Post # 1
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
Bees, I need some advice! I’m working on compiling the guest list and I’m not sure who to send an invitation to or if I send announcements or save the dates??
Fiance and I are completely paying for the wedding ourselves. I’m just not sure of the protocol on this. Do I ask his mom for her input? Do I show her the final guest list?
Who gets an invite? We both have family members in far-flung places that probably wouldn’t attend, do they get an invite?
What about co-workers? We live in KY and are marrying in NY, do we give them an invite as a courtesy?
What’s the etiquette on this??
What about announcements? Who sends these? When are they sent? Does everyone who gets an announcement get an invite to the wedding?
Help!
Post # 3
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
Everyone who gets an annoucement should receive an invitation. Save the dates or annoucements should be sent several months in advance. My Fiance and I are getting married 3 hours away from where our families and friends live, so we are sending out the save the dates very soon. We are inviting family that lives across the country, even though we know they will probably not be able to attend, only because we want them to know that we were thinking of them. We are inviting them without any intention of them coming or receiving a gift from them. I would just hate to offend them by leaving them out. As far as coworkers, it is whatever you feel comfortable with. How close are you with them? If you’ve been there for a while and hang out with them outside of work often then I believe it would be proper to invite them. I guess all of this ultimately depends on how big of a wedding you guys want and can afford. Guest lists can get out of control very quickly! We did ask my mother in law for a list of people that she would like to attend, as well. Sorry for the long response!
Post # 4
Member
5887 posts
Bee Keeper
there are two different ways you can go about this. i think the first might work better for you.
1. set a budget and then decide how many people you can afford to have. allocate a certain number of invites to both sets of parents
2. compile a guest list of all your MUST HAVE people, and have your parents do the same. this is a little trickier because they can obviously come back to you with a guest list of 100 each.
since you are having a destination wedding for many of the guests, save the dates might be a nice gesture. these go out 6-12 months before the wedding date. i’m not a fan of announcements, and i’m still not really convinced of their purpose. i think some people send them to people they didn’t invite to the wedding- but this seems a bit gift grabby to me.