- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
I am at the point where I know I will have to say goodbye to my furbaby, very very soon. He has been a part of my life since the day I brought him home 8.5 years ago, as a baby. This is him, the day I brought him home.
We’ve been through it all together. Breakups, moving, lonely Saturday nights, getting snowed in (he was my only company for 5 full days!), and finding the ONE (although I approved of my Fiance, long before Dante consented to allowing him to take his spot on the bed). And now, we have to say goodbye.
He now has a very aggressive form of cancer, which has basically been attacking his body since September. He had a non-malignant tumor removed in May, they did a full body x-ray and tested the tumor, and he came back with a clean bill of health. In September, we noticed he had a growth in his mouth, and had to get yet another tumor removed. This time we still tested it, but opted against another x-ray. The tumor came back as cancerous, but the vet seemed optimistic, and recommended that we not do chemo (we wouldn’t have anyway), since it wouldn’t really increase his life expectancy.
Fast forward to December, yet another tumor, another surgery. We didn’t test it, we know it’s cancer. And didn’t do any xrays. Since Christmas Day, he has lost the vision in one eye completely, can not get up the stairs (bless my FI’s heart – he carries him), and we have found 6 new growths – in 3 weeks, and they are growing quickly. At this rate, we know his time is coming to an end. My biggest thing is that I do not want him suffer up until the end, but I can not bring myself to make the decision to say goodbye. I know he’s not going to get better, I know it’s the end. I break down and sob every time I think about walking into the vet’s office, and having to leave – without my baby.
He is so strong and hardly ever lets on if he’s in pain (and stubborn – he still tries to climb the stairs himself!) I just am worried that he is really sick, and he’s suffering. I know what I will need to do, please can anyone tell me how you came to terms with this?
My handsome, healthy boy. Last Spring.