointment for your Aunt. 

Too bad, so sad. 

Go on and post a pic–WE’LL give you the reception you deserve!

Post # 13
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m still confused. If the aunt didn’t want to keep it, what is the issue? What would the uncle do with it anyways? Whoever is in possession of the ring (his grandparents) get to choose who it goes to.

Post # 14
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

If your bf knew all this drama was going to happen as a result of the ring, I’m not sure why it was ever kept a secret. When he was originally going to give you the ring someone should have told the family “This is how it’s going to be, everyone needs to get over it.” Sounds like it was handled poorly all around. I’m sure whatever their issue may be, it was only exacerbated by the secrecy.

That said, this really doesn’t have anything to do with you and shouldn’t diminish your happiness. Facebooks pics or not, unless you wore a paper bag on your hand forever, they were eventually going to find out. Treasure this moment and don’t give them another thought.

Post # 16
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@JennyW1: Well said!

I wouldn’t let it get you down. It was going to come out at some point anyway. Better now than at the wedding where it sounds like she’d throw a fit there anyway. She’ll probably get over it at some point anyway, so just let her accept it on her own terms

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