(Closed) The Great Bar Debate!

posted 10 years ago in Food
  • poll: Pick Your Poison
    Open Bar : (123 votes)
    45 %
    Cash Bar : (23 votes)
    8 %
    Cocktail Hour Open Bar : (18 votes)
    7 %
    Beer/Wine/Signature Drink : (96 votes)
    35 %
    Dry : (5 votes)
    2 %
    Other : (7 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 77
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We’re doing open bar plus a signature cocktail.  This was actually one of our biggest budget priorities.  I could’ve skipped a lot of things and been ok with it.  But open bar wasn’t one of them.

    Post # 78
    Member
    2249 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2019

    i think people need to remember- the reception is just a party! if i went to a birthday party at a restaurant or something and brought a gift I wouldn’t be offended at having to buy my own drinks! the only time i think a cash bar is a problem is if an open bar is customary and guests are not informed. I went to one wedding where this was the case and I didn’t have time to go get cash, and I didn’t budget any drinks in for the weekend anyway, since I didn’t know. I think if you do what you can to throw a good party then it is good!

    I think people get carried away with expecting things at weddings! I think if you really can’t have any fun without alcohol, maybe the problem is you!

    Post # 79
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Yeah I should edit my comment to say there’s definitely nothing wrong with not having an open bar.  It’s just what we wanted for ourselves and our hard-partying circle of friends.

    Post # 80
    Member
    1509 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think that this has a lot to do with knowing your guests. 

    Personally, I think that a cash bar is increadibly tacky.  If you can’t afford do to at least beer & wine only, you are at a reception venue that is too expensive for your budget.  After guests have already purchased a gift for you, they shouldn’t also be expected to pay for their enjoyment at the reception.

    That said, if you think that there is going to be a problem with everyone getting drunk, why not talk to your venue about cutting people off when they have too much to drink?  Also, if cost is an issue, do beer & wine only or maybe that plus a signature drink.

    I can’t imagine going to a dry wedding.  That may be the only thing worse than a cash bar reception, which I think is super tacky.

    Post # 81
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    WOW Chillmer I could not have said it better!!Wink

    Post # 82
    Member
    2344 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Mrs. Louboutin: Thanks for sharing your honest opinion. I have to admit, however, I bristled at it. Our (brunch) reception is dry and it would break my heart to think that our guests would be as offended and unhappy as you clearly would be if you were a guest. There are plenty of reasons we’re doing this, but none of them are that we are cheap. However, I don’t think that we should have to put on the menu a disclaimer: “We aren’t serving alcohol because half our guests are vehemently opposed for religious reasons and would leave. It has nothing to do with us being cheap. Please do not resent our nice flowers.” I would hope our guests would not be so tacky as to make assumptions and judgments, and instead enjoy all the other festivities we have so painstakingly planned for them.

    Post # 83
    Member
    681 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2019

    We provided our guests with beer, wine, and champagne. The restaurant where our reception was has a very large bar though, so we had them put away all of the liquor bottles. Ultimately I decided to allow guests to purchase mixed drinks, by request only. I went back and forth on this. My parents were all for paying for liquor too, but I wanted more of a wine “dinner party w/ dancing” feel. While I didn’t want to enable our big drinkers to get crazy with liquor I didn’t think it was my place to tell an adult that they could not have a rum and coke, etc. Most guests were perfectly happy with what we provided but for those who had to have a mixed drink, they were perfectly fine paying up. This worked perfectly to control our group while still allowing for everyone to have a drink or two, or three…

    Post # 84
    Member
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I think a lot of people assume that a cash bar means the bride and groom are being cheap…those people probably have a lot of money to spend.  For those who live in the midwest, or in other areas where a cash bar is the norm, fear not.  That sentiment isn’t shared by everyone!  There are many reasons to have a cash bar, and any guest rude enough to judge you for their bingeing will hopefully not mention it to you!

    Post # 86
    Member
    1067 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Our package comes with a 2hour hosted bar. Our venue wanted to start that exactly at 6pm but we thought that would not be a good idea because the cermony ended at 6 and then there’s a few minutes of congratulations before guests make there way in to the cocktail lounge so it waste the hosted bar time! so we worked it out so we can have an amount bar starting at 6pm; Fiance and I will put down 750 for beer and wine only (which is actually only about 500 in drinks after tax and stupid 20% service charge) and once the amount runs out then the 2 hour hosted bar opens. Soda is unlimited all night thankfully!

    Post # 87
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We’re doing beer/wine and 2 signature drinks. But I’m still worried some guests will be disappointed.

    Post # 88
    Member
    604 posts
    Busy bee

    My So’s cousin had a cash bar for the cocktail hour and then an open bar, which was included in the price, which I think was great. It was a great feel there weren’t any drunkards running around or anything of the such. Weddings are expensive and in this economy if people are worried about whether bride and groom or whomever was “cheap ” as not to have open bar then you shouldn’t have extended an invite to that selfish person or the should have helped pay for said wedding lol Sometimes you have to be ruthless and just be like this is what can and will be offered take it or leave it.

    Post # 89
    Member
    3871 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

     I think they are all appropriate given your budget, your guests, the size of your wedding and the formality of your wedding.

    I had a open bar but did not pay a per person rate.  I had a venue that allowed me to bring my own alcohol and only had to pay for bartenders.  If I couldn’t do that, I would have probably had to do have a limited open bar… for an hour or two.  Couldn’t afford any longer. 

    ETA: Oh, and of course location.

    Post # 90
    Member
    7172 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    We are doing a hosted open bar.  This wasn’t even an option for either one of us.  We and our friends like to drink and I personally believe that as the host of a party, you should foot the bill for drinks.  I know that prices are insane (the price for booze is the same for food per person) so, we took that into account when choosing our venue.

     

    Post # 91
    Member
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Oh I should mention that we paid for an open bar for 4 hours which came complete with our signature cocktails.  But “open bar” was limited to a certain selection of liquors so if someone wanted something that wasn’t on the list they had to pay for it themself.  We thought that was a good compromise!

    The topic ‘The Great Bar Debate!’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors