(Closed) The Ex Factor

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
9686 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@shadowblind:   It doesn’t sound as though there was anything to the run-in with your Fiance and his ex-GF besides it being a coincidence.  It doesn’t sound like you have anything to be concerned about, he’s obviously not interested in her.

Maybe I’m missing something, can you please clarify a little more what you’re asking?

Post # 5
Member
9686 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@shadowblind:   You feel validated by how he talks about her, ok.  Did you have concerns prior to now?  Did you think he still had feelings for her in some way and now you feel more secure since this recent conversation?  If so, that makes sense.  I can understand that. 

Post # 6
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Well it feels good when people, especially your partner in life, says nice things about you. It’s always nice to hear from your SO that he thinks you’re 12846828x more awesome than his ex lol.

Post # 9
Member
9686 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@shadowblind:   It sounds like he realizes how lucky he is to have found you, and how much true happiness with you contrasts to how unhappy he was before in the relationship with her.

Post # 10
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

@shadowblind:  Well that’s the same thing. You feel better because he says she is nothing compared to you. It’s the same reason bullies beat up the smaller kids in the playground lol.

I mean ideally nobody should feel good when someone else is put down, but I’m fairly certain we’ve all been guilty of that at some point.

Post # 11
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

I guess being favorably compared with exes can totally give you a high. We are all human, and sometimes we need a healthy boost to our vanity – because we all face a sort of unease about our SO’s exes. However, my ex was sending love notes begging his ex to come back. Even plagiarized a poem I wrote for him and sent to her under his own name. So I never got to enjoy the comparisons – even when he claimed I was a million times better than her. I know the reason he didn’t return to her: she wouldn’t take him back.

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