(Closed) The holidays and waiting

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I went through all of this plus some last year… Even got the “you’ll be having a baby next right?” The best way to respond is “we are waiting for the right time for us” they’ll probably still ask & you will still feel awkward when they do… There is no way around that.

Post # 4
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My SO’s parents’ neighbor asked me when we were going to get married the first time I met her! Apparently she had seen me walking with my SO up to his parents’ house multiple times, and she knows his family and his grandmother, so she felt comfortable inquiring… When I told her that we’d spoken about it, but it wasn’t happening in the very-near future, she started guilt tripping me about how we had to do it before his grandmother passes away! Geez lady, I don’t even know you… Thankfully, neither of our families are pushy in that way. I’ve had extended family ask me if I think we will get married, but no pressure to get a move on it! 

Post # 5
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I just smile politely. But i really wish I could point at SO and say, “Good question, please answer.  When are we getting engaged?”

Post # 8
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee

My SO’s family treat me like a permanent fixture, which upsets me because we’re not committed to each other. I may still end up walking away due to his lack of commitment, which will upset them tremendously because they treat me like family. It’s harder over the holidays because I have to try harder to keep my distance and not   seem too much like family. 

My SO himself treats me like a permanent fixture too. He mentions things about the future, like buying a house together, and I have to remind him that we have no guaranteed future because we’re not committed to each other. Then he gets annoyed and I’m not sure why. It’s simple. If you want a guaranteed future with me then marry me. If you don’t marry me then you have to accept there’s no guarantee that I’ll stick around. 

Inevitably we’ll get asked over Christmas when we’re getting married. I’ll say there’s no guarantee that we ever will – we might not even be together this time next year. It seems harsh but I’m sick of being treated like a permanent fixture when there’s no ring on my finger. No ring = not permanent. 

Post # 9
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

Yuuupppp!!!!! I constantly have family members asking me when is the wedding, where’s the ring, hints about children, etc.

Post # 10
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Will be so glad when the waiting period is over! Both of our families are nonstop with the engagement/wedding comments and questions. We’ll hit 3 years in January and I am hoping/praying/doing a good luck booty dance for an anniversary proposal. 

Post # 11
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

Last year at christmaS visiting with SO’s family, his aunt and grandma both grabbed my left hand in excitement as I walked in the door and were both like “so where’s the ring!? Aren’t you guys engaged yet??” I just smile and nod and say “not yet… Ask him!” i sometimes feel bad but that’s my answer always. Not to mention all the times my mom asks “when are you guys getting married??” sigh. 

Post # 12
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

When my boyfriend and I went to visit my family last month, my sister kept telling me to hold my new baby nephew as “practice”. Then she commented on how well my SO was with my nephews and that they needed cousins asap. To add fuel to her fire, my mom said when we have kids she wouldn’t mind us sending them down to her and my dad to spend summers there. So my family is getting way ahead of themselves.

Post # 13
Member
2949 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Not exactly holiday related but… eugh yesterday was my 25th birthday. The questions of “So when are you getting married” have started. Really people??? I have aunts and uncles who have never married and they’re asking me this – frankly it took A LOT of self-control not to turn back around and say “When you are” Tongue Out I just replied with “After the SO proposes of course”

Post # 14
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

I get asked ALL THE TIME when we’re planning on having kids and why we’re making everyone wait so long. I also get reminders that my boyfriend isn’t young anymore and we need to get on it.

First, we have fertility issues. Second, I’m on BC now until we get married and I’m impatiently waiting for that… so people asking me is like rubbing salt into the wound in a few ways!

Post # 15
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Train87BEE:  I am glad you posted this. I am going through the samething. A few of my family members asked me last week if I thought my so would propse to me during the holidays or soon after that. I responed yes. I was prepared for them to start asking me questions like where do you wanna have your wedding etc, but I wasnt prepared for was “Oh thats great, you guys should start having babies soon after you get married. You don’t want to get too old to have kids” First off I am only 26 so I hardly think I am too old to have kids. Secondly, I am not even engaged yet and I am already getting baby questions!

 

I have spent months enduring the “When are you going to get married?” questions. Once I am engaged am going to have to endure months of baby questions? Does the nagging ever end! Ugh Wish people would mind there own business! Sorry I am ranting.

Post # 16
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Only thing I’ve had to deal with so far is my mom repeatedly telling me to get my SO to call her for christmas present ideas… “I’ll get you a ring, just have him call me!” Undecided

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