(Closed) the great diaper debate! and other baby needs

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Ms_Meringue:  I’m a strong believer in breastfeeding if possible. And I enjoyed it too. In my culture (Australia) it’s odd to hear of “give it a go” – rather, here it is encouraged as healthier and normal.

For diapers, we used a mixture of cloth and disposable on our first (kind of like you’re thinking, disposable when we were out), but then always disposable on our other two. Disposables are such a time saver.

Post # 4
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Ms_Meringue:  I’m a FTM with a now 3 week old exclusively breast fed baby. My opinion on diapers would be disposable all the way. I already have SO much extra laundry, and I wouldn’t want to add poopy cloths to it. Dear Daughter goes through so many diapers a day, sometimes dirtying one within 2 minutes of having a diaper change. Cloth diapers just don’t make sense to me.

I’m not going to lie, BFing is extremely challenging (at least for me and many others). The only reason I am still doing it is because I am 100% commited to it, and I have a lot of support. There have been timed where I have been tempted to use formula, and I believe that if you’re not going into BFing positive that you want to do it, it probably won’t work out. It would be very hard to have a partner who didn’t fully support BFing as well because any time you are questioning yourself, it won’t help to have someone pushing for formula. 

Post # 5
2652 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

@Ms_Meringue:  You’re nesting. I’m nesting right now too and my husband totally doesn’t get it. I ask him to do something for me while I’m out because it’s bugging my pregnant brain and he doesn’t have it done by the time I’m home and the hormones make me cry about it! So ridiculous!

We’re planning to cloth diaper our LO when he/she arrives next month. How much have you looked into it so far? There are so many different types of cloth diapers now. Some are old school (like flats and prefolds with covers) and some are as easy as disposables that you wash (All-in-Ones or AIOs). There are options in between too. I know several people who like pocket diapers because you can stuff them to suit your absorbency needs, but other than the stuffing they’re as fast and simple as the AIOs.

Darling Husband and I have stocked up on prefolds and flats with covers. We have 26 NB/S prefolds and flats are customizable to any size. We also have 8 covers (they’re reusable from diaper to diaper). We’re closing them up with snappis rather than pins too because pins scare me.

We also have a small apartment (1 bedroom) with only 2 washer machines for the entire building. We bought a portable washer machine that hooks up to our kitchen tap so that we could wash diapers more conveniently.

With cloth diapers you shouldn’t use zinc based diaper creams or certain detergents because they’ll cause residue buildup and the diapers will start to repel rather than absorb. We’re going to use Nellie’s Laundry Soda and Dimpleskins BumBum Balm, but I don’t know if those are available in France. You can also make your own with many recipes available online. I recommend trying to find a local cloth diapering group on facebook or something and that will help you figure out what’s available for you :).

For lots more cloth diapering info, here’s my cloth diapering pinterest board: http://www.pinterest.com/rose1414/cloth-diapering/. And feel free to ask me any questions!

ETA: Forgot to mention, for the smells, they make these bags for keeping your dirty diapers in that are called wet bags and those work and are washable. There are also diaper pails for cloth diapering.

Post # 6
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Ms_Meringue:  I love my cloth diapers!!! I have pockets, onesize fits diapers in many brands. I used them on both kids (now 3 and 2) My 2 year old is potty training and he still usees them.

My daughter had super sensative skin and the disposables were wreaking havoc! The cloth were a lifesaver. I got fired after my then bosses found out I was pregnant (I sued and won). I was limited when it came to cash and the cloth was one of my best decisions.

I washed every other day. I would put them in the machine before I go to bed (to soak), complete the wash cycle in the morning and then hang out (I don’t own a dryer… I have the Caribbean sun). I eventually got a job and was doing some studies in the evening but it was still okay.  

Your SO probably thought you were planning on using the vintage diapers our grandmas used. You should find a video on youtube about mordern cloth diapers so he could learn about them.

I live in the Caribbean and EVERYONE thought I was nuts to even consider them but I have convinced a lot of folks around me to use them. My sis is now using them on her 3 month old. I have used disposables occasionally with my son only if I didn’t have the time to wash. I love em!

Post # 7
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2000

I’m not trying to concieve, but I do know that as an 80s kid, I was formula fed. My mother also cited low breast milk. My older sister just kept losing weight when she tried and I think that really put her off even attempting with me. 

As for cloth diapers, she used this fantastic thing called the Tidee Didee Service. They picked up the old while delivering freshly laundered new and made sure you had enough pins (pre widesperead use of velcro, people!). Great for a busy mother.

I’m pretty sure these services faded out of use, but seems like someone would set them back up again. Plenty of people think “I’d love to, but the laundry!”

Post # 8
2652 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

 @Bette_Noire:  There are still diaper services in my area! 🙂

Post # 9
3696 posts
Sugar bee

Agreed that your SO’s opinions are probably based on out-of-date ideas and a lack of knowledge about the advantages of BFing and cloth diapering. We are all prone to assuming that “the way I did/do things is the best way” and “anything new and unfamiliar is probably different and wrong,” so that’s a big part of what’s going on with your husband. And he probably has no idea that modern cloth diapers are a far cry from the old safety-pinned ones from earlier days, or that you can use a disposable liner with a cloth diaper and just flush the solid waste instead of having bundles of it sitting in a stinky trash bag  – like you do with disposables!

I would say first check out what’s available in France, and see if there are organizations, groups, communities of other young moms that can give you support. We are lucky to live in a city with a good cloth-diapering community and a store that has great resources, and that makes a huge difference.

Your SO might also be interested to learn about the cost benefit of cloth. With disposables, depending on where you are, you might be looking at paying around $2500 from birth to potty-training for, basically, the privilege of throwing away baby poo. (And I have no idea how France might compare, cost-wise – the numbers I’ve looked at have all been US/Canada based.) Cloth comes with a bigger up-front investment as you buy the diapers, etc., and requires a bit more time and a little learning curve at the beginning, but it results in significant cost (and environmental!) savings over time and it is often better for baby’s skin as well. Squawkfox has a great post where she crunches some numbers to give you an idea of how it shakes out – your SO might be more interested after reading that. (Check out the links to other pages on that site for more info on the different types and options for cloth diapers, etc.)

And, one other thing to keep in mind: “Don’t let the perfect become the enemy of the good.” Meaning that with things like cloth diapering, breastfeeding, etc., it’s very easy to get sucked into these polarizing, all-or-nothing camps, but in reality it might work best for your family to cloth diaper at home but occasionally use disposables when out-and-about, traveling, etc. And exclusive breast feeding is great, but if you manage to breastfeed even part of the time but have to supplement with formula, or pump and give bottled breastmilk some of the time, that is not a failure, it’s still something to be proud of (especially as you’re trying to juggle raising a newborn in a foreign country!) Best of luck to you!

Post # 10
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

@Ms_Meringue:  Take this with a grain of salt, because I’m not a mom yet! Nor am I pregnant haha. But I really feel for you, because I would be just as frustrated if my husband was adamantly opposed to b-feeding and cloth diapers. 

I read this article from Young House Love awhile ago, and it has a TON of information about cloth diapers. I have a couple friends that use that same brand and are really happy with them. The most helpful tip I found in that whole blog post was how they bought the shower sprayer attachment to help spray off the diapers before they throw them in the laundry – that sounds like it must make the task so much less stinky.

I really really hope that we can use cloth diapers when we have kids, because they’re so much more economical in the long-run and I can’t bear how much waste is created in landfills by thousands of disposable diapers. Totally understand how they are helpful when you’re away from home, and how most parents use disposable diapers for the first couple months – but I hope we can make the transition to cloth diapers for the most part.

Has your husband read any baby books? Maybe you can find a couple books that are geared towards dads, to help him understand the pros and cons of b-feeding, cloth diapering, etc. A lot of our friends that are dads have warmed up to a lot of different things from reading baby books, I think it helps lend credibility to various parenting ideas if that’s how you want to sway him 🙂

Post # 11
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2000

@ScottishMrs:  That’s so cool! I think that particular company is still in business, they just massively scaled back their area of service.

@Mrs. Wallaby Funny, I thought about YHL as a great real-world go to reference on that topic too!

Again, I’m not trying to concieve, but I am a big beliver in parents (or to-bes) getting whatever info they need to make the best informed choices for themselves. Here in Ireland, breastfeeding isn’t that big, either (I don’t think. Myself and my friends are all the right age, but having children doesn’t seem to be in the water just yet). You do see the ocassional Irish article encouraging it, though.

Post # 12
3115 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@Mrs. Wallaby:  I’m 37w pregnant and never once truly considered cloth diaperin until I read that article. They maek it seem so simple! Thanks!

Post # 13
9811 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m about 23 weeks pregnant.  Breastfeeding was always the plan for us.  We were both breasted as babies but even if he wasn’t, I don’t think he’d be pro-formula.  Besides that fact that it’s generally thought to be better for the baby, why would I PAY $$$ for something I produce for FREE?!  Now I know there is equipment needed if you want to pump, but my insurance pays for that.  And I know it’s a lot of work, but I think it would be worth it.

I would love to cloth diaper but I’m holding out on a final decision until I can get day care settled.  I don’t want to spend a lot of $ on cloth if I’m not able to use them all day at daycare.  It’s not as much about the cost for me as much as it makes me cringe to think of throwing 3000 diapers a year into the landfill.  I’m still planning on doing a bit of both at the least.

Post # 14
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

@mamadingdong:  Sure thing girl, good luck!

Post # 15
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

For those that went the cloth diaper route – were there any problems with daycare?  I will be going back to work once my baby is about four months old and I was wondering if daycare providers will deal with cloth diapers or if they require disposables.

Post # 16
11165 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Our baby is due in August and my Darling Husband is very much against cloth diapers. To be honest it doesn’t appeal to me either despite the cost savings. We will be using disposables absolutely.

As for BFing I would like to Boyfriend or Best Friend 100% but considering I will be returning to work by choice, with lesser hours, I don’t know how it will all work out. I can pump and freeze but with potential day care complications I really don’t know. Obviously I am very early on and we will cross that bridge when we get to it. I would love to Boyfriend or Best Friend only but I am not opposed to formula if it makes life manageable.

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