(Closed) The Dreaded Guest List

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Elope. 😉

Just kidding. I say you cut it off at a certain point. Blame the venue. Tell your family/friends that the venue only accomodates a certain amount of people. Give everyone (your parents/ future in laws/yourselves) X number of people to invite and tell them they pick and choose but only get X number. If its less than what they need, too bad! Venue doesn’t fit!


Post # 4
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Tell your parents that they can have a certain number of extra add-ons, and if they exceed that, they’ll need to cover the cost difference (if you’re willing to let them) OR tell them that the venue has a particular capacity.

As for the church, well it’s technically a public place, so really anyone who wants to come can.  Luckily, if they list your event in the church bulletin, you don’t have to send actual invitations to the congregation- which means they aren’t actually invited to the reception part of the event (which is the one that costs money).  As a church member, they are more than welcome to come witness you exchange vows but they don’t need to be specifically invited, unless you want them to be present at both the ceremony AND reception.

OR- have a private, immediate family only ceremony, and host a laid back after party or throw a marriage celebration after.

Or one of the many wonderful suggestions other creative Bees come up with 🙂

Post # 5
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

Our solution was to set very clear lines. We invited out to first cousins, no second cousins, cosins once removed, etc etc. This also magically eliminated any kids–yay! We invited friends and their spouses/SO’s basically if they are significant enough that we had met them. The only exception to that was 3 people who one of us know from high school/college who won’t know anyone else–we gave them a guesst so they won’t be all alone. Family will know each other so I was much more strict about the SOs–basically no house/no spouse/no ring = no bring. After all that we figured out how many people we had left and divided that in half, and that was the number of people our parents could invite of their friends. (after all that we are still slightly over where we want to be, but we know a lot of people will not come due to religious reasons (observant Jews, Saturday wedding) You’re not being a bridezilla at all–people cannot object to clear lines, that way it’s not personal.

I have never heard of having to invite an entire church–that sounds like a recipe for complete insanity. Are you inviting them to the reception too or just the service?

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