Post # 1
Every morning, I wake up and walk to the kitchen, and BAM * dun dun dun* the kitchen looks as if there was tornado that decided to just pass right through the kitchen and leave the rest of house all alone. cerreal boxes on the counters, bread layin flat everywhere, dishes piled up etc etc. And none of it is from me! My SIL goes to college and my Mother-In-Law has doctors appointments in the morning, so I wake up to find a huge messy kitchen that I have to clean..:( Even when Mother-In-Law has no doctors appt and shes home but with her grandkids downstairs ( theyre renting basement ) I stll wake up to a messy kitchen to clean. 🙁 I study too btw but my courses are online. boo!
Post # 3
Why do you have to clean it? I would just let it sit there if I were you. I only clean up after DH and I!
Post # 4
@Mrsgurzakovic: Maybe try to set up a rotating schedule so that it isn’t too much of a burden for you. It’s not exactly considerate of them to do that to you. They are busy, yes, but I am sure they can account for five extra mins in the morning so they can at least put the darn box of cereal away!
Post # 5
Exactly! There is no way I would clean up after them!
Post # 6
See, I would love to just do that. I would love to just take care of my husband and no one else, but they have this ” family pact” that we all live together adn share everything together. Meaning, that awesome really yummy cereal I bought for myself a few days ago, is practically done because my Mother-In-Law likes to mix it in her cereal every day 🙂 when I told DH that I only take care of him he said ” No, your a part of this family now “
Post # 7
HAhaha dude, my sentiments exactly!
Post # 8
Is there anyway I can approach this without coming off as a bitc*?
Post # 9
Being a part of the family doesn’t mean you have to clean up after EVERYBODY! That’s not fair and I would talk to the offending ones, Mother-In-Law and SIL about cleaning their own messes. And about sharing the cereal… I would put my name on the box and that should tell them all to get their own!
Post # 10
LOL! ugh this is frustrating.. i just realized im a whimp! my DH always uses the excuse that his mom worked for 30 years… cleaning and how shes not as healthy as before. I understand that– but sheesh I cleaned all the friggi time when I lived with my own family now I feel like the only transition for me was I married LITERALLY into a family and stll cleaning up after a family that is not my own. I dont think ill be comfortble comfronting the sister ( she has a BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD attitude and can be extremely rude ) and his mom is a very nice woman but u can always feel like theres a little weird vibe between us sometimes when were in the kitchen or when it comes to her son lmfao.
Post # 11
Exactly, you’re a PART of the family. You do your part, they do theirs. If they are making a huge mess and not cleaning up, that does not mean your part is to be their maid. I’d clean up your mess, DH’s mess, and just to show you really do want to help, SOME of their mess. But then you need to be strong and not get taken advantage of. What does your MIL/SIL do around the house to clean up after you? If you completely clean up after yourself and they do nothing to help you out, how are you expected to do everything for them as well? Tell your DH that it’s a terrible mess every morning that they do nothing to help with and you’re BUSY. Just because classes are online does not mean you aren’t busy. Heck, some classes I’ve taken online have required me to do MORE work than my classes I went in for, because you have to teach yourself so much more.
I’m not sure what to tell you about them eating your food.. Do you eat theirs as well? That would annoy me so bad. My freshman year of college I’d buy myself food and one of my roommates would eat ALL of it before I had any… we definitely didn’t share anything besides bread/milk/eggs, so I started putting my special/expensive food in my room.
Hugs! I’m sorry your living arrangements are like this.. it would drive me nuts. How much longer are you going to be living with them? Any chance y’all are working your way out of there? Just because you’re new to the home doesn’t mean you get to be taken advantage of, which is what your MIL/SIL sound like they’re doing. I have a strong suspicion they wouldn’t leave such a mess if you didn’t live there…
Post # 12
sorry laadiies, had to delete this post just in case DH sees it. meh.
Post # 13
Why are you living with the Mother-In-Law and SIL and how long do you foresee this arrangement? I would not put up with messy people and clean up after them. Everybody should do their share. It sounds as if your husband is more concerned with his mom, than you and that is not OK. Sounds as if the living arrangements are affecting your marriage big-time. 🙁
Post # 14
This sounds like an awful living situation. Can you move out on your own?
Post # 15
So I saw this picture on pinterest and I love, love, love it. I am constantly cleaning up after my Fiance and his daughter (she’s 15 and helps out so much, so not really peeved at her). But maybe this would help?
If not, at least it might give you a few minutes of laughter.
On a more serious note, is this a cultural thing, or is this a temporary living situation? I can see that perhaps sucking it up for a little while is one thing, but I don’t see how this is fair to make you do this each time. I don’t like how your hubby is lecturing you either. I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but this is an equal partnership and if he wants you to feel like a queen and be sure to know that your Mother-In-Law and SIL are helping you out then maybe he needs to spend a week learning what you do to keep the house “ship shape.” While you are now part of the family, you are stil you and he doesn’t have any right to tel you to conform and lose sight of who you are. Sorry to be tough and I say this with a lot of kindness, so please don’t take this the wrong way. Just want you to feel supported.
Post # 16
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I can tell you from experience that if you leave it they will leave it longer. I have a roommate that is not nearly as clean as I am and the kitchen is the worst. He will cook a meal and leave all of the dishes in the sink and there it will sit until kingdom come. Even after I make sure to clean out the dishwasher and leave it cracked so he can see that it’s empty and ready to be filled with dirty dishes. My advice?
Deal with it. If you like things to be cleaned up you clean them up. You can say something to them about helping but honestly they will probably go right back to their old habits after a few days. If you absolutely cannot stand it then it’s time to move out. My FH and I are getting our own place after the current lease with this roommate expires. It’s way cheaper to live with a roommate but we are tired of playing Cinderella by always being the ones that clean up the house. We are both pretty clean and the mess level will significantly drop once we have our own place.