(Closed) The Envelope: Wedding Gift Calculator/How much to give — Thoughts??

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: What do you think of this?

    It's spot on.

    It's off - it recommends giving more than I'm comfortable with.

    It's off - it recommends giving less than I'd give.

    It's tacky!

    It's useful!

    It's silly.

  • Post # 17
    130 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    Out of curiosity, I did this for “my wedding”.. which will be in Hawaii, and an international flight for most of our guests. I don’t think they should give me ANYTHING… if they have to pay for flights, hotels etc.. it doesn’t really make sense to also give a gift! 

    Have any bee’s attended an international destination wedding and also given a monetary gift?

    Post # 18
    68 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Haha it has Minnesota spelled wrong. That makes me take it less seriously. 


    It says my fiance and I should give $80 to the cross country informal Thursday wedding we’re going to in August. Fair enough!

    Post # 19
    1192 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Yeah, I put in my cousin’s wedding that Fiance and I went to over Christmas. We flew from Orlando to Maryland for the wedding and I was only working part-time at that point (under the calculator’s minimum salary, so I selected unemployed) and it wanted me to give them $170. I bought them a $25 smores maker off their registry that I know for a fact they loved.

    Post # 20
    2571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    View original reply
    @sweetestsin:  Not international, but I flew from NY to Vegas for a friend’s wedding and got the plane tickets very late (thanks to my boss taking his sweet time approving the time off) so at that point, the $650 plane ticket might as well have been an international flight! In addition, I spent about $300 on hotel for two nights. I gave only $50 (attended alone) b/c I was pretty much spending a grand to get there/be there. Honestly, my friend getting married was more touched by the fact that I took time out of my busy season to fly alone (had just begun dating my SO and would be awkward to ask him to come then) to see them get married than any amount of money stuffed into an envelope. 🙂 

    When I went to a local wedding for a really good friend last summer, I went with my SO and was able to give $200 b/c I didn’t have to spend much money to travel.

    Post # 21
    3 posts
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I disagree with the way that it ties the amount of the gift to how expensive the wedding is. I wouldn’t give someone less because they couldn’t afford as fancy of a wedding.

    Post # 22
    882 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    It seems lower than what I normally give, and what I received for my wedding too.


    Post # 23
    1211 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Yeah, it told me I needed to give $310 for my best friend’s wedding. Hell to the no. 

    Post # 24
    4765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    whoa! that thing seems to have been made by some greedy bride/groom.  It was all hypothetical answers for me, but No way in hell would I give that much.

    Post # 25
    2852 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    It’s off. We’re having to drive a 2600km roundtrip to attend this wedding (or spend $2300 on flights), gas and accommodations on the way down (we split each way into 2 days of driving), taking a week off work, and paying for accommodations for 3 days while we attend the wedding. The calculator suggested we gift $260. No way. $150 is my absolute max after everything else we’re paying for just to attend.

    Post # 26
    4332 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    holy cow, no way! $360 for a relative’s wedding in my same state, and  where I have already attended one pre-wedding event. $225 for the same wedding but for casual friends, and $250 for close friends. 

    For our wedding, our group of friends and relatives are very “middle class,” possibly some “upper-middle class,” and we got MANY $100 gifts from couples. Only a handful of people gave more. That seemed quite reasonable to me, and not at all stingy!

    Post # 27
    1812 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    WAY too high! Regardless of closeness to the couple, I theoretically like to give about 1/3 of what it suggested. Hell, NO ONE at my wedding gave us as much as it recommended I do for my casual friends. By a LOT.

    Post # 28
    1721 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Hell to the no. It said we should have given $225 to the bride/groom of the wedding we attended last weekend. They are old neighbors. We gave $50. We had to drive 500 miles!


    For my cousin’s wedding in which I was a bridesmaid, it said $240. We gave $100.

    For our wedding, our guests were “supposed” to give us $105. Why is that?

    Post # 29
    7199 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    So I just decided to play around with it. When I put in that I am unemployed and going to a local wedding it said I should give $50 MORE than when I put in that my household income was $70k and I was going further away. WHAT? Is that because of the travel costs? That factors more than NOT HAVING ANY INCOME AT ALL?

    Post # 31
    904 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    It suggested $225 for the wedding Fiance and I attended on Friday, which is WAY off.  We gave a gift worth ~$70 including shipping, and even that was a bit too expensive for us.  Honestly, there’s no way for somebody to tell you how much you “should” give.  For one thing, a wedding gift is not a requirement.  It’s a gift!  Out of the goodness of your heart!  So give whatever you’re comfortable giving.  For us, it’s certainly <$100, usually <$50.

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