You asked, so I’ll give you the etiquette as I know it (I’m NOT Emily Post. But I do check in with her from time to time 🙂
1. The “and Guest” thing is not the best etiquette, but it’s not the worst. The best would be to call your FH and ask for your name and correct spelling (worst would be to not invite you at all!)….buuuuuutttt as we brides know, sometimes you get a little overwhelmed and overworked with other stuff going on in your life, so in a pinch, “and Guest” is one of those things that gets the slack. Oh well–at least you were invited!
2. The registry info in invitations is traditionally-speaking, a no-no. Custom-wise, it depends on region. And to counter you, I’m also from Cali (born and raised Angeleno) and no one has included the cards in any of my invites. The bottom line is, if you want to be safe, then don’t include it–list a wedding website and include registry info on the site, or rely on word of mouth. The logic behind not including the registry info, by the way, is that your invitation is an extension of your hospitality and a request for someone’s presence. You don’t want to imply that their presence is conditioned upon receiving a gift and you don’t want the request for their attendance to be “on the same plain” so to speak as requesting a gift. Technically, guests are never required to give you a gift, regardless of whether or not they attend. Posting it on a website is different in the sense that guests have to actively go there and find the information (same thing as calling your folks), which means that they are the ones who are precipitating the act of giving you a gift; versus you requesting one. Again, it’s a rule that’s changing and it varies by social circle, so I’m only giving you the conservative etiquette-book response.
3. Dessert receptions are fine, especially if the wedding is late (and 7pm is late). They did the right thing by listing it on the invitation–that’s how people know they shouldn’t expect a full meal and can plan their own meals accordingly.
4. I think that I heard somewhere that unless your wedding is white or black tie, you shouldn’t put the attire recommendation on the invitation–I guess becuase it’s presumptuous to tell your guests what to wear. Again, I’ve only heard this second-hand, so I don’t know myself what the “proper” etiquette is. For my taste, though, most attire recommendations are just sort of fussy–and–as snobby as this will sound–sort of like “playing rich” or the socioeconomic equivalent of little girls dressing up in mom’s clothing, if you KWIM. I get that some people like to know these things, but the tags often end up creating more confusion rather than solving it, coupled with the fact that while white and black tie have specific requirements (tails for men, long dresses for women etc.), there’s not many hard-and-fast rules when it comes to “cocktail attire,” aside from “HEY DIPSHIT, LOOK NICE!” And we all know how varied “look nice” is interpreted!
Case in point: “summer formal” means really nothing to me. I guess, something that looks nice that’s not wool or velvet, LOL??