(Closed) The Ex-GF – am I doing the right thing?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i’m confused. from what you say, he is just saying hypothetically in a perfect world, everyone would be friends, but he isn’t saying he’s going to reach out to her in real life. am i misunderstanding?

Post # 4
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think it could be asking for trouble.  This isn’t someone he just dated casually.  They lived together for 7 years and she wanted to marry him.  Every situation is different though.  I would never forbid my SO from being friends with an ex, but I would be wary of it if they were this serious.  How often do they bump into each other anyway?  It doesn’t seem like avoiding awkwardness now and then is a reason to be friends with anyone.

Post # 5
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

i dont see anything wrong with him wanting to be friends with her. I think its much healthier to be friends with her than to not talk to her at all.

Post # 8
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@adage: i would say at this point then, that he should just let it go. i mean honestly, things will ALWAYS be awkward. after 7 years of dating, a bad breakup, and then you and him dating for 2.5 years…if they were going to be friends, they would be already. wouldn’t you think? i think you both need to move on from her, and just deal with the awkardness as it comes.

Post # 10
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

You say “cold turkey” but was it with bad blood or was it on amicable terms?

For instance, FI and his EX split as amicably as possible but she really took him for a ride and cheated on him and left him in debt. So now that the divorce is final and she has no ‘hold’ over him, he is happy never to speak to her again.  Had this not been the case, they would probably be friends.

Post # 13
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

@adage:

Oh, ouch.

I don’t know him or the situation really but I would say if he was able to cut her out like that then the ‘friendship’ probably doesn’t need remending at this point.

He needs to not feel guilty and leave that part of his past behind.

Just my thoughts, but i’m often wrong 🙂

Post # 14
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think you said and did the right things. He didn’t want to marry her, and he does want to marry you. It’s great that he was honest with you and didn’t do anything behind your back, and you had a good healthy talk about it. It’s great that you trust each other so much to have that comunication. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being friend with an ex as long as there aren’t feelings involved anymore.

Post # 16
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think this could end up bad in the long run. They were together and lived together for a long time. She wasnt some high school crush type girlfriend she wanted to marry him and have children etc. So if they start talking again there is always that chance that even if his feelings dont come back that hers might and It may cause problems with you two..

The topic ‘The Ex-GF – am I doing the right thing?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors