Post # 1
This is my first post, and I would love some feedback and advice.
It is regarding the cost of a dress. I am a Sept 13 bride, tried to have a replica dress made and it didn’t live up to my expectations (of course!) and now I have found the actual dress, pre-owned for around $3000. And everybody knows how beautiful Jenny Packham is.
My parents think this is a ridiculous amount of money. And that I should buy a dress for $1000 max. And that I should put money set aside for unexpected expenses. However, I am so in love with this dress, and the wedding gets closer and closer every day.
I have a small inheritance from grandparents passing, and the purpose of the money was to ‘help me get ahead in life’. I have worked full time while putting myself through university and paid all my uni fee’s up front in full with my hard earned cash- using a minimal amound of inheritance fund.
I am coming up to final uni exams, and I’m very stressed and can’t think straight. I need some advice.
The question is: should I take the plunge? I am afraid my parents will be disappointed if I do, and will cause a rift between us. But I am also afraid of losing out on my dream dress. I have tried talking to my mum about it, but she fails to see past the price. I am very budget conscious, and this would be my wedding ‘splurge’. Everything else is being supplied by friends, DIY or at a small cost.
Or is anyone able to sell me a pre-owned, cheap Jenny Packham?
Post # 3
Have you also considered maybe buying the dress and selling it after the wedding?
Post # 4
Yes, I have considered this option- but my parents think it is too much initial cost outlay 🙁
Post # 5
@meganseptemberbride: are your parents contributing towards the wedding?
Post # 6
I think I’m with your parents on this one – $3000 is a lot of money for something you will only wear once.
For my wedding, I’m going to splurge on shoes I’ll wear again and expensive make up if I don’t use a MUA but I can’t justify spending a fortune on a dress I’ll only ever wear once.
Post # 7
This is ultimately your decision and I guess since the money was left to you, it’s also yours to spend.
$3000 is a lot of money but it’s something which can be recovered quite easily. HOWEVER, don’t forget you will also have alterations costs, shipping etc. I spent about $3000 for my dress as well which is a lot for a student (I paid every penny by myself) and looking back, I think I would have been happy with a cheaper dress (maybe half to 2/3rds of that). It’s easy to get caught up in the whole wedding thing and when you read this board/watch Say Yes To The Dress, it’s easy to think “well, $3000 for a dress seems very average, maybe even an awesome deal since on SYTTD, dresses are like 7000-30000!”.
That said, Jenny Packham dresses are pretty unique so if that’s your style, it will be difficult to find similiar styles for less than $1000. She also has a lots of fans so if you think the resale value is good, then I would go for it.
Post # 8
If you didn’t find the real thing used would you have been happy with the replica?
The only way I could support spending $3,000 on a dress would be if I was making a lot of money. As a student I would never spend that much money. I would also be careful to look at it as a “loan.” You could spill something on your dress or rip it and it may have no resale value. It’s easy to get swept up in wedding fever and think “I’m already spending 10 grand on food, what’s a 3 grand dress?” but try to keep your feet on the ground.
Post # 9
That’s a horrible decision to have to make, I can see why you’re so torn. As previous posters have said – there’s alterations, shipping etc to factor in, and then if you do damage it in someway you won’t recoup any cost. On the other hand, it’s the only day you’ll get to wear it! If it does damage, is it something that could be shortened and worn again? At least then the cost per wear might go down! I was going to suggest http://www.bhldn.com/shop-the-bride-wedding-dresses/ as to me some of their dresses have a JP-ish feel, but actually they’re still pretty pricey.
Good luck with making your decision.
Post # 10
@meganseptemberbride: This is a tough one. What is your financial relationship with your parents? Are they contributing towards the wedding, or helping you out with money matters otherwise?
It sounds as though you’ve tried to do the frugal thing, and are ultimately unhappy with the result. It also sounds like having your dream gown is an important aspect of your wedding. This is how I felt – fashion is a passion for me so I always knew I would spend more on my wedding dress than the average bride. I know a lot of ladies will argue that you are only wearing it for a few hours and that it’s not worth it – but I think being able to wear the dress that speaks to you as a woman, as a bride and makes you feel more beautiful and most you is worth it. In my opinion this is not a purchase that can, or should be justified on a cost per wear basis.
Which JP dress is it? Keep an eye out on the usual sites (POWD, oncewed, tradesy etc) as well as eBay UK, I often see really great deals on JP dresses on there. Also Savvybrides.com.au stock some preowned JP gowns too.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
I think you will regret spending $3000 on a dress you will wear for 6 hour. I really do.
Post # 12
Which Jenny Packham dress is it?
I would personally save that $3K for something more important, but it is YOUR money.
Post # 13
I’m all for spending whatever you want on a dress if you can afford it, but being in school still, I just have to think this isn’t a very good use of your inheritance.
Post # 14
@meganseptemberbride: What does your fiancé think about how much you are spending on the dress? I know it’s your money but after you all get married your finances will be together. If the two of you are ok with spending 3,000 then I say go for it but sometjing tells me you don’t wont to spen 3,000 since you chose a replica to begin with. Could you post the dress and maybe we can steer you to a more affordable dress. If your grandparents gave you the money to get ahead in life I would try to save it for a down payment on a home or something.
Post # 15
I’m going to be in the No Don’t Do It camp. $3k is a LOT to spend on any one item. A lot a lot. There are a lot of gorgeous dresses out there for a lot less. I love fashion as much as the next lady, but I would never spend my inheritence on a dress. Lets be honest, you are not going to get the same “return” on a bridal dress that you would if you invested the money. If you damage the dress somehow during the day, then you will not be able to resell it for a good amount of money. It may even be a complete loss. And drycleaning will only get out some stains, not all.
Also…have you even tried on the actual Jenny Packham dress yet? You might find that the dress you love in your head may not suit your body or style, and that would be a very hard $3k lesson to learn.
Post # 16
@FirstComesLoveNZ: Yes, but they are not very well off- hence the frugalness.