(Closed) The Good, The Bad and The Ugly….

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 19
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I was 15. Aside from “dontgetmepregnant” when it was over (all 45 seconds of it) I was just thinking, “That was it? That’s what the big deal is all about?” I found it to be extremely boring and not worth the hype at all. 


With FH, I TOTALLY get what the hype is all about lol

Post # 20
293 posts
Helper bee

I was 18, it was sweet. Frasier was on tv over his shoulder! 

It didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t amazing either. We soon fixed that by practicing lots. And lots, and lots and lots! 

Post # 21
13095 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Our first time was on the futon in DH’s fraternity room after we’d been dating somewhere between 2 and 3 months (I was 20).  It was my first time and was definitely the first time I felt comfortable enough with someone else to even consider sex!  I was a little nervous and had had a couple of drinks to calm my nerves (I wasn’t drunk, just barely buzzed and a bit more relaxed).  DH tried to turn me down at first because he thought I’d had more to drink than what I had and he didn’t want my first time to be while I was intoxicated.

It was a little awkward at first simply because I had no idea what I was doing and Darling Husband wasn’t very experienced either (he’d had sex maybe 3 or 4 times before me).  But once we got going, it was actually very enjoyable sex.  We’ve since improved and it is even better now but I wasn’t one of those people who’s first time was just bad.

Post # 22
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I was 22 and with my now Fiance. I had never planned to wait that long and I was actively trying to have sex for years, but there weren’t any takers 😛 However, I had an amazing first time. It was on our fourth date (once I found him, I didn’t hang around!) at his flat. It didn’t hurt much at all, he was so in touch with me and so careful. It was only after it that we realised I had bled all over his bed. I had no idea I could bleed so much without being aware of it!

Post # 24
10713 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was 17, it hurt terribly the entire time which was about an hour. UGH. We were both virgins and though he tried to make it sweet lighting hundreds of candles and making us a special bed on the floor because mine was squeaky, it was still awkward. He was my first everything too including my first kiss lol. We were together for 2 years during high school (we did the deed after 6 months of dating) and we have a son together which was not from our 1st time together but were still friends. hehe

Post # 25
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Haha, these stories are great! I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who had an “off” first time.

I was 17 and a senior in high school. I skipped school that day for the main reason that I just didn’t feel like going. My boyfriend (high school sweetheart) went to another school close by. he usually always called me during lunch because we had lunch at the same time. I told him I skipped school and he asked if he could come over. I was home alone and said ABSOLUTLY!

He came over and we were watching TV in my room. We were dating for 6 months at this point and all of the good girls wait 6 months before they had sex so I was ready. We just made out and stuff and I didn’t even take my shirt off, which was a hot pink Ramones tshirt from Hot Topic. 

He put it in and I screamed holy shit, he pumped twice and I told him to get out because I literally felt like I was being torn in two. He had already came at that point and that was it. He literally glowed for like 2 weeks and I was sore as hell. it eventually got better but it took a long time. Then he cheated on me when I was 19 and I started dating my husband a few months later and THAT was always damn good.

Post # 26
3112 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@Nona99:  mine was so so long ago- January 4, 1995! I was just 16 And we were dating all of 6 days. I only have vague memories of him having the smelliest feet on he planet- no lie his socks were stained yellow. I think it hurt maybe? I know we didn’t do it for like 2 months after that because I wanted to go on the pill and thought I needed time to let it kick in. We ended up beig together for 3 years somehow. 

Edit: he was 18 and had his own place. He was having a party and we somehow ended up upstairs away from the party. I do remember he went downstairs to get a condom from someone. 

Post # 28
9951 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Mid 1970s… and I was in my first year of College.  It was my “regular” boyfriend of the time (we’d been together since the Fall), and it was my 18th Birthday… we waited on purpose til I was 18 (and legal) because I very much wanted to not do it while I was still technically “a ward” of my Parents.

Boyfriend and I had been “sleeping” (literally) together for months, in the basement “love nest” of the home he shared with his Divorced Father.

Lol, and it was another Water Bed Romance… satin sheets, candles, the works.  It wasn’t a fabulous experience in that it was indeed painful… and I don’t recall a lot of foreplay.  BUT it was a decent way to begin my love life and being an adult.


We dated for some time afterwards, and had planned to resume our relationship after summer break… BUT then he had a Summer fling (as boys are sometimes prone to do when having recently discovered sex, and their regular Girlfriend is not around).  That really hurt me emotionally (of course I had been faithful and pined for him all Summer long).  Never saw him again after the break-up… and he went off to live with his Summer fling.

Several years later when I was engaged to be married, he wrote a letter to my Parent’s Home (looking for me)… said he was sad, lonely and screwed up.  And not very happy with the relationship he was still in… by then tho it was tooo late.  I was on my way to the alter, never wrote him back.  I sometimes wonder now what became of him.

PS.. He spoiled me, in that I was a girl who was very much wrapped up in the idea that sex was supposed to be all about “the romance”… for years, I always wanted sex to be set “romantically”… when in reality, that isn’t always the case.  Still tho it is my favourite way.


Post # 30
2755 posts
Sugar bee

My “first time” kinda extended into 3-4 attempts over a span of a couple of weeks. I used to suffer from vaginismus, so sex seemed like an impossible feat at first. I was with my ex for over a year before we got to the point where I felt comfortable trying. I worked my way up to it by using tampons first (I was 21 the first time I successfully inserted a tampon), then practicing with a small vibrator. And it still hurt IMMENSELY.

We tried 3-4 times before he was able to fully penetrate, and it was still about 3-4 months of regular sex before I stopped experiencing pain every time. Took even longer for me to not completely tense up when he tried using his fingers.

However, 4 years later I am happy to say I no longer have any issues whatsoever and have completely overcome my vaginismus. I used to think I’d never be able to have sex, but thanks to a really patient first partner that’s totally under the bridge.

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