(Closed) The Groomsman's Girlfriend LONG

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Should I attend the wedding if invited?
    Yes : (57 votes)
    77 %
    No : (15 votes)
    20 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    857 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I think your option is to go, be social, and not act whiny or insecure because your boyfriend isnt around. If you dont go, you’re alienating yourself. The wedding is about the other couple, not how “lonely” youll be without your boyfriend. Stop being ridiculous, be mature, respectful, and go and be social. It’s a no-brainer, in my opinion. 

    Post # 4
    4984 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    You should use the wedding as an opportunity to get to know these people. You said you haven’t gotten to know them before, but now you have the perfect opportuity to mingle and talk and get to know people. 

    Post # 5
    5800 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    You seem to be creating a worst case scenario for yourself. I don’t know why a groomsmen would dance with bridesmaids vs his girlfriend at a wedding. That doesn’t happen. You get to decide how you approach a situation and you are doing yourself a disservice right now. View this as an excuse to dress up and go to a party not a sad sad evening where you sit in a corner and sigh while your bf has fun.

    Post # 6
    1404 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @epilove:  Not going to the wedding, if you are indeed invited, will only draw negative attention to yourself and complicate the already uncomfortable relationship you have with your SO’s friends. Be a supportive partner and show your SO what you’re willing to do for him. This may sound harsh but sitting at home alone refusing to attend the wedding so you don’t feel alienated is akin to a child throwing a tantrum so play the part of a good girlfriend and go along. You might be surprised by how much fun you have and may make a few new friends while you’re there. 

    Post # 8
    3420 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

    @epilove:  “he wants to get me an even more expensive ring and now he might not be able to afford it until 2014.  It just sucks because as patient as I usually am, I really didn’t want to wait over a year from now” <–And did you tell him you didn’t want to wait another year, and that you were fine with the original choice, that being engaged to him NOW was more important then a more expensive rock later? Being honest RIGHT THEN is important to making your wants and needs understood. that would have been a perfect time to talk about it.

    As for the whole wedding thing, OK. I get you. It seems like you may or may not be invited to a wedding it seems you do not want to attend…solution…F*CK IT! Kiss your SO, tell him he looks hot and wave him off, enjoy some wine and some SYTTD. Please spare yourself the pain. They don’t like you? They obviously have mental problems. Be done with it.

    You should be honest to your SO about how his friends (who he obviously doesn’t know THAT well) make you feel and that a high pressure situation like a wedding, where you will be alienated from him will not make for a happy girlfriend, so you would rather not attend. Now, if he begs and pleads for your attendance, then you GOT To go. the man of your dreams asked you to go to a wedding with him. You can inform him that he will be sitting at the weddingparty table and you will not be beside him, sitting with strangers. Do this in a frank way. Just be honest with your feelings. NO ONE SHOULD MAKE YOU DO SOMETHING YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO!

    Then you wont have to get them a gift. Wedding are hella expensive. And to spend so much money on people you don’t even like! NAH

    Money saved:

    • Transportation
    • NEW clothing
    • Tips for bartender
    • gift

    Save yourself the trouble. Go to a wedding you ACTUALLY want to go to.

    Post # 9
    2889 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think you are over analyzing this. Ther is a chance they will seat the bridal party with the rest of theguests as this is becoming more and more popular as compared to a head table. If this is the case you will get him from dinner on wards. Before thinking about where he will be and what his duties are for the day, why not talk to him. Let him know you are concerned you don’t know anyone else and plan a double date with another groomsman and his gf so you have a partner for the ceremony/reception/drive. You say the couple has no interest in getting to know you but it also seems like oyu haven o interst in them. Take steps to make plans with someone, ask SO to invite a few friends over for dinner or a game night. I was recently in a wedding where Darling Husband was my +1. However, my best friend was also a guest and he knew her so they sat together during the ceremony and went to lunch earlier in the day while I was getting ready with the wedding party. She introduced him to other friends and by the time I rejoined him at our dinner table, he was deep in conversation (and drinks) with the boyfreind of another old friend of mine who I had not even met before. You need to try and put yourself out there a bit and be positive. Make the most out of the situation and try to ignore the inner voice telling you these people don’t want to be oyur friend. And let your SO know what’S going on in your head, if you can’t be open and honest with him, he can’t watch out for you. 

    Post # 10
    13 posts

    Oh wow, complicated! I’m sorry you have to go through this. I, personally, wouldn’t go – and here’s why: 1) If I dont know people, I generally tend to avoid large groups of strangers, and 2) If I don’t really know the bride or groom or any of the other partisipants, I won’t go to the wedding (simply because I believe that a wedding should be something between the family and friends of the two love-birds; and not all of their FB friends.)   Now, that being said, I also think that you should go. Spread your wings, make friends, have some good food and drink and enjoy some good music. There is no requirement on how long you stay or who you talk to. Who knows, you might just make some new friends (that you and your SO can hang out with in the future)!    I wish you good luck and hope that this is a positive experience for you overall.  


    Post # 11
    2889 posts
    Sugar bee

    @epilove:  Just read your second comment about you and SO being left out. In that case, I wonder why SO is a groomsman? I mean it seems like he must like the guy to agree to stand up for him. I think I would still try one more time to extend the olive brance before the wedding and try and meet up with the couple and/or another groomsman.

    Post # 12
    2269 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @kariface:  I don’t think she’s being ridiculous, that’s a little harsh.. don’t you think? Everyone is entitled to their feelings..


    @katlovesjames:  Agreed. I know you don’t feel that great about the couple in question so.. don’t hang out with them! They’ll be busy trying to talk to all of their guests at least once. Say your congratulations, tell her that her dress is pretty and the reception is awesome, and then go make some new friends!! Be the super awesome person that you are!

    Also, why wouldn’t you dance with him? I was a bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding and I danced with my fiance, not one of the groomsmen! The groomsmen either went looking for some single ladies or danced with their SOs! 

    Post # 13
    3420 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

    @MissChaiTea:  Thats true too! You do not have to stay long if you do not want to. As long as you leave gracefully no one will notice. but only if you are feeling uncomfortable.

    Post # 14
    340 posts
    Helper bee

    My SO went to a wedding that I was in and it wasn’t so bad for him. He got there right when the wedding started and watched it alone and then when I was taking pics with the bride he found a random couple to chat with while this was going on and then after pictures we went to sit at the head table together. The whole rest of the night we were together. So the only time you will be alone is when they take pictures and my advice to you is to just find a random person to talk with and mingle while alone. You never know, you might even make a new friend!

    Post # 15
    2269 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @slicey19:  That’s a good idea. One last attempt! No one can ever say that you never tried!

    The topic ‘The Groomsman's Girlfriend LONG’ is closed to new replies.

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