(Closed) The Guest List dilemmas begin

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

1. IF you are asking your guests to travel from another city (i.e. long drive, stay in a hotel, eat meals before and after, etc) you really should extend them a +1, regardless of how serious the relationship is. 

2. I’ve never seen anyone on these forums complain because they got an invitation to a wedding, but I’ve seen lots of bitching when they didn’t.  Even if they don’t come, it lets them know you wanted them there and were thinking of them. Send them an invite.

Post # 5
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

@skschick: You are under no obligation to explain “exceptions” to anyone.  I know the saying goes “if one asks, they all will ask” but the reality is they don’t. Most people  won’t notice, and the ones who do are being petty.

This was work related, but I planned a formal dinner for 5 recipients of a prestigious award. One person called to RSVP, and asked if she could bring 2 guests, instead of one.  I hate when they ask that, and particularly at something like a dinner where it’s very noticeable and I have seating plans to sort out.  But she is single, and had 2 sons, so how could I ask her to pick between her kids?  I ended up having the space, so I told her to bring them both. No one noticed, no one cared.  Everyone was just caught up in the purpose of the function, and not the nitty gritty of who was there and who wasn’t.

I really think we assume everyone else will notice these little details and exceptions more than they really do, which is natural, because we are living and breathing it for months as we plan.

Post # 6
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@skschick:  even if they can’t make the trip but you’d want them there, invite them. when in doubt send an invite!!

 

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