(Closed) Keeping Guest List Low Who to Invite Who To Leave Out

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We aren’t having kids at the wedding…except my flower girl and ring bearer and my FI’s 3 nephews (who are coming from FL).  I am addressing the invites to only the parents (specifically putting their first and last names).  My grandfather was 1 of 10 children so you can only imagine how many cousins I have to include…If you aren’t 21 – you aren’t coming. 

I don’t speak to my father’s side of the family (a whole other situation in which they wouldn’t even recognize me if I sat there and had an hour long convo w/ them).  My father speaks to his family on a very little basis and have been so horrible to him that I couldn’t bare the drama and pain they caused him.  However, we are inviting ONE of his brothers and his wife to the wedding.  I know that shit will fly when they get the invite and word trickles down but honestly, I don’t care since its MY day.  

That said….only invite those that care about you and Fiance….don’t invite people just to “save face” because you’ll spend you day stressing about keeping everyone happy or making sure people stay away from the drama makers…

Post # 4
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Maybe you could send announcements. That way, you arent burning bridges and you could find some way to say “we’re having a small wedding.” A lot of people are having weddings where no children are allowed and that is incorporated into the invite somehow. I don’t know how your cousins would take it, but since they’d be traveling across the country you might consider their kids being the only kids allowed. That way they dont say, “well i cant come, i have to watch my kids.” ya know? & let me say, the fact that you & your Fiance are paying for the wedding gives you a lot more decision making room! My parents are paying for it as they can and my mother thinks she can invite whoever she wants! (i.e. her cousins in wisconsin that ive NEVER met.) Good Luck Though! That guest list kicked me in the butt!

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