Post # 1
Bit of background for this story – My FH and I are from different religious backgrounds.. FH parents are divorced and the FOG is a strong Jehovahs witness.
My parents are on the other hand are strong Baptist Christians (my dad is a minister). However since I met my FH my parents have been nothing but accepting of my decisions and bending over backwards for my FH, they treat him like their son already. my mum thinks he is the gem and i do too! regardless of our differant upbringings.
However its complete opposite with FHs father.. Stone cold and for the first time since meeting him i have never felt more unwelcome. I dont know if i have offended him or if its just religion. FH and I cannot think what I may have done for me to be treated the way i have. FHs grandparents however think im great, I get along with them fine.
So FH and i have been dating for over 2 years, engaged since july.. FOG has not met my parents yet… which i find EXTREMELY WIERD!
My parents have extended the olive branch but all they get is a cold shoulder..
My FH visited his father this morning as the FOG has returned from holidays in hawaii…to welcome him back and FH asked him if he would be coming to the wedding.. in which he replied.. not sure..
My FH has never been more hurt or offended by this comment, I dont think my parents will even meet him before the wedding. Its really sad.
So today my FH was in a gloom with a cloud over his head.
I just dont know what to do…… really gets me down to see someone or anyone hurt by someones actions.
Anyway sorry needed to get it out and am i being insane to think there is maybe something wrong with me? or is it just him??
Post # 3
Whether it’s your religion or something else that has made him act this way, please don’t believe that there is something wrong with you. There’s NOT!
I’m sure that as the wedding gets closer, he will just have to suck it up and get over it. No parent wants to miss their child’s wedding day, so I’m sure he will come around.
Many hugs sent your way, and I hope that your FH’s dad comes around. But you can’t force it, so just remind yourself that it isn’t your fault…he will have to learn acceptance.
Post # 4
aww ta, I just got off the phone to my dad and he said that theres nothing you can do but keep smiling. In the end the FOG is missing the best day of his sons life so its his loss, you cant get it back. He told me to just keep my chin up and my mum piped up in the background (if hes not coming does that mean we can invite one more friend of ours?) ah what a crack up.
Im now of the resolution that whatever FOG does hes the one that misses out. and FH just agreed and hopefully FOG will come around, and our family will be accepting. just a pity he puts people through hurt first tho.
Post # 5
I feel so sorry for your fiance. It’s horrible when parents can’t support their children. Keep planning your wedding and send FOG an invitation. Whether or not he comes, you’ll celebrate with those who love you and want to be there.
Post # 6
Is your Fh going to talk to his dad about what’s eating him? That would be the best way to figure this out. My guess is that if your Future Father-In-Law is pretty religious, that this is about religion. How intoo being a JW is your FI? I’m thinking if you have a strong Baptist background, your FFIl is concerned your Fiance is going to convert. Is your wedding JW friendly? Or mostly a Baptist ceremony?
I obviously can’t say. But I think if your Fiance talks to him, it would help. (Particualrly if your Fiance plans to remain a JW.) And have you planned how you’d raise the kids? He might be worried about that too.
Post # 7
FH tried but deemed talking to him like talking to a brick wall. FH has now the attitude of whatever…
FH isnt jehovahs witness anymore and I dont go to church. Our wedding we have made non religious by having it in a garden ceremony – to please both parents without offending the other and there are no bible readings or prayers. And were having my aunty who is a celebrant doing the wedding and not my father. Just to please the FOG.
My parents are cruisy and they probably wouldnt care where it was. I doubt he thinks i could convert him, I just dont think maybe that he wants to be involved?? or that he doesnt really care?