(Closed) THE HORROR FMIL showed me her dress.

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
Member
3167 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

YIKES! well she’s the one who’s going to look like an idiot! i don’t know your history but it sounds like if anyone should approach her it should be your FH

Post # 5
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

OH MAN. I don’t know that I could restrain myself in that situation. Good luck.

Post # 6
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

Could you get Fiance to pretend to be interested in seeing her dress, and then tell him once she shows it to him to suggest to her that it may not be appropriate?

you definitely shouldnt say anything to her yourself…

Post # 7
Member
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Oh wow.

Post # 8
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Maybe you can pull a Carrie. I think you could get away with it…. hehe 🙂

Tell Fiance and have him talk to her. Or offer to go dress shopping. I have no clue why she would pick that color dress and then show it to you before hand.

Post # 9
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Invite her over and watch the movie Monster in Law together.  Offer her an iced face pack halfway through, and at the end offer a dinner of tripe.  If she doesn’t get it by then, all hope is lost.  🙂

Post # 10
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

OH NO!!!! I would steal it! LOL. Sneak in and take that thing. Then when she tells you it’s missing tell her you didn’t really like it anyway and it must be a sign. haha.

Post # 11
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

Ask nicely to see it in person and then proceed to dump the glass of red wine you happened to be carrying all over it.

But seriously, she’s going to look like an idiot – I’ve seen pics from two weddings where the mother (in both cases it was the bride’s mom) wearing white dresses and I immediately think wth? It won’t reflect badly on you. But I agree with PP – get your fiance to somehow nicely suggest that is a very poor decision on her part. There are plenty other colors in the rainbow.

 

Post # 12
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I definitely agree with the other bees – it will be quite obvious what role she’s playing when she is trying to upstage the bride and nobody will take her seriously.

Post # 13
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Is she doing it to make a point, or is she just clueless?

When discussing dress options with my mom, stepmom and Future Mother-In-Law, I basically said: “Look, I really wouldn’t personally care if you wore ivory or white, but I will say that if you do, some people at the wedding will assume you are trying to make a negative statement about me or FI’s and my marriage. It’s what I would wonder if I saw it at a wedding.”

I honestly meant it, and I know that none of them would be interested in that kind of statement, so it went over just fine. I mean, really, a white dress doesn’t upstage the bride unless it’s a bridal gown, and even if it caused talk, it would almost universally just be negative talk about the wearer.

Post # 14
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Does your Fiance have any sisters? If so I would enlist the aid of your Future Sister-In-Law to talk her out of this. Hopefully, she can do it in a way that does not make you look like you put her up to it. I think it is common knowledge that the bride wears white at the wedding and no one else. So, she is either totally ignorant, or totally passive agressive. Hopefully, it is the former and it can be straightened out. You could always send your own mom in, and have her ask to see the dress and say something like “Oh! What color are you going to dye it?” when she sees it. That might do the trick.

Post # 16
Member
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is your Future Mother-In-Law a certain culture by any chance?  I know I found out  at my sister’s wedding that our culture says its okay to wear white or off white.  My mom showed up at my sister’s wedding with an off-white dress.  My sister was pissed! 

Afterwards, I found out that it’s part of our culture.

Although, I guess I was ‘lucky’ because my mom didn’t wear white or off-white to my wedding. I was ready for it, too.   Well, either way, I got over it.  My mom’s a little out there sometimes so wearing white to my wedding was the least of my worries.

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