Post # 1
SO and I were hanging out with my cousin again last night (sadly she left to fly back home this morning) and again she brought up the topic of the ring. SO has been a bit shady about it but I’ve assumed it’s coming between now and Vday… now I know the truth.
The Bad: SO does not have the ring, the ‘mock up’ he had been talking about was just a design that he likes and wants to design my ring after. SO does not plan on proposing for Christmas. He still wants us to be in a more stable position. He has not talked to my parents about his intentions, but he will when he has the ring.
The Good: SO and I talked about the design of my future ring and he listened to me! He knows that Purple is my favorite color and I told him that I was open to a gemstone center stone and he’s been looking into Heart Cut Tanzanites :-D. He also agrees with me that nothing should go around the heart as it would detract from the unique shape of the stone 😀 (I love this man!)
and I’m Ugly: Well I really am when I cry, and I was doing alot of crying last night. My Parents were arguing with me and trying not to put up a Christmas Tree (Which they know I adore), SO calmed me down after that, then when we dropped my Cousin off at her Aunt’s house I was sad to see her go since I only get to see her once or twice a year, Again SO calmed me down after that and then we took a drive and talked about how the ring is not going to be my Christmas Present 🙁 I was an emotional wreck last night. I understand his points, but I also know the reality is pretty slim that I will get a job and/or he will get a significant raise in the next 6 months. So our future wedding date is out the window, my Biological Clock is ticking away, and with it our chance of having kids. (I have PCOS and it will be hard to conceive as it is, add in advanced age and I may never be able to have a child) Sigh, So unless he was lying through his teeth I’m not going to have a sparkly Tanzanite ring for Christmas 🙁 But I still love the man lol
Post # 3
@annasaf83: Aw, Anna, I’m so sorry that you feel this way. Waiting is hard!!! I’m engaged but I’m waiting for my ring. That’s also hard. We get married in 4 months! We are paying for the wedding all by ourselves, so the ring is not priority–the wedding is, but that still doesn’t mean that waiting for the actual ring isn’t hard.
I have PCOS too! You seriously have to go to PCOSChallenge.com to get support. PCOS ladies have it hard, but I have hope. I also learned a lot from their radio and tv shows at PCOS.tv. Definitely check it out.
Post # 4
Ahh sounds like your on an emotional rollercoaster at the moment, I can relate. But just out of curiosity, why would your SO talk about that you should not expect your ring at Christmas, after having to console you twice earlier in the day, that seems a bit insensitive on his part 🙁
I really hope you have your proposal soon, but it’s good he is listening to what kind of ring you would like 🙂
Post # 5
@annasaf83: Big hugs to you. we all have our shit days. I have PCOS and I have a daughter, anything is possible 🙂 Weddings and rings don’t need to cost the earth, can you compromise on price or quality or contribute, or something to bring it forward?
Try to still have an awesome Christmas! x
Post # 6
@sunrunner: The cost of the ring & wedding doesn’t seem to be the issue, it’s the lack of financial stability. He makes nearly $50k/year but says that we need $80k/year to survive. I’m currently working as a part time nanny and looking for something full time in my field (Computer Graphics) He’s also looking for a better job, but every area has been hit by the recession and I doubt he’d be able to find anything that pays what he wants to make.
Post # 7
Aww!! I am so sorry to hear that. I am sure he just needs to work through some things.
How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? If I go by your screen name of ’83, you should be 28 right now. So that’s still not very old even with PCOS.
If the baby-making is really what is bothering you, then think abt it… If your SO feels you two cannot afford to survive on what he currently makes, how do you think he will feel if you throw the baby in the mix? I know it is not your fault that you have PCOS. But I feel that your SO is sh*t scared that as soon as he pops the question, you are gonna want to pop out a baby. (which is COMPLETELY understandable given your condition) but he is scared from a financial standpoint. It’s a VERY SCARY feeling for any man not to be able to provide for his family.
Turn your issues into a positive thing… Stop worrying abt the ring and start worrying about getting a better job to support your future child. That will sound more meaningful to you in your own head to push you hard enough. Ya, I know that you need a ring, then a marriage, then the baby. You should still do it that way, however think about what’s more meaningful than a ring and/or marriage: your child.