(Closed) The grass is always greener- Long but interesting- Please help!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2014

You would never marry someone just for money that would be silly! But no wonder you’re thinking about it, the lifestyle that your sister said you could have does sound amazing so im not suprised the thought popped into your head. But of course you’ve made the right decision love is much important than money any day!

 

Post # 5
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@bimmy:  hahaa loving how blunt you are about his ugliness, you’re scared of the unknown and that’s normal and im sure it’ll all pass once you’re happily married Laughing

Post # 7
Member
11270 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@bimmy:  i would choose love over money any day.  trust me money cannot buy happiness.  i was there and completely miserable.  now, i have never been happier. 

Post # 9
Member
6222 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

It’s normal to be nervous about the future, and the other guy would give you no financial worries. He would open up a whole box of new ones, though

Post # 10
Member
11270 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@bimmy:  thanks.  always follow your heart.

Post # 12
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@bimmy:  Money is not everything.  What good would it have done you to become the rich man’s wife if you did not love him and/or he didn’t love you?  For the record, my husband and I are in a very similar position–we can’t afford a house right now or to go on trips anywhere even though both of these things are major dreams of mine and sometimes I envy other people who get to have them.  I also could have been a rich man’s wife a few years ago but I honestly wasn’t with him for his money (as I actually did love him with all of my heart, believe it or not) and even though that man spoiled me with lots of expensive gifts, things did not work out between us (mostly because of his abusive father) and there is no amount of money that would have made it worth it for me to stay with him.  The girl who is with your brother-in-law’s cousin now might be spoiled by him, but his money may very well be the only thing he does for her.  The lesson I learned from my ex is that someone can spoil you with material things and yet still not give you the things you actually need in a relationship.  Nothing my ex ever bought me mattered when it came to him allowing his father to abuse me. 

My husband and I don’t have much, but he makes me so happier than my ex ever did because the things he gives me (love, understanding, compassion, protection, respect, etc.) are so much more important than material things.   However, just like you, everything I do have, I worked for and earned myself, and I take pride in that–so will you.  If I had to choose between my husband and my ex, there is no question of which I would choose because I know which one treated me better and which one I will be happy to spend my life with regardless of what we have or don’t have.  You will soon realize that you are making the right choice with your fiance. 🙂

Just remember that the grass is NOT always actually greener on the other side, and if you actually go over to the other side to experience it, you may be quite disappointed with what you find there and it may be too late to go back to the side you originally came from.

Post # 13
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your sister…. is kind of being a jerk :/ You definitely made the right decision. Tune her out. It’s women like her that make us look bad 😛

Post # 14
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

you’re sister sounds quite materialistic.  Money does not buy happiness.  I’d rather be broke living on the streets with my Fiance then with my super rich ex who was a total jackass.  At the end of your life, when you’re lying on your death bed, it’s not going to matter WHAT material possessions you had or HOW MUCH money you had, it will be about the PEOPLE you surrounded yourself with.  

And maybe your sister’s husband is rich and she lives a great life, but honestly it doesn’t sound like she is all that happy in her marriage.  I feel sad for your sister that she may have married smoeone she didn’t truly love.  My friend once told me she didn’t believe in soulmates. She felt there were lots of “decent” guys out there that you could find to “live with and be pretty much happy” so you should just find a guy that “can take care of you and who you can live with”  I feel sad for her knowing she didn’t find her soulmate and true love because I have, and no amount of money would ever change that. 

Post # 15
Member
5107 posts
Bee Keeper

@ilovecats:  I agree!

She is playing on your emotions, painting a picture that may or may not be the case. GL with everything, what you are feeling is normal! Do what you feel is right!

Post # 16
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsWBS:  Agreed.  For a long time, I was of the same opinion as your friend–that the whole concept of a soul mate was nothing but pure nonsense and that you should be lucky enough just to find a guy who treats you right.  Then I met my husband and let’s just say he changed all of that.  He truly is my soul mate and there is not a single moment that I ever doubt it.  I’m lucky to have found him at last and I would choose him over any wealthy man without hesitation.  Except perhaps Roy Orbison!  I (jokingly) warned my husband that if Roy Orbison were alive and asked me to marry him, I would be gone in a heartbeat. LOL

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