Post # 1
So my wedding is coming up right quick. With my To-Do list growing and me trusting my BMS (dreaded) I told them they can find any shoes they want. ANYTHING. Can borrow them, wear something they have, find a cheap pair…anything.
So they do find a pair….a pair of REALLY ugly shoes. The price of them is amazing, and I will agree…but the shoes.are.ugly. I mean, will seriously ruin the look I was going for. Picture BULKY BIG UGLY.
A lil backstory: I feel guilty for not being able to afford their dresses (they were 120) but they all said because were good friends, theyd have to pay that much anyways on a new dress for my wedding. I’m paying for their makeup by an amazing artist, a coupe other things they need for their outfit and seriusly have no more money to spend on shoes.
I ask them to return them and said I’ll look and pay. One of them said okay, and the other said no she’ll take care of it. BUT BOTH SOUNDED SUPER ANNOYED. Either way they surely did make me feel guilty and horrible. I don’t feel like they’re excited.
I don’t know what to do…if I should bring it up to them and tell them exactly how I feel. Or if I should give pay and let it go…which I am not comfortable doing.
Post # 3
I recommend keeping some perspective here and realize that your friends are much much much more important than the shoes they wear in your wedding. Do whatever you need to do to not damage that relationship. Up to and including apologizing for criticizing the shoes they bought after you told them they could buy any shoes they want. In the grand scheme of things, the shoes just aren’t going to be important.
Post # 4
Wow, that’s a tough one. They all like the shoes but you hate them? You’re the bride, so they should respect your wishes and your taste. Is there time to get news ones? I don’t know your exact wedding date but there are only a couple and a half weeks left in August, not much time.
Yes, pay for them to be returned and help them find new ones that you like (you ALL like) is what I’d recommend.
Btw, I don’t think them paying $120 for their dresses is bad at all, especially since you’re paying for the other stuff. That’s a reasonable price for a BM dress, very much so.
Here’s another tip: Leave the emotions out of it – it can only get ugly. Focus on the joy of YOUR wedding, not their crappy attitudes. Don’t let them ruin this for you.
Post # 5
You told them to buy any shoes and they bought shoes… You really cant complain because you don’t like the shoes.
I do not think what they wear on their feet is a big enough issue to even deal with right now!
Post # 6
How ugly could they be? Nobody is really doing to be paying attention to Bridesmaid or Best Man shoes. One of my Bridesmaid or Best Man wore silver flip-flops, and while I wasn’t crazy about them, I realized that they were comfortable for her and really don’t even notice them.
Post # 7
I want to commend you on being relaxed so far, but I do think you are worrying a little more than necessary here. Unless they are like, combat boots or sneakers, no one is going to notice or care, and I don’t really think most pictures even show feet.
Post # 8
I know I told them to get whatever they want, so yes…I should have prepared myself for this. But we all have similar taste and I was just a lil taken back they picked them out. They got them cause of the price which is understandable. But I worked so hard to find a gorgeous dress for them they can wear again…I think I just hoped they would care enough to find something beautiful to go with.
Post # 9
From my perspective, they’re just shoes and you aren’t wearing them, so it’s not a big deal to me. No one will be paying attention to the BMs on your day.
Post # 10
Are the BMs dresses long or short?
Because if you have long BMs dresses, their shoes aren’t going to be seen (or noticed) by most people.
It might be more of an issue with a short dress, but to be honest if the bride told me to pick out whatever shoes I wanted…..I’d be annoyed too if I was told my choice didn’t match what the bride wanted.
Post # 11
Well you did tell them ANYTHING. They found anything. They like the shoes and they are comfortable in them, and no one is going to be looking at their feet in the pictures. I think you’re a being a little over the top with this. If I were you I would tell them that those shoes aren’t exactly what you pictured, and are willing to help them find something else to wear, but that if you all can’t find something you’d rather them wear shoes they are comfortable in… then you won’t come across as a B.
Can we see a picture of these shoes? You might just be overreacting. And if they are acting ‘fake’ it is probably because they’re upset with you right now. Shoes are not worth fussing over to me.
Post # 12
I realized with my own BMs that sometimes it is hard on both the bride AND the BMs to let them choose their own shoes/dress/whatever. They don’t want to displease you, but they also don’t see YOUR VISION of your wedding day. Sometimes they would rather you just made the decisions for them.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with you picking out shoes (reasonably priced) and asking the girls to buy them. That’s what the bride did in a wedding I was in where we wore cocktail length dresses. In other weddings we wore floor-length dresses and the bride just requested we wear a certain color. That was better since everyone’s feet are shaped differently and thus we can’t all be comfortable in the same pair of inexpensive shoes.
Post # 13
OP – do you have pics? Or even of something similar? Maybe they’re not so bad and we can console you if you’re stuck with them, lol.
Post # 14
Yeah I need to see a picture of these.
Post # 15
Post # 16
What do the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses look like? They aren’t that bad IMO but I can see how its a matter of taste.