(Closed) The Ex…She makes me MAD!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

🙁 I’m sorry. That sounds so horrible! But it’s great that you’re such a positive influence on your SS, who clearly is in a stable, happy home and does respect you as a parent (otherwise, why would he get confused when told he could chew gum despite your rules? He’d just go ahead and do it without asking if he really didn’t respect you). I have a similar situation (though I’m not married to the future SD’s father yet), so I know how frustrating it is. *hugs*

Post # 5
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Take The Reins:  That is awful. What a sad situation for SS. Luckily for you, her involvment is few and far between.

I can relate with crazy baby mamas.

My SO’s Ex has the kids 50% of the time. we take a week, she takes a week, and we alternate. been doing this schedule for nearly 3 years. I have bathed, clothed, and fed these kids, and treated them like my own.I love them and feel like they are family, just as much as SO is. Last week, she sent a text to SO telling it was inappropriate for me to be giving them baths because I am not a parent.(they are 9 & 6 and often take baths together. They don’t need me to give them a bath- I help with the hair washing)

I have been “parenting” them for over 2 years, and NOW she wants to tell me its inappropriate for me to help them with baths???WTF?

Post # 6
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

OH MY… this is my fear. I can somewhat relate to you. I will soon by a stepmom and when the kids back from even ONE night with their mom we have to retrain them all over again. They stayed 4 nights for spring break, ONE bath and NO teeth were brushed… REALLY!?!?! It’s sad to say that you hope they stay univolved for the sake of stability of the children. You are doing great work with your husband. Do the best you can with your stepson. In the end, he sees you everyday providing and loving him. He may want to develop a better relationship with mom later on down the line, but you are his MOTHER.

Post # 8
31 posts
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m so happy for your lucky stepson that he has a woman in his life like you, who obviously loves him a great deal and cares passionately about what happens to him. 🙂

Post # 11
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Why do you force him to speak to his mother over and over when he clearly does not wish to speak with her?  He’s 6–he doesn’t really have the attention span to talk to someone who is mostly a stranger to him at this point and forcing him into a relationship is going to make him resent her more than if you allow him to dictate his boundaries.

And why do you put up with her antics?  If he doesn’t want to talk to her, please don’t make him talk to her.  If she can’t accept that and blows up the phone, turn them off/unplug the house phones etc.  She lost her rights as a parent, so her relationship with him should be on your terms.  You say “SS doesn’t want to talk right now.  He will call back later.”  The entire hullabaloo where you guys say something, she freaks out and acts out and you give in–that sends SS a really strong message.  First, that you guys can be a swayed by bad behavior and second, she is the one in charge.

You’re not doing him any favors by forcing him to have a relationship with such an unstable person.  He needs stability and support.  I know it sucks to have to keep him from his mom, but it really sounds like a relationship with her is not a good thing for him right now.


Post # 12
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree that you can’t “make him talk” but you have to at least attempt since it is his mom. At the age of 6,  it’s still a lot to take in. My soon-to-be be stepsons are 6 and 7. They don’t even ask for their mom unless it’s been a month or so since they’ve spoken. She now gets them one night a month since we went to court and calls maybe once a week. The conversations are about 1 minute per child, but FH never tries to interfere. You have to try though.

Post # 13
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Your stepson is very lucky to have you and his father to take care of him.  His biological mother egg donor is less than a sorry excuse for a parent.  

Is it court mandated that SS talk to her on the phone or visit?  It sounds like he’s perfectly happy with you guys, and isn’t really interested in talking to her.  Unless you’re legally required to, I wouldn’t push it when she calls and he says no.

Post # 16
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

WOW, WOW, WOW. She sounds awful. It sounds like she is bitter and jealous.  Just remember that through all the BS and drama with her, that SS does love YOU, trust YOU and it will be obvious of those feelings once he’s old enough to see and understand the priorities and disfunction of his bio. mom.  You sound like a guardian angel for him, and he is lucky to have you.

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