(Closed) the ever popular name changing topic

posted 9 years ago in Names
Post # 3
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Poor kids! Ha ha.

Full disclosure: I did change my name, but took me about 2 months to decide to take the plunge. Right now I view it as a legal change only and still go by my name.

My Mother-In-Law: “Just do it. It’ll be easier.” Then using it anyway when she’d been told I wouldn’t.

The biggest thing was when we’d tell people that there would be no change, they kept asking if I’d made up my mind, like they hadn’t heard my answer.

Post # 4
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Harbison Chapel & The Maple Lane Farm

That’s such a funny response! I think your kids will understand after two seconds of explaining, plus this happens a lot now, so it’s not going to be so unusual for their generation. My new last name is so similar to my old last name I don’t get many comments on changing it up. 

Post # 5
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

It seems really weird to me. I mean, everyone knows my last name … if I change it … what will the difference be? Really, what happens when you change it?

Post # 6
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

When I was at my bachelorette party, we were at dinner and the girls toasted me “To the new Mrs FI’sLastName.” And I just smiled and let it be, since my fiance and I had decided not to tell anyone our business. But then my Maid/Matron of Honor, who was the only one I had told that I wasn’t changing, spilled the beans.

Dead. EFFING. Silence.

Seriously, I felt like crawling under the table. They all just stared at me for a second or two with these kind of half-smiles like I was about to say “Just Kidding!” But when I didn’t say that, one friend started sputtering “I don’t understand. What?” And my sister had say like “She isn’t changing her name.” I was really embarassed and felt pretty sh*tty. My Maid/Matron of Honor tried to ease the tension by making a joke about her boyfriend’s last name, but it was definitely a mood-killer.

I hate when people say our kids will be confused. My fiance is from a culture where no one changes their names upon marriage, and this has not produced an entire people confused about who their mothers are. I am still up in the air about letting him name our kids HIS name… sigh. For another time.

Post # 7
369 posts
Helper bee

Don’t ever feel shitty for something that you know is right for you. Some people just hold different opinions and just because you’re not “going with the flow” or following the more popular trend, doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong.

As for me, I’m not sure if I’ll change my last name or not. I probably won’t right away but then it depends on how I feel about it once we’re married.

Post # 8
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Hotel Vitale

I changed my name and for awhile I felt like I was living a double identity- some stuff was switched some wasn’t. Most of my co-workers haven’t changed their names so I am a bit of an anomaly- and even got a few not so nice remarks about the fact that I was changing my name.

In fact, an older male co-worker started to ask me a ton of questions about my new name, if it had any significance to my family and if my parents were upset that I would just change my name.

I quickly realized that he missed the fact that I got married. He thought I just changed my name for the fun of it.

Post # 9
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

peeptoe: lol!! That is hilarious! Men are so oblivious sometimes.

@shortcherriez: I felt shitty because of the reaction, not because of what I did. I still feel good about that. Just bad that they didn’t seem to accept me and my decisions. Oh well! I am over it now!

Post # 10
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hilarious reactions! My uncle told my family that I wouldn’t be included in my fiance’s will unless I had his last name. You just have to laugh.

Post # 11
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Mrs. Peeptoe, I feel exactly the same way!  I changed my name, but I don’t know that many people who have.  The last couple of months I started thinking as I read the NYT wedding annoucements and I feel like it’s a no brainer for a lot of people to keep their names.  It makes me feel weak or like a throwback or something, on top of all the crazy “oh, sorry, I don’t remember my name” moments.

Also, one of my favorite stories is that my husband’s best man asked whether I was changing my name while they were at a bar.  Apparently Jon almost fell off his barstool when he said yes!

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