(Closed) The Get-Your-Man-To-Marry-You-Plan–Buying the Cow in the Age of free Milk

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Just because we are still waiting for our ring doesn’t mean we are in dead-end relationships!

Post # 4
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Mine’s definitely NOT dead..not by a long shot!  I may whine and moan that I don’t have it yet, but we’re awesome…and still amazingly in love! 

 

Post # 5
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I so agree with everyone else. My relationship is pretty darn great!

Dead end relationship? Wow.

Post # 6
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think Lisalulu meant that she was not in a good relationship before, but she found one that was.  I don’t think she meant that people who are waiting are in a dead end relationship, just that her past relationship wasn’t going anywhere….

Post # 7
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Why Men marry Bitches? Wow! Is that really the title? I had no idea that they wrote a book about my relationship. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I haven’t read either book – but I guarantee you being a slight bitch (I call it proactive) definitely helped move things along in the marriage department. If getting married is important to you stick to your guns and don’t accept any excuses or non-responses.

Post # 9
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Eh.  They aren’t for me, although I have a friend (who desperately wants to settle down) who has really enjoyed Why Men Marry Bitches.  I find myself disagreeing with a lot of what she’s quoted to me from it and in her case believe that she’ll find happiness in the rest of her life once she’s happy with herself.  Easier said than done though.  I think those sorts of books are so popular because it’s much easier to follow a formula of "don’t call him for x days" or "pretend you’re busy even if you’re wallowing at home eating Ben & Jerry’s" than focusing yourself and stopping the frantic search because the clock is ticking. 

I never quite understood the "why buy the milk" line of thinking anyways.  I don’t want someone to marry me just because I’ve been holding out on them!  I want to marry the guy who has seen ALL of me and yet still wants to spend the rest of his with me. 

Just my two cents. 

Post # 10
Member
18 posts
Newbee

I was interested by this post so I Googled the book – here’s the "List of Dos and Donts" in bullet point summary for lazy people like me!

http://www.nypost.com/seven/10072008/entertainment/make_your_moove_132458.htm

Note – click on the link and it will say File Not Found, then click again and it pops up – don’t know why!

Seems fine but nothing earth shattering there for me. I do like the fact that she doesn’t go the old "pretend you don’t want to get married and play super hard to get!" route, ala ‘The Rules’. I think it has become this myth in popular culture that this is The Way to get a guy and I’ve found it to be so not true in my relationship. Some guys may love a good chase and some guys need you to be up-front about advancing the relationship – I feel like in my case anytime things have gotten more serious it’s because we’ve had an open and honest talk about what we wanted.

Post # 11
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I just don’t get why people read these books. They are all crap!

Post # 13
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I may be towards the official end of waiting but it was CLEAR from the get go what my guy wanted to do with his life.

On our first date he said he wasn’t interested in serial dating, that he wanted to find the woman he wanted to marry and spend the rest of his life with and if I was (because I was divorced and hadn’t dated around a terribly lot) wanting to just date him and date around, that maybe I would want somebody else.

WHEW!  We sure got that out of the way quickly!  

Post # 14
Member
217 posts
Helper bee

It makes me sad for the men when I hear about friends full on planning their weddings when they haven’t been proposed to yet. Getting disappointed with each passing holiday, vacation, etc.. that they don’t have a ring and official proposal. Seriously, that’s a ton of pressure! I can’t imagine that in my face EVERY day. It would almost make me want to run in the opposite direction!

Post # 15
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@YSAP2M – I think it’s important to note that a lot of the girls in "waiting" are people who have discussed marriage with their partner, and in most cases the guy has already got the ring, they just haven’t popped the question yet.  If he’s already planning a proposal, how is that pressure? 

Post # 16
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

mandalynn17, it’s true that’s the case for a lot of girls, but not all of them.  I think YSAP2M also has a point (especially considering the books that are the topic of this post.)

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