(Closed) The holidays stress me out!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2759 posts
Sugar bee

No, I definitely understand. His family is in MA and mine is in OH, while we live in NY, so holidays require a LOT of traveling if we want to see people. This year, we were “lucky” in that he got scheduled to work Thanksgiving, Christmas AND New Year’s – so there was no way we could go anywhere. We had a nice, relaxing Thanksgiving at home, traveled to see his family 2 weeks before Christmas and my family came to visit the day after Christmas. New Year’s will be us on the couch, maybe with a couple of friends.

That said, it’s always nice to see family BUT you need time for your own tiny family unit as well. So I suggest talking to your SO and telling him how you feel: you just need a break. Could you two stay in and have wine, order/make a nice dinner and just enjoy each other’s company after a stressful holiday season? Hopefully, he will understand your POV and go for it.

If he does really want to go to the party, maybe you can just “suck it up” in a way knowing that afterward, there are several months of “nothing” ahead to relax by?

Post # 5
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a night to yourselves – but make sure Fiance is on the same page and doesn’t end up resenting you for not going along with the plan.  Are you less social than your FI?  I’m more social than my Darling Husband and I’m the one that tends to go-go-go around the holidays.  This year, however, I’ve reliquished my typically planning craze to Darling Husband and have let him decide which events we’ll attend.  It’s really taken the edge off because I know we are both happy.

It sounds like you are burnt out from socializing and need to strike a balance.  I’d suggest talking to your Fiance and tell him how you feel.  I think being willing to compromise is important (ie:  if he feels commited to go to the NYE party and/or really wants to go, then you should suck it up and go along…) – however, for future events, talk it over before either of you commit to going.  Perhaps there’s events that you choose to opt out of and he goes alone, etc… if he’s ok with that, that’s really the best case scenario, IMO.

Post # 6
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

We both have divorced parent s so we do 5-6 Christmases each year (we both want to celebreate with our own families each year so rotating is not an option.) Each year things get so hectic running all over the place, I claimed Thanksgiving as our holiday where we stay home. My kids help me cook a big meal, we watch the parade and dog shoe and wear our pajamas almost all day. If family wants to come visit us they are welcome, but we don’t leave. Try to set aside some time that is for just you and your Darling Husband and those days are for the two of you to relaxe.

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