Post # 1
SO how weird is it that as soon as you are taken the exes come out of the woodwork wanting you back??? I just don’t understand it! I have been single for 10 YEARS! The guy that I had gone out with prior to my fiance, I had been with for 5 YEARS and he dumped me… He thought the grass was greener and now is finding out that it wasn’t. He is still a great friend and we have spoken quite a few times over the course of the 10 years, (me hoping he would want me back) but he never indicated that he wanted anything more from me then friendship. Now, he has found I am getting married and has been emailing me asking that I break up with my fiance and take him back…. I just think it is soooo odd. I haven’t changed. I am the same person that I was 10 years ago when he dumped me, but yet he wants me back. WHY? What ever it was that he didn’t like about me back then is still there…. So what makes him think that it would be any different? I love my fiance. He treats me better than anyone ever has in my life but there is that what if? What if I am making a mistake? What if this isn’t right? Should I still be with the ex? IT IS TERRIBLE! I suppose it is just cold feet…. My fiance and I have a wonderful life together and the ex really has NOTHING to offer… What is making me even think about this??? AHHHHHH
Post # 3
@Mrs.em2hurley: Because bad men are like a fungus or a rash. They keep coming back. Just ignore him. This happens to every woman I’ve ever known, including myself. It’s very common.
Post # 4
Ignore it, tell them to back the F off, and block contact with them. Simple.
Post # 5
I have had exs contact me since my husband and I have gotten together.
Whenever I get an email from them, I usually just click them to the trash bin. I just dont find it appropriate or respectful to even engage in convos with them regarding relationships.
There is a reason that these people are “exes”.
So if I were you, I would look back on the reasons you decided to marry your Fiance. Clearly you felt that it was a good choice, so just remember that.
Post # 6
I think it can definitely be flattering to get that type of email. But junk it. Don’t respond. I agree – bad men are like rashes. You don’t need him in your life – you have a great Fiance who you will have a wonderful life with. Don’t let the ex cloud your feelings.
Post # 7
@tranquility: I agree.
Don’t engage, it’s disrespectful to your relationship. Exes are the WORST!
Post # 8
I hate guys who want what they can’t have! Ignore him, you seem to already have answered your own question as Ex has nothing to offer!
Post # 9
Exes are exes for a reason. Unfortunately, time has a way of slowly making you forget the crappy parts about your relationship with them that eventually ended everything. Ignore it. He’ll get the hint.
Post # 10
Ugh, now I feel weird. Am I the only one ‘the dreaded ex’ didn’t want 🙁 Well, I don’t keep in touch with exes though so I’d take that as the reason 😉
Post # 11
Thank you ladies! I think you are all right! If you just ignore it then it can’t really start eating at you… You just get so vulnerable so close to the wedding date….It is very nerve wracking!
Post # 12
My best friend gets emails from her exes all the time, but she thinks it’s way too uncivil to tell them to back off. She also calls/texts/etc. guys that have shown interest in her despite telling them she won’t date them. She’s had this one ex email her while he’s engaged to someone else. They dated for a year back in high school. We’re now approaching our 10-year reunion and I just don’t get it why she hasn’t called him out on it.
A part of me believes that she gets an ego boost out of it. But then again she has had semi-commital relationships and I’d be honestly surprised if she found the one and be ready for him anytime soon. I suspect she’ll probably marry eventually but with this going on I doubt it’d be a strong marriage. Any self-respecting guy wouldn’t put up with her chatting with her exes or ex-potentials. But I figured we are young, she’s allowed a few years of playing the field. I just don’t agree with how she’s doing it, though.
I believe it’s just the yearning for the past in some way, from the doer and the receiver. For the ex, he is earnestly trying to rekindle what was lost and just can’t get over it. For my friend, I also she hasn’t gotten over it and that it’s too insulting for their current SOs and she always tries to hide it from them. I agree with PPs that trashing the emails or setting it to block is the best way to respect your Fiance and the relationship you have with them.
Post # 13
I think this happens to almost everyone. I’ve had a few guys email me on facebook and send me text messages since I got engaged too.
Post # 14
@Sunfire: Because bad men are like a fungus or a rash. They keep coming back. Just ignore him. This happens to every woman I’ve ever known, including myself. It’s very common.
What she said. It’s happened to me as well.
Don’t answer his emails or messages. Block him. He didn’t want you then, so he shouldn’t get a second chance with you now. That ship has sailed. You have moved on. Talking to him is not going to benefit you at all. So leave the past in the past, focus on your Fiance and your wedding.
Post # 15
Causes exes are like a bad case of herpes. Just when you think you get rid of them they flare up again. Some men make plays like the one he is making because, deep down he knows your not going to dump your fiance. Then he can say well I tried and you didnt want me. He is really safe from a relationship with you because your already in a relationship. He doesnt actually have to commit himself.
If you decide to let go of your fiance I can guarantee that he will dump you the moment you are single.
Post # 16
DOn’t do it… totally ignore the email