- 3 years ago
New here, super excited! Officially on the waiting list.
I’ll keep my story brief, I’m 26 he’s 36, been together for 16 months, living together for 10 months.
Rewind back to the very beginning when we talked about future goals – He said he did not believe in marriage, did not want to have a kid, we were a few months into dating at the time, when he told me this I got out of bed in the middle of the night and went home crying. I knew the next time I saw him I would have to break up with him. The next day I saw him, we had a talk, and he agreed to put it on the table. (Of course me being me I was skeptic, but at the same time, I trust him and we’re both very honest people)
A lot has happened since then, we got through the honeymoon phase, got through the power struggle phase (happened at 6 months when we moved in-lord that was fun) and now (don’t know the name of the following stage we’re in currently) but things are going great! We always talk about our future together, future goals, future dreams, growing old together, and our future little one as well.
I never pressured him about timelines, but after being on this forum I decided I needed to not so much ‘pressure’ him, but I needed to at least tell him where my mind was, I told him about how when he’s 40 and I’m 30 for our 5th year anniversary I wanted to get married and start trying for baby, and he was totally in agreement! Omg it was such a weight lifted off my chest.
I told him if anywhere along the way I do not make him happy he needs to let me know because I don’t want to end up like his Ex. Which is a sad story, and bothers more then it should.
What bothers me is that he never gave her the closure she needed, she still loves him, (currently, she jumped into marriage with a guy due to pregnacy, yet still, she loves my guy, which is understandable I do not blame her) …when they were together she finally left him after 3 years, she was 30 at the time, and he was dragging his feet about marriage and was reluctant to have children….but really this was only the case because he did not want those things with her because she made him miserable/in a constant state of anxiety with her.
Of course they’re still friends on fb, I don’t mind because she does not threaten me, but when the day comes and we’re engaged and all that other stuff gets announced she’s going to feel horrible…I know I shouldn’t care, but this man is really amazing, and if I was in her shoes I’d be devastated…ugh why do I feel this guilt? Like its my problem or something? Like my happiness is making another person feel bad…
Anyway, so much for being brief, lol you deserve a cookie if you read the whole thing.