Post # 1
I got engaged in December there, bought my wedding dress (is beautiful! Had fun trying them all on.) and my parents are on at me to think about sorting the wedding out.
My fiance and I are long distance, have been since last August. We intend to get married in July 2013. We spent a bit of time in January together, and both felt so excited about getting married. I’m now back at university and he’s working away in his job.
The long distance has been driving me crazy since we parted. I find it so easy to get caught up in all the negatives, even about getting married. When I’m alone, there are times where I feel pretty good, exactly how I feel when we’re cuddling up and talking about it, and others when I feel a bit of dread and second guess myself.
His laptop broke last week so even Skype isn’t working. Not seeing his face, just MSN and chatting on the phone is really taking its toll. I want to talk more about the wedding, but its hard to gauge how he’s feeling at that moment. He suggested we wait until we’re together for a weekend or so to talk about it properly which is sensible.
In the end, what I want to know, is anyone else in/has been in an LDR found it hard to get positive about planning a wedding physically without their fiance, and maybe felt little lurches of fright/questioning themselves or just plain down about it? I miss him so much, and I am so bitter about our separation right now, I feel like I will explode or burst into tears all the time.
Is this just depression about LDR? Advice would be welcome bees. 🙂
Post # 3
It sounds like the LDR to me. It’s really hard being apart (coming from someone in a LDR before Skype). It wouldn’t hurt to take some time to plan, you still have over a year. When will the two of you be able to be together permanently?
Post # 4
I put a post on here earlier today about living long distance from my fiance. It sucks. We’re not even planning yet because he is in school and we don’t really have a way to pay for it at the moment. I had a really hard time adjusting to being by myself since he left for school this past August. We literally got engaged right before he moved, so it was quite a let down to go from such a high to an empty apartment. I get down because we can’t plan anything and I don’t even like to bring it up because he has enough to worry about right now, let alone a wedding that isn’t going to happen for another two years. I hope that things will work out for you. When will your LDR end?
Post # 5
My Fiance and I were long distance for about a year. I was really hard, but we both worked full time and took a couple long weekend together to see eachother. Its hard, but if you keep busy, talk on the phone, or skype too it helps. It sounds funny, but with all those long phone chats we really got to know one another on another level. If you keep busy it makes the time fly. It gives you a chance to really concentrate on you.
Post # 7
I feel you, sometimes I feel like I am planning our future by my self, he is in the military and I am 3000 miles north of him. We do get to talk on the phone often, but it is rough. My only suggestion is to stay as positive as possible while also being completely open with him. He obviously loves you enough to want to be with you for the rest of your lives, he should want to support you throught all of those hardships and emotions too. but he can’t support you if you don’t tell him about them.
Post # 8
I have been in an LDR since last May, only planning the wedding since about December. The worst part for me was the summer. It dragged on and on without him. The thing that keeps me going is looking forward to seeing him again and counting the days away. Now that I know we are closing the gap this May, and I am moving to be with him, there is much less sadness and anxiety for me.
You have to work at an LDR. Take pleasure in the little things with him. Make him a little scrap books of ideas you have for the wedding and mail it to him. I love to bake for Fiance and mail him treats all the time. We have 3 hour conversations (at least) every night about everything and nothing. Spice it up with some dirty talk. You can do it, trust me. Can’t believe this year of seperation is almost over!
Post # 10
We will be together properly August next year. There’s no way I’m marrying him then waiting around for us to get a place together! Lol, that’s definitely on our priority list, finding somewhere to live.
Thank you for all your replies so far! Please do keep them coming if you have anything to contribute, it is really appreciated.
Also, I’m having a night out with one of my girlfriends tomorrow, is it bad I want to buy two bottles of wine for us instead of one lol. 🙂
Post # 11
@Shychick: No Way!!! The more wine the better!!
Post # 12
I just popped in to say I can sympathize with you. My SO’s laptop is getting quite old (3.5 years) and recently not only has Skype not working, despite being installed and reinstalled, but MSN won’t work either so we now have no way of seeing each other when we’re apart (or communicating not via text or the occasional phone call) and I agree, it sucks.
Post # 13
@Shychick: i feel your pain and identify to the doubts you have. My Fiance and I are 8000 miles apart, 11 hour time difference and it’s not good. Been like this for 1 year and 5 months.
And I get what you ask about planning a wedding alone when you cant even gauge what he thinks/feels. I sent him an email yesterday asking him about it. Our situation is even more tricky cos his divorce isnt final yet so we cant really trully set a date yet. He was going to wait until it got final but it was taking ages and he wanted to move forward with our relationship.
I reckon just take each day at a time and hope for the best.
Post # 14
@Shychick: Aww, sorry to hear that. I completely understand. Whenever a vendor asked “Oh, it’s just you?” it reminds me that my Fiance is not physically around. Plus, I notice that we argue more whenever he’s not around. I don’t know why, it’s just is. But just remember, if you can get through LDR, it says a lot about your relationship. Plus, just think of the day that you will be together again and it will come sooner than you imagine. Cheer up! 🙂