(Closed) The friend who should have been a bridesmaid, now what?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i dont know if it is tacky- i would just be up front and honest with her.  explain your reasonings about why you didn’t originally make her a bridesmaid, ask if she’d like to be one now, and if she says no, find another way to honor her on the day

Post # 4
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Can she do any readings?

Post # 5
23597 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Snowy414: I consciously had this problem too, but at 6 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen, 7 bridesmaids was out of the question!  I’m planning on asking my 7th “BM” to be my day-of wedding coordinator, since she got married years ago and knows the drill.  Can you ask her to do another important wedding day job, like coordinator or usher?  Something in the wedding so she doesn’t feel left out!

Post # 6
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I had the same problem.  She will be doing a reading (and is really excited about it) and I made sure I got her a special gift and wrote her a heartfelt note.  She will also be catching up with my bridesmaids and I for mani/pedis the day before the wedding.

Post # 7
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

This is where you insert a personal attendent! she can be recognized and be with you all day, and not have to stand in a line.  another option (one I am doing) is  having a female usher or usherette as we now call her! she is someone important to us and our wedding so we gave her that job, are getting to choose close that match the wedding without being a bridesmaid and will be included in pictures and the like!


Post # 9
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I see no reason why  you cant ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, just be honest with her about it like pp said.

Post # 10
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I asked 3 of my bridesmaids in March when I got engaged- then in December I asked 2 other girls with whom I was super close with.  I let them know we were planning a smaller bridal party but the more I thought about it, I didn’t want to get married without them standing there next to me!  They were so touched they both said yes and started crying which caused me to cry!  (We were also sitting in the middle of a bar- crying!  LOL!)

Post # 11
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would just ask her anyway.

Post # 12
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would ask her! I had this same issue when I got married. I had asked my fiance’s close female cousin, kind of out of obligation and she ended up never ordering her dress or wanting to participate in anything. I asked the cousin to step down (in a nice way of course). I then explained this to my good friend that I originally would have asked, and let her know she wasn’t an afterthought and I would love to have her stand beside on my wedding day. It worked out beautifully and she was so honored.

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